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February 2008 - Posts

Doctor... I think I've swallowed a Google!

by George Parker, Feb 29 2008, 10:39 PM

The mighty Google machine keeps on ticking, even after taking a temporary licking. Having more or less recovered from Wall Street's infectious doubt about the health of its ad business earlier this week, Google on Thursday offered a glimpse of Google Health, its upcoming personal health records management service.

"Google Health aims to solve an urgent need that dovetails with our overall mission of organizing patient information and making it accessible and useful," said Marissa Mayer, Google's VP of search and user products, in a blog post. "Through our health offering, our users will be empowered to collect, store, and manage their own medical records online."

Coincidentally last week, the World Privacy Forum released a report warning that personal health records (PHR) are not protected by federal privacy and security rules and that putting PHRs online raises a number of privacy risks. Knowing Google, I shouldn't think that will slow them down. Pretty soon, Google will be everywhere, and there won't be a thing you can do about it!

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EU kicks Microsoft in the nuts!

by George Parker, Feb 28 2008, 02:58 AM

As if it didn't have enough on its plate with the Yahoo bid,  Microsoft got a mighty big rap on the knuckles today when EU Competition Commissioner Neelie Kroes, said, "Talk is cheap. Flouting the rules is expensive." How expensive? Well, several years of flouting the rules and talking a storm are going to cost Microsoft a record fine of 899 million euros, or about $1.35 billion. The penalty, about half what it could have been, was levied on the software behemoth for its continued failure between 2004 and October 2007 to provide rivals with reasonably priced and complete Windows development information.

On top of previous fines stemming from the same judgment, Microsoft's EU tab stands at about $2.6 billion. Ouch! "Microsoft was the first company in 50 years of EU competition policy that the commission has had to fine for failure to comply with an antitrust decision," said Kroes in a statement. "I hope that today's decision closes a dark chapter in Microsoft's record of non-compliance." 

Microsoft could still appeal the size of the fine, but that didn't work on a previous attempt. As it stands, the fine is payable in full -- in euros only -- in three months. And it's not like paying up gets the EU off Microsoft's back. Just last month, antitrust regulators launched two fresh probes into the way Redmond does business. Even a company as rich as Microsoft can't keep this charade going forever!

 

Got game?

by George Parker, Feb 26 2008, 01:27 PM

With all the sturm & drang going on in Silicon Valley right now because the digerati think Microsoft will take Yahoo pieces and reassemble it as a Microsoft clone, they now have one of their own to cheer on. Redwood City-based Electronic Arts' bold bid for Take-Two Interactive, the Manhattan-based maker of Grand Theft Auto, has certainly been good news for Take-Two. EA's move sent Take-Two stock soaring to its biggest gain ever, closing up 54.9 percent.

GTA is "the most controversial video game of all time," One pundit reports, primarily for its violent and sexual storylines. Moreover, Take-Two Interactive's founder ran afoul of the feds over stock option manipulation.

That spices up the drama, since EA is known for more family friendly titles including "The Sims" and "Madden NFL." "Innovation trumps controversy," EA chief executive John Riccitiello said in explaining his covetousness.

As gamers grow up - if they ever do grow up - maybe there'll be a new corporate game. "Grand Theft Options!"

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Old tat sellers boycott eBay!

by George Parker, Feb 26 2008, 01:24 AM

I sometimes wonder how effective boycotts and blog campaigns are at persuading companies to change their ways. Kicking up a fuss worked when Apple reduced iPhone prices a few weeks after the launch. But clever sod GodJobs sent everyone a $200 rebate ticket, which you had to spend on more Apple stuff, so you wonder who benefited the most.

Anyway, the reason for the question is the conflicting stories I am hearing about the week-long boycott of eBay from a semi-organized group of "power sellers" who feel shortchanged over recent pricing changes. Without going in details, these people withdrew their business from eBay for a week. For now, the results of the protest are unclear and of course, disputed.

Online auction trackers such as PowerSellersUnite and Medved indicate eBay's total auction listings dropped as much as 13 per cent over the week — but then again, eBay claims that the site's internal statistics showed the boycott "had no impact" on listings. Doubtless to say, the company does not release those figures publicly. I suppose we'll never know.

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YahooNauts... Resistance is futile... Surrender... Surrender... (Shrill, Dalek like voice!)

by George Parker, Feb 23 2008, 11:54 PM

Why am I getting the impression that Microsoft is pretty confident its takeover bid for Yahoo is going to succeed. What makes me say that? 'Cos of this memo Microsoft sent to its employees outlining their vision of how the software giant intends to take over Yahoo and mercilessly merge the companies' cultures and resources...

Microsoft platform and services division president Kevin Johnson shared the following "Perspective of the process going forward. We look forward to a constructive dialogue with Yahoo's board, management, shareholders, and employees on the value of this combination and its strategic and financial merits. Once Yahoo and Microsoft agree on a transaction, we can begin the integration planning process in parallel with the regulatory review."

Anyone who does not agree with this proposal, will be taken out and staked to an anthill, until the only thing left are their bones bleaching in the sun!" Actually, I just made the last bit up... But, why do I get the feeling that resistance is futile?

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Barista Bullshit!

by George Parker, Feb 22 2008, 02:07 AM

Interesting to read today here in the US that Starbucks has laid off 220 employees who have been working in field operations and at the coffee retailer's headquarters in Seattle. The news was delivered by the company's chief executive, who told employees today by e-mail. The company will also leave about 380 currently open jobs unfilled.

As there seems to be a Starbucks on just about every street corner these days, I wonder if they might be just a bit better served by closing down some of these joints? The company's Chairman and Chief Executive Howard Schultz announced the 600 job cuts in an e-mail to the company's more than 170,000 employees. Most of the laid-off employees worked in the United States, the company said, adding that none are baristas (which is an uber-trendy name invented by Starbucks to describe the people who actually serve you the outrageously priced Styrofoam containers of coffee.)

Starbucks, which has been struggling amidst the continuing melt down of the American economy, needs to seriously get its act together. When a cup of coffee costs twice as much as a beer you should seriously start thinking about changing your business model!

 

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Quit Yahoo... Get rich!

by George Parker, Feb 20 2008, 11:25 PM

Down in Silicon Valley, things are starting to get nasty in Microsoft's bid to take over Yahoo: the latest move being a plan by Microsoft to nominate its own board of directors, hoping shareholder support of its $31-a-share offer will help it take control of the company. The proxy battle plan, designed to turn the screws on Yahoo's board, makes sense from a cost perspective. Analysts estimate the battle would cost Microsoft just $20 million to $30 million, while each dollar it sweetens its takeover offer adds up to another $1.5 billion.

Meanwhile, Yahoo is fighting back, adopting a rather lush severance plan for workers that, in the case of an acquisition, provides up to two years pay and benefits, accelerated stock and option vesting, and help finding new work. Yahoo's move could backfire.

As Silicon Alley Insider Harry Blodget sees it: Yahoo has just spent whatever money Microsoft has set aside for retention bonuses. "If Jerry [Yang] was counting on the support of Yahoo workers in his effort to block the company's sale to Microsoft, he's now torpedoed that idea," Blodget writes. "Yahoos are now going to welcome Microsoft -- or any other acquirer -- with open arms." With a severance package like that, so would I.

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Microsoft mind games mess with Yahoo's head!

by George Parker, Feb 17 2008, 04:17 PM

I like to read the words of wisdom from Silicon Valley pundit, Robert X. Cringely, who this week reckons that Microsoft might not really care if its bid to buy Yahoo succeeds or not — Bill Gates just wants to disrupt Yahoo and poach the company's employees. 'Microsoft's offer for Yahoo has thrown that company and several others into a tizzy. Yahoo can't be getting much work done, that's for sure ... Redmond's real goal may be simply to poach people from Yahoo, and this deal could help them do just that.'

Cringley says there is plenty of precedent for Microsoft's behavior — Microsoft's bids for Borland and for Intuit back in the 1990s sent both companies into a tailspin. 'A failed Microsoft bid, even one involving a termination fee, could lead to horrific results for the company. Remember that Yahoo is staggering here while Intuit was at the top of its market and its game.'" Based on what I know about Microsoft, having worked on the account off and on for years... Cringely might be on to something here.

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Mini my arse!

by George Parker, Feb 17 2008, 12:21 AM

Here in the States, the Mini has been quite a success storry, selling 35,000 cars last year, which may not sound a lot compared to the big brands, but for a niche product, it's done extremely well. So, I'll be curious to see if they screw things up with the release of the "Clubman" model next week.

It's a 5 door good bit longer version of the original Mini, so I guess they're going for the SUV market, providing no member of the family is over three feet tall. But in my opinion, for what it's worth, this is a really dumb move. The number one attraction of the Mini in the US, was that in a nation of gas guzzling behemoths, the Mini was different because it was sporty, good looking, and SMALL. That's why you called it a "Mini." Remember guys? OK, it was named after the original Mini, which I used to drive many years ago in the UK, but I think you get my point.

This is not brand extension, this is brand adulteration. It happens time after time, and when it fails, as it often does, the people responsible scratch their heads and wonder why. The great screenwriter William Goldman once said "No one in Hollywood knows anything." That's why they keep making the same mistakes. You could say that about the people who make cars... Come to think of it, you could say that about most of the people who make ads.

 

Yahoo = Netscape = Microsoft = Resistance is futile!

by George Parker, Feb 14 2008, 09:09 PM

Over here in the colonies, you have to love all the crap flying around about how Murdoch's Empire of Evil... News Corp... Is rumored to be making an offer to buy Yahoo. It'll never happen, yesterday's Wall Street Journal played it up big, while inflating the value of MySpace to over $10 billion. I'm sure it's only a coincidence that the WSJ is now owned by "The Wizard of Oz!"

Believe me... Microsoft buying Yahoo is inevitable... It makes the most sense to shareholders. Yahoo has been in steady decline for years. Microsoft can leverage the Yahoo brand, using their superior search technology to create a real competitor to Google and maybe overtake them.

Think what the mighty MS machine did to Netscape! It's what investors want... a return on their money. And since Yahoo is 71% owned by institutions, most of which also own f MS shares, it would be easy for MS to get the votes needed if  they have to go hostile. This is what will happen.

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The "King of Beers" announces another shitty product!

by George Parker, Feb 13 2008, 02:53 PM

I had to laugh when I read in today's AdAge about the launch of a new Budweiser brand... "BL Lime" which is apparently a lime flavored version of Bud Light. I can't imagine anything more dreadful. Most light beers are pretty tasteless, so I suppose adding some lime flavoring will give it a bit of a nudge. But then I have to ask myself, why not just drink lime juice.

In a Budweiser memo some dufus says... "This insight will allow us to take Bud Light to the next level." The memo also said the brand's "consumer target" were light-beer drinkers ages 25 to 54 who prefer a "sweeter" beer, as well as "trendsetters and aspirers." Wow... No Rock Stars or Change agents. Just shitty beer!

 

Nichte Kochen der Würste... Start making shit!!!

by George Parker, Feb 12 2008, 11:02 PM

Living in a country where the the vast majority of workers have lost their well paid industrial jobs and are now flipping burgers for minimum wage, it was interesting to read in today's Spiegel about the comeback of German manufacturing and how it contradicts the commonly held notion, particularly here in the US, that the future belongs to the service industry.

When in reality, in Germany, manufacturing firms are currently the engines of growth in the economy, even for the service sector. Throughout Germany manufacturing companies are reporting record orders, production growth and hiring levels. For decades, the gradual shift from a manufacturing to a service-based economy seemed inevitable. As we hear over and over again in the US, it is a law of nature that manufacturing's share of the economy must shrink while the service economy grows.

Until recently, it was said in Germany that the country no longer had a future as a manufacturing country. But in reality its economy continues to grow. Virtually all production indicators are pointing upward. The manufacturing sector is expected to grow by four percent this year, a rate more than twice as fast the economy as a whole. Perhaps there's a lesson there for other industrialized nations. Why would you want to roll over and accept you will probably be flipping burgers for a minimum wage for the rest of your life?

 

Why am I not surprised the CEO of BBDO talks crap?

by George Parker, Feb 12 2008, 02:39 AM

So, I'm sat here in my basement lair - OK, so I'm trying to emulate the "Poisoned Dwarf," - When I read something about the current state of the ad biz that made me almost blow my third gin & tonic out of my nose... 

"I personally think there is an opportunity for optimism," said John Osborn, president-CEO of BBDO New York, who last month traveled to the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland. He made a big deal out of the fact that "A tone of optimism was set by U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice in an opening keynote address at the conference. "The U.S. economy is resilient, its structure is sound and its long-term economic fundamentals are healthy," Rice said in her speech.

Well, I always knew the Bush administration lived in a gigantic bubble of its own making... But for Osborn to come out with a statement as patently ridiculous as this is unforgivable. Still, if I got to go by private jet to Davos and swan around for a few days at the Omnicom shareholders expense, I'd probably be bloody optimistic too!

 

Crickey, it's almost Cannes time. Better get the white disco suit to the cleaners!

by George Parker, Feb 10 2008, 10:55 PM

It's getting to be that time of the year when a young mans fancy starts to turn towards Cannes. Interesting to read in AdWeek about Mark Tutssel's thoughts on what he'll be looking for when he heads the Titanium and Integrated jury for Cannes 2008.

Seems like he gets a bit upset when people enter rubbish. Well all I can say, is if they are prepared to pay the absurd mega dollar entry fees Cannes charges these days, "let them enter rubbish" to paraphrase a long dead, headless, cheese eating, surrender monkey.

Speaking of monkey's, he quotes the recent Cadbury's "Gorilla" video as the kind of thing he thinks is great. His reason is that it's been seen on YouTube 12 million times, which is three times what Dove 'Evolution,' did. He doesn't say how much chocolate it shifted, but then, apart from the EFFIE's, no awards shows ever ask those kind of awkward questions. Oh, and can we take down the BrandRepublic "Cannes 2007" blog now? Subservient Chicken anyone?

 

ooVoo... ooVoo... Dive... Dive... Emergency!!!

by George Parker, Feb 08 2008, 11:39 PM

Just to make sure everyone knows... All my oovoo sessions are at 10 AM Mountain time... That's mid day in the East and 9.00 AM in the West... In Europe... It's 5.00 PM in England... The Kaiser will have to work it out in KrautLand. See Ya all at the appointed time. Cheers/George

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MadScam

An ex-pat Brit's "Take-no-Prisoners" look at the current American ad scene in all its horror and desperation!
 

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