Show me the money, social networker!"

My last post gathered quite a selection of comments with about half of them telling me I was full of ***... Which is fine, I have thick skin and at least the piece caused a reaction. But only one commenter picked up on my observation of how few social networking sites seem to have any kind of business plan for monetizing themselves as an advertising proposition.

Obvious as it sounds, many are questioning how to change the way effectiveness of advertising content is measured. And as the point of advertising on a social network is to get the attention of, and hopefully have an impact on users, existing forms of measurement, based on clicks and impressions, just don't do it.

There's lots of chat about awareness and consideration, meaning that ad messages have to encourage engagement, Sean Finnegan, president and chief digital officer at Starcom MediaVest, claims that multi-dimensional measurement will become  inevitable, suggesting that a model will evolve that accurately makes every step of the interaction between the audience and the site quantifiable, from traditional metrics like reach and time spent to interaction rates.

I just don't think anyone has cracked it yet.

Why Twitter is dumber than FaceBook, which is pretty damn dumb!

Everyone seems to be getting their knickers in a twist about the redesign of Facebook... Seems like it's a bit too close to Twitter for some peoples tastes. Personally, I think they're both a complete waste of time... I'm sure that's going to piss a lot of people off, but really I'm getting tired of complete strangers wanting to be my "friend." Writing on my wall, or sending me a virtual teddy bear. As for getting "tweets" telling me what someone had for breakfast or how many times they've had a dump.... No thanks.

The fact that Facebook is getting bigger than MySpace doesn't impress me at all. MySpace has to be the world's biggest refuge for cretins with no sense of design or good taste. Anyway, it belongs to The Wizened of Oz, so I wouldn't touch it with a bargepole. As for Facebook having a valuation is excess of the United Kingdom, I'd love to see exactly how much money they are currently making.

Twitter turned down a buy-out offer from Facebook of $500 million, and if someone can actually explain to me exactly why it's worth that much, and exactly what the business plan is to monetize the thing, let me know.

And before you ask... Yes, I am on both FaceBook and Twitter... I just don't use them much. I have better ways to spend my time. But if you want to know about my bowel movements... Tweet me.

Could someone dig up David Ogilvy... Please!

You have to love the news here in the US this week that the Online Publishers Association has just released several new really ugly, in-your-face advertising formats designed to be both more obtrusive and interactive.

As I say in my new book, The Ubiquitous Persuaders, as advertisers become increasingly desperate to reach their target audiences, instead of being smart about it and perhaps doing something original, like raising the quality of what they say instead of merely raising the volume, they might get better results. But no, that's rarely the mindset of either clients or the majority of their dumb agencies.

As I said a couple of posts ago, a very senior executive of Interpublic said recently, "Hard times call for hard sell!" Going on to explain that as the economy gets more screwed up and client budgets shrink, agencies should now endeavor to create advertising that actually sells products...

Ogilvy, New York, has just introduced, with great fanfare, a new unit aimed at delivering better value for small budgets, citing the fact that the current economy calls for more accountability. They have therefore assembled a team of twenty one "top experts" - Surely all experts are "top,' that's why they're experts! - Who will now be dedicated to this no doubt temporary task untill the storm clouds dissipate and the good ship BDA can continue steaming into the glorious sunset.  

To which, If I was an Interpublic, or Ogilvy client, I would have to ask... Hello, shouldn't you be doing that all the time, no matter what state the economy happens to be in?

BDA's seem to have this masochistic desire to continually shoot themselves in the foot, usually after they've shoved it in their mouth. I am reminded of the last lines of David Ogilvy's, Confessions of an Advertising Man. His sister asks him if advertising should be abolished. He replies... "No, my darling sister, advertising should not be abolished. But it must be reformed." That was 45 years ago. I actually do an homage to David by finishing my new book with his prophetic quote, because I have a feeling forty five years from now, we'll still be waiting for the reformation. 

By which time I will have gone off to join David at that BDA in the sky!

Madison Avenue "Feels your pain!"

Right now, here in the US, there's a lot of hand wringing going on about the state of the ad biz, which is understandable when you consider the mess the economy is in (not that it's any better in the UK!) What is unfortunate though, is that whenever this happens, and I've been around the track enough times to have seen this occurrence more than most, BDA's (Big Dumb Agencies) and BDC's (Big Dumb Clients) invariably want to go back to the same old hackneyed boiler plate methods they are convinced saved their *** last time around.

A very senior media guy from Interpublic was quoted the other week as saying "Hard times call for Hard Sell advertising. We need to do the kind of advertising that shows demonstrable results." Which would lead me to ask, isn't producing demonstrable results something you should be doing as a matter of course? Compounding the felony, Ogilvy has just announced that is setting up a special unit aimed at clients with shrinking budgets that promises to deliver better results for less money."

Do these people realize how preposterous they now sound? In the bubble world of Madison Avenue, probably not. But many clients are no different. In a recent study by Anderson Analytics, return on marketing investment moved from sixth place to third in order of importance to the clients questioned. 

Pardon me for sounding naive here, but should getting the most value for your marketing, advertising budget be your first priority, irrespective of the state of the economy?

"The Ubiquitous Persuaders" - The best book on advertising since "Scouting for Boys."

Yeah, I know the headline doesn't make sense, unless you've already had a few "bevies." But, it got your attention, right?

So, I just finished my new book, "The Ubiquitous Persuaders" a fifty year update on the Vance Packard classic, "The Hidden Persuaders." And if you're in the ad biz and don't know about that book, you probably think David Ogilvy is a "Roller" salesman in Berkeley Square.

Moving on, the foreword is by Jeff Goodby, and if you dare say, "Jeff who?" You can stop reading this right now and go back to running your Ferret Farm up North. Here's a bit of what he says about the second best book in the world...

If there were an emperor of advertising, I like to think he’d say things like, “Bring me George Parker’s head, braised first to seal the juices, then roasted in a nice medley of root vegetables.” Yeah, George is a little controversial. He is, after all, the man who regularly refers to Sir Martin Sorrell, probably the most powerful guy in advertising, as the “Poisoned Dwarf.” He calls out big international clients in unflattering terms that often involve genitalia or bottom-feeding fish. And he’s probably said some upsetting things about me that I’ve somehow managed to miss.Yet here I am writing the preface of his Goddamn book. Because the thing is, the guy is so often, well, right. There is still more Georgian rightness in what you’re about to read between these covers. But what he has to say in here is not just right, it’s hugely inspirational. 

Well, what can I say after that... Except, buy the Goddamn book. In the US, from Amazon, in the UK It's on Amazon right now. And don't forget to buy one for your Mum.

Welcome to Ryanair... Please wear your geriatric nappies!

One of the things generating lots of publicity over here is the news that Ryanair might soon start putting coin slots on the bathroom doors of their planes. I mean, no surprise there. Flying in anything less than Donald Trump First these days is like having a root canal without benefit of Novocain and several stiff brandy's.

The rot started to set in many years ago with the introduction of Business class, a scam which allowed airlines to con travelers into paying a shitload of money for a ticket that didn't cost quite as much as First class, but you got free booze and the disgusting food they served didn't come in a plastic box. I remember being on a London - Paris flight the first day BA introduced "Club Class." The flight attendant came on the speaker and said, in a very plummy accent... "BA would like to welcome passengers to Club Class, you will receive a complimentary breakfast and Champagne... Passengers in Economy, will receive... Nothing!" This was no doubt intended to put the rabble in the back of the plane, firmly in their place.

I loved the fact that Michael O'Leary of Ryanair said he did not see paying to go for a pee as causing an inconvenience to passengers: "I don't think there is anybody in history that has got on board a Ryanair aircraft with less than a pound." Bloody Hell, I thought that the demographic Ryanair was aiming for!