Search results matching tag 'British Craziness'

There’s now't so barmy as politics!

822535 — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 15:53:00 GMT

I was a bit gob smacked to read that Tony Blair is likely to be the next head of the European Union… A job that The Times says, no one wants him for. Which means he’ll probably get it. Over here in America, they love him. That’s why Bush gave him the Presidential Medal of Freedom, rather than JK Rowling, ‘cos Tony doesn’t go in for witchcraft. Mmm, I wouldn’t be too sure about that.

Anyway, the funniest bit was this… Meanwhile, Blair is said by some to have had some reservations about the presidency post, chief among them that he would earn less money than he does now giving speeches and other private work, and that the job would involve a lot of bureaucratic grind. But he would still earn about £250,000 a year with generous EU tax allowances, have a staff of at least 20 and a splendid Brussels residence.

Excuse me, but isn’t he rather busy at the moment bringing peace to the middle East from his permanent suite in the King David Hotel? And what about his two million pound a year job as an adviser to J.P.Morgan?

As described in The Telegraph at the time… Sources close to the bank said Mr. Blair would not need to have an office on Wall Street as he would be called upon "as needed" - and would give much of his advice over the telephone. He might occasionally attend a board meeting or go on visits to parts of the world where the bank had major interests.

Wow, sounds like being on the board of one of the agency holding companies!

Take your Olympics and shove it!

822535 — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 20:06:00 GMT

Everyone over here is shocked that the International Olympic Committee had the unmitigated cheek to award the 2016 Olympics to Rio, rather than Chicago. Rubbing salt in the wound by eliminating Chicago in the very first round of voting. Wankers!

But, I’ll make you a bet right now that most Chicagoans are breathing a great big sigh of relief. ‘Cos based on just about every other host city, the citizens end up paying for it for years after the event has been forgotten. From what I’ve read, the costs for London to host the 2012 Olympics have already tripled, and we’re still three years away from the opening ceremony! Your children’s children will be paying for this long after you’ve gone to that big agency in the sky. Montreal’s 1976 Olympics left the city with $2.7 billion of debt that it finally paid off in 2005. That's almost thirty years.

Why cities want this dubious honor is beyond me. The whole thing has grown into a travesty of the Baron’s original dream. It is now a commercial, nationalist, jingoistic joke, stuffed with all kinds of events that are merely a vehicle to sell more swoosh emblazoned junk to kids who can’t afford it.

Make it all amateur again (are there any left?) And cut out all the sponsors. But, you say, then the host cities wouldn’t be able to afford to build all the different venues… Exactly. So you go back to the original events, running, jumping, throwing a big rock, and naked men wrestling. And you do it on the sports field of the local secondary modern. You make a profit selling tea and renting deck chairs.

Oh, and you can Tweet about it!

Why Big Dumb Agencies will continue to get dumber!

822535 — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 03:18:00 GMT

Coincidental with my recent BrandRepublic piece of the 22nd, talking about the tenth anniversary of David Ogilvy’s death, I have also been doing a series of posts on my US blog, AdScam, about an upcoming number of layoffs at Ogilvy’s New York Office which are expected to happen in the next week or so. Both pieces have drawn numerous comments, some of which are particular to Ogilvy’s current unfortunate condition, but many of which are about the parlous state of agencies in general at the moment.

As I have written about regularly in articles, blogs and books, I believe we are at a watershed moment in the advertising business. Yes, the advent of “New Media” is a major contributing factor, but it is not something we haven’t gone through before and learned to cope with. No, the true seismic change that has taken place in the business over the last thirty years is what I call its “Conglomeration.” Meaning that every major agency (With the single exception of W+K) belongs to one of the four major holding groups. All are publicly traded, and all are about making the quarterly numbers.

But this is becoming more difficult as clients become increasingly aware that “New Media” now offers them less expensive ways to communicate with consumers, and better yet, they don’t have to pay big fees to their traditional agencies to achieve this. Perhaps the most ominous cloud on the horizon for BDA’s (Big Dumb Agencies, as I love to call them) is the news last week that Wal-Mart is asking its suppliers to kick in as much a third of their ad budgets to Wal-Mart’s own ad program. In the case of P&G, this would be well over $1 billion dollars. Which in turn means P&G’s ad agencies are about to lose a third of their billings and fees. And as you know, what Wal-Mart wants, Wal-Mart gets, particularly if you want them to continue stocking your brand!

Not a good time to be a BDA.

Rumors, lies, and the blogosphere!

822535 — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 12:44:00 GMT

One of the things you have to accept about the Internet in general, and the blogosphere in particular, is that you should only believe about fifty percent of what you read. Traditional newspapers and magazines – Even those aimed at the brain dead people who can’t get enough show biz gossip, pop culture, bullshit – Still employ bone fide journalists and fact checkers. Such restrictions rarely apply on-line.

However, no such rules or regulations restrain the vast majority of Internet publishers. Even Wikipedia, which many people consider to be a digital version of something as reliable as the Encyclopedia Britannica, can be altered and tampered with, as I write about in The Hidden Persuaders, in the chapter on drug advertising.

So, I was not surprised to read in Wired on-line, a piece titled… “Standing Room Only: Chinese Airline Plans Seatless Flights.” The article talks about how Spring Airlines will now be offering “standing room only” flights in future. The funny thing is I had also written about this on AdScam a few days ago. But the airline referenced was Ryanair, the notoriously cheap Irish outfit, and the story had originally run on CNBC.

So, the question is… Are either of these stories true? Or are they merely a figment of someone's imagination that gets picked up and amplified as it screeches and ricochets from blog to blog. But who knows, perhaps there is a grain of truth there, God knows, these days the airlines will do anything to squeeze an extra penny out of your “Travel experience.” What’s next, BA offering “wing seats?”

Scouse army holds Denmark to ransom!

822535 — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 01:57:00 GMT

The amounts of money paid in the US for sports sponsorship, is pretty crazy. Until you look at the money being splashed around in the UK for the privilege of putting your logo on a football teams strip. The news that Liverpool want Carlsberg to cough up the same amount of money – Eighty million quid – That Aon squeezed Manchester United for in a four year deal, smacks of extortion to me.

Not that I blame the teams for trying it on… If big dumb companies believe that having a three inch tall version of their logo on a players jersey is worth twenty million pounds a year, then they deserve to get ripped off. Still, I suppose it’s no worse than the British taxpayer being stuck with the billions destined to be shoveled down the black hole of the 2012 Olympics.

I did enjoy reading though, that Liverpool fans have forced Carlsberg to abandon ads and promotions in the Wizened of Oz’s Sun rag, ‘cos Liverpool fans refuse to read it. Plus they are currently demanding an advertiser boycott of the Dirty Digger’s Fox Soccer Channel. What with the current implosion of MySpace, he must be wondering where his next billion is coming from.

Is the sun finally setting over the British Empire?

822535 — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 00:42:00 GMT

Well, I got back last night after traveling for eighteen hours and drinking my way over the North Pole. I had an excellent time, including a very nice extended lunch with our worthy editor, Gordon Macmillan.

I have to confess that even though I try and stay on top of the UK news, I am always mystified every time I get there that I am not up to speed with the latest developments with such cultural icons as Kylie Minogue and Sir Cliff. I didn't even know that Gordon F**king Ramsey has been having it off with some lady who seems to have spent the last 20 years shagging the rich and famous.

As for the X Factor, I thought it was all about the FBI and the paranormal. Turns out it's Pop Idol with a new name. And with Strictly Come Dancing and all the furor about John Sergeant's retirement from the show, I am almost speechless, every time I put on the TV, that's all that was on. Financial crisis, stumbling economy, bloody hell, forget all that unimportant ***, show me another clip of the portly Mr Sergeant stumbling around the dance floor.

TV programming around the world in general is pretty awful, but we Brit's seem to have a penchant for not only producing some really bad stuff, we also, apparently, enjoy watching it!

Goodness knows what the Queen must think about this state of affairs!

I'm not racist... Some of my best friends are British!

822535 — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 16:39:00 GMT

Oh dear, I seem to have trod on a few PC toes with my post about "Scrabulous" last week. I would suggest that those of you with delicate sensibilities watch a few re-runs of Monty Python, or even some recent episodes of the "Simpsons" before busting my chops about about racism.

And if you also think "Rat Vindaloo" is racist, I would suggest you avoid a trip to Trinidad. I once ate that particular dish there while on a TV shoot. And field rats are like hamsters. Very tasty, but you have to watch out for the tiny bones!

Cheers/George

Crappy things to look forward to in 2008!

822535 — Sun, 20 Jan 2008 23:05:48 GMT

Yes... It's that time of the year again when everyone is making forecasts on where the ad biz will be in 2008. Now Leo Burnett in Britain has decided to make a few daft and not so daft predictions.

You can read their full list as posted by Piers on PSFK, here. Most of them make some kind of minimal sense, the one that makes me maddest though, is the one called, "Screen Saturation," where they claim that in the coming year will see the explosion of screen-based media, with screens on the side of buses, in petrol stations, supermarkets, loos and just about everywhere.

As I say in my next book "The Ubiquitous Persuaders," we are exposed to too much advertising as it is... That's why it's becoming increasingly ineffective. God forbid everything ends up like a scene from "Blade Runner" where it was impossible to escape from projected images on just about everything. But, if you're a robot, I suppose you don't care.

Bloody hell, Banksy... I hope you're getting a piece of the action!

822535 — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 08:59:37 GMT

I've never quite figured out the attraction of "Banksy." Don't get me wrong here...

...I love what he does. And even though it involves the use of stencils, I think it's a hell of a lot more creative than dumping rotting fish and sheep in giant tanks of formaldehyde that have to be changed every few years 'cos they are starting to stink.

Anyway anyone familiar with the expanding and increasingly expensive world of "Graffiti Art" will know that "Banksy" is at the top of his profession. What with having his stuff on everything from the Berlin Wall to the Israeli/Palestine Wall, his work is rapidly acquiring the status of a "New Art" icon.

No surprise that a work by Banksy, which appeared in September last year outside a post-production company on the Portobello Road, West London, has topped £200k on eBay:

The owner of the wall in question has stated that the successful bidder will, in addition to the sale price, have to cough up for the "removal and replacement of the wall". Which, at the moment shouldn't cost more than £5,000. But, that's far less than the down payment on a rancid public loo in Hackney!

Take this hard drive and bury it in a cornfield for safekeeping!

822535 — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 00:50:13 GMT

With all the news stories about peoples confidential data being lost, stolen, or seemingly vaporized, I wasn't too surprised to read about the loss of a hard drive containing personal details of three million candidates for the UK driving theory test which has gone missing from a "secure facility" in, amazingly enough, Iowa! That's right, bloody Iowa!

Reading that Transport Secretary Ruth Kelly has only just told the House of Commons the hard drive went missing in May, but 'only' includes name, address, phone number and email - no financial data. I can't imagine why any British organization would have been squirrelling this data away anywhere, never mind in Iowa.

There may be a rationale for retention of test results for future analysis, but the personal details of the candidates are of negligible relevance, and the long term retention of such data seems neither proportionate nor sensible. Is this simply another demonstration of the ever increasing obsession with retaining all forms of data that we seem to be increasingly engulfed in? Poor old George Orwell must be spinning at a high rate of knots right now!