Search results matching tag 'Agency insanity'

Eat your chips, or you’ll never get big and fat when you grow up!

822535 — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 23:49:00 GMT

Unlike the UK, which has pretty strict guidelines on advertising junk food to kids, If you ever wondered why so many young Americans are spotty, overweight, and just generally a pain in the arse... Listen up... We are to blame. And no, I'm not talking about us as parents (well, maybe to a certain extent) I'm talking about the "Us" in the ad biz. Did you know that here in the US, food companies spent nearly two billion dollars to market products to children and teens in 2007. Of which nearly half was targeted to children under 12.

Makers of fizzy drinks spent the most on marketing to children and teenagers, followed by fast-food restaurants and producers of breakfast cereals. And the major advertising platform was television. Tons of television, particularly in the cartoon shows aimed at the really young.

McDonalds gives high schools report card holders that offer free burgers and chips to kids who get good grades. And the corridors of virtually every high school are lined with vending machines for everything from Coke to pork rinds.

As I write in the chapter devoted to advertising to kids in my last book, The Ubiquitous Persuaders, two years ago, the junk food makers agreed to regulate themselves, which is like putting the fox in charge of the hen house.

Since it was was formed in 2006 to fend off government regulation, the Children’s Food and Beverage Advertising Initiative run by the Council of Better Business Bureaus, has done virtually bugger all, in spite of its pledge either to stop aiming ads at children or to promote only what the council calls “better-for-you products” in ads directed at children.

Still, what can you expect from a country that once claimed (when Reagan was President) that ketchup was one of the essential foods groups necessary in a school lunch, and where in some states nearly half the population is obese… Not overweight… Obese. Although I hear it’s happening over there as well. Bloody advertising!

Your bank really, truly, madly, wants to make you happy!

822535 — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 16:00:00 GMT

My last couple of posts have been about US health care and drug advertising, a huge cash cow for American agencies, and one that seems to be completely out of control as far as any kind of meaningful regulatory action is concerned.

The other sector of the American economy that has obviously been taking a lot of flak over the last year has been the banking and financial industry. With the massive bailout many of the banks have recently received, whilst continuing to pay top executives billions of dollars in bonuses, you would think they would at least have some kind of coherent communications strategy that did a couple of things. Admit they screwed up, big time. Thank the taxpayers for their money. And above all, promise never to *** things up again.

So, you have to laugh when you look at the new Bank of America campaign that’s just been launched to the tune of $40 million. In the words of a bank spokes-hack… We are using a series of spots with “simple, clear and direct” messaging to repair our relationship with consumers. They could start off by lowering their outrageous interest rates and banking fees. But no, these epics are all about how easy it is to buy *** you don’t need with your debit card, and how you can win useless rewards by spending more.

According to another spokes-hack, this one for the American Bankers Association… BofA’s move is indicative of a turning point in the recession. “There is still a lot of turbulence going on, and I don’t think it’s over yet. But they’re cuing in on some kind of consumer confidence and optimism that says, ‘Let’s get back to where things where.” Exactly what bloody consumer confidence and optimism would that be then?

It’s just another example of the disconnect continually demonstrated by both clients and their agencies (In this case BBDO) to their audience. All these bozos want is to simply get back to things “the way they were.”

Gentlemen… Things will never again be the way they were. Particularly for the ad biz.

More on US Health Care!

822535 — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 15:51:00 GMT

One of the comments on my last post implied that people who work in advertising shouldn’t be too fussy when it comes to deciding whether or not they wanted to work on certain kinds of accounts… ‘Cos they pay your wages! This drove to write a comment in reply, which I then decided to turn into a post… Here it is…

@media village...
Does this mean you would like to see the return of cigarette advertising? I mean if it's all about holding down a job and paying the bills you may as well advertise everything with no restrictions. How about porn, snuff films, gladiator fights to the death, booze for tots?

The point is that right now in the US, as I am sure you know, there is a whole flap about reforming health care, which costs lots more than any other civilized country and delivers some of the worse results. In fact for 47 million with no insurance, it delivers no results. Standing right next to the insurance companies in this fiasco are the drug companies. And right next to them are the agencies, who have made hundreds of millions in the last few years.

As ad agencies we are tasked with encouraging consumers to demand very expensive branded products, when generics for a tenth of the price are just as good. And in a great many cases an aspirin would probably do as much good. I go into this in great detail in The Ubiquitous Persuaders. For some reason Amazon isn’t offering this in the UK… But, as it’s available on Kindle, come January, you’ll be able to get it on your iPhone… And because I am a prince. If anyone wants to read more, I’ll see if Gordon wants to run that health care chapter on BrandRepublic.

Hooked on Drugs!

822535 — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 03:05:00 GMT

For many years Madison Avenue pigged out at the trough of tobacco advertising. Back in the Mad Men days, cigarettes, booze and car accounts paid for many a Westchester mansion, country club fees and the odd boat or two. But with the ever tightening restrictions on tobacco and booze advertising things started to get a littel tougher. Then along came drugs… No, not the stuff you shove up your nose, the kinds your doctor prescribes for you.

And the good times were back… With a vengeance. Billions of dollars are now spent on DTC (Direct to Consumer) campaigns in an effort to make American Consumers bug the *** out of their doctors to get them to prescribe outrageously expensive medicines, often for ailments that don’t actually exist, such as “Restless Leg Syndrome” or “Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.”

No other country in the world allows this kind of advertising, and Madison Avenue laps it up. But perhaps not for much longer. Legislation has been introduced in the US Senate to eliminate the federal tax deduction on advertising for prescription-drugs. This could affect marketing budgets to the tune of millions, and as I say in the chapter devoted to health care advertising in my latest opus… The Ubiquitous Persuaders, US drug companies spend three times as much on marketing as they do on research and development.

I am sure, however, that the legislation will probably go nowhere. When the armies of drug company lobbyists flex their muscles and the senators are reminded that their re-election war chests might not be so full if they even think about voting for this bill, I’m sure in time honored tradition, it will languish in committee and eventually be forgotten.

There’s much more on this in The Ubiquitous Persuaders. Buy it for crying out loud.

Wow… How the mighty have fallen, only to get up, then fall again.

822535 — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 23:27:00 GMT

When I first worked on the Dell account, back in San Francisco, in the early eighties, they were severely kicking everyone else's arse. Not only did they offer a superior product for a superior price… They overlaid this great sales model with the kind of service which guaranteed, not just that the average punter would keep sniffing around and buying because they were so happy with both the product and the service, but also, Corporate America, which was constantly worried about both the bottom line and the continuity of service and reduced costs, would keep coming back for more.

At the same time Ross Perot was launching an effort to win the Presidency. And he could have won it too, with a combination of his home spun philosophy, and his perceived honesty. Anyway, it didn’t work out for several weird reasons that would take too long to go into.

So, to read today that Dell is buying Perot systems for a mere $3.9 billion, leaves me wondering what the hell is going on? Is this an indication of the final transmogrification of the increasingly failing current American business model? Who the hell knows, everyone from IBM, to Microsoft, to Oracle is convinced that selling services is the future, rather than selling products. I don’t know. At the end of the day, I have this nagging feeling that if you don’t actually make something… You have *** all to sell. But, then again, what the hell do I know?

Old celebrities never die, they simply appear in bad TV spots!

822535 — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 21:24:00 GMT

With the news today in the US that the latest Burger King gross out campaign from the frat boys in Boulder is once again relying on the use of celebrities to push stuff that will probably kill you, only serves to make me once again wonder if this stuff really works.

The new Burger King effort has has NASCAR driver Tony Stewart professing his love for “Whoppers.” No surprise there as the average NASCAR fan is certainly a whopper, if not a gargantuan, and that includes his misses. Apparently the TV features Stewart teaching other celebrities how to endorse products. One of them is Eric Estrada!!! That’s right, the guy with five hundred teeth that used to be in CHIPS five hundred years ago when your box had an eight inch screen, and everything was in green and black.

Still, every time I’m over in the UK, when I put the telly on as I empty the hotel mini-bar, I see people I thought had died in the eighteenth century, and they’re endorsing everything from knickers to knick-knacks. I’ll bet “Our Enery” is still flogging stuff. The only person I know older than him is Sir Cliff. But he’s got that picture in the attic you're not allowed to see!

It isn’t about reach, it’s about rejection!

822535 — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 15:53:00 GMT

In case you hadn’t realized it, I am a multi-tasking, uber-achieving prince of the blogosphere… Meaning that apart from writing this occasional blog for BrandRepublic, I also write a US blog, and manage to bore the *** out of people with various articles and books. The rest of the time I drink, smoke and am generally obnoxious. Anyway, I do have a certain propensity to piss people off when I rant about what I consider to be the slavish insanities of users of such phenomena as MySpace, Facebook and Twitter.

Please don’t get me wrong here; I am not saying that they don’t have a certain appeal to people who can only express themselves in less than 140 characters, or want their home page to look like some art directional nightmare designed by your grandmother. Think email here… Isn’t 80% of the stuff that ends up in your inbox total ***? So why would you want to multiply that with Tweets, friends, pokes, virtual teddy bears and messages on your wall. There are only so many hours in the day. But, if your life is so pathetically barren you need to tell total strangers what you had for breakfast, so be it. I am only raising questions about their current ephemeral (as in short-lived) popularity. Who knows, one day they might be recognized as having been as important factors in the epochal changes of civilization as gunpowder, movable type and indoor plumbing. I doubt it. Think Second Life here… But, moving on…

What is described as “New Media” will, by the time you read it probably be “Old Media.” And will without question have since been replaced by “New-New Media,” or “Uber-Uber New media.” But rest assured, whatever the practitioners of these black arts choose to call them, they will be relentlessly promoted as the next big thing. Something you should definitely climb aboard before the express train leaves the station and you end up in penury for the rest of your miserable life because you didn’t jump aboard. Personally, over the years I’ve realized that sometimes it’s better to grab a cup of coffee, or a beer, in my case, relax, and wait for the next train. Most of the time, you’ll be far better off having missed out on the sheer exuberance and froth of whatever was on offer.

But then, we in the ad biz have always taken the optimistically blinkered view that with the explosion of choices via cable and satellite, the hundreds of magazines that now pander to virtually every niche interest, and the deluge of guerilla, new media, CGC, viral, social, experiential or whatever marketing opportunities are increasingly available, that we now have virtually unlimited ways to reach potential customers. What we conveniently choose to ignore is that the consumer now has unlimited ways to tune you out.

I am not a drug addict… How dare you Sir… But I do, however, advertise drugs!

822535 — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 20:55:00 GMT

Anyone who’s ever lived over here for any extended amount of time has to wonder why the American public is brainwashed to the extent that they actually believe they have the best healthcare system in the world… Even though a quarter of the population has zero health insurance, and the vast majority who do, are likely to have it denied if, God forbid, they should actually get something that requires expensive treatment. The bottom line being, they are screwed!

Anyway, this is not a political rant, it’s about advertising. The big news stateside this week that there are a few members of congress who have actually grown some balls and are trying to reign in the rampant, soporific non-stop prescription drug advertising that continues to pollute the airwaves 24/7 in the land of the free. To which I have to say, guys, you have zero chance of passing this legislation.

As I have written about to great lengths, and with a great deal of feeeling in my last opus, The Ubiquitous Persuaders, the drug industry, and their armies of Washington lobyists, was the great savior of the BDA’s in the eighties after the final demise of fags and hard liquor ads, particularly when it came to the cornucopia of massive TV campaigns. That once glorious pig trough, where money was no object, and the resultant residuals pouring in over the transom, were enough to gag a stoat… Although, I’m glad to say that advertising for brain melting booze is on its way back.

So, in summation… Nothing will change. non-stop prescription drug advertising will be a fact of life for the rest of your life, particularly if you watch US, TV. Enfaticos may come and go, but drugs are forever. This is one of the few sources of income and profit BDA's can continue to count on in the foreseeable future.

Why Big Dumb Agencies will continue to get dumber!

822535 — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 03:18:00 GMT

Coincidental with my recent BrandRepublic piece of the 22nd, talking about the tenth anniversary of David Ogilvy’s death, I have also been doing a series of posts on my US blog, AdScam, about an upcoming number of layoffs at Ogilvy’s New York Office which are expected to happen in the next week or so. Both pieces have drawn numerous comments, some of which are particular to Ogilvy’s current unfortunate condition, but many of which are about the parlous state of agencies in general at the moment.

As I have written about regularly in articles, blogs and books, I believe we are at a watershed moment in the advertising business. Yes, the advent of “New Media” is a major contributing factor, but it is not something we haven’t gone through before and learned to cope with. No, the true seismic change that has taken place in the business over the last thirty years is what I call its “Conglomeration.” Meaning that every major agency (With the single exception of W+K) belongs to one of the four major holding groups. All are publicly traded, and all are about making the quarterly numbers.

But this is becoming more difficult as clients become increasingly aware that “New Media” now offers them less expensive ways to communicate with consumers, and better yet, they don’t have to pay big fees to their traditional agencies to achieve this. Perhaps the most ominous cloud on the horizon for BDA’s (Big Dumb Agencies, as I love to call them) is the news last week that Wal-Mart is asking its suppliers to kick in as much a third of their ad budgets to Wal-Mart’s own ad program. In the case of P&G, this would be well over $1 billion dollars. Which in turn means P&G’s ad agencies are about to lose a third of their billings and fees. And as you know, what Wal-Mart wants, Wal-Mart gets, particularly if you want them to continue stocking your brand!

Not a good time to be a BDA.

Holding company executives feel your pain!

822535 — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 21:40:00 GMT

In a further sign of how bad things are getting over here, BBDO Detroit is granting its 450 staff a four week furlough… Which is Capitalism Speak for four weeks off, without pay. As one commentator put it… “BBDO staffers might want to ask themselves, is getting a European-style four weeks vacation this year really all that bad? Only the U.S. forces its employees to work like slaves with only two weeks off a year. Perhaps it is time for America to come into line with international standards and give workers a decent level of minimum vacation time.”

What this cretin conveniently forgets is that when all those socialist workers get up to six weeks vacation every year… They actually get paid. And lets not get into all that maternity leave and free health care stuff. Bloody communists. Next thing you know they’ll be stopping European workers from owning assault rifles and bazookas.

Meanwhile, back at BBDO’s parent company, Omnicom, they’ve lost $685 million in the first quarter of 2009. At least, all the Omnicom heavies, including CEO John Wren, have taken big pay cuts, unlike the charlatans at Interpublic who after particularly pathetic results received big pay raises and multi-million dollar bonuses.

And let’s not get into Sir Martins projected $94 million five year bonus package from WPP. As my old Mum used to say… It’s the rich wot gets the gravy, it’s the poor wot gets the blame.