If you can contain your excitement. The good news is that I'm in London for the PSFK Conference tomorrow. There's still time to get to it if you are interested. Should be good, lots of bright people there like Johnnie Vulkan, Russell, and a ton of others I can't remember, but you can get the details at the PSFK site.
Tonight is all about "Getting to know" my fellow Brand Republic bloggers at a secret boozer in SoHo. As I've been up for about thirty six hours, I should be in great shape. Still, I'm looking forward to it.
I'll post some more tomorrow when I've recovered a bit.
Cheers/George
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By the time you read this I'll be on the way to San Francisco and then on to London to speak at the PSFK Conference on June 1st, before which I'll meet with all the people at Brand Republic for a piss up. then spend the rest of my time there getting lots of steak and kidney pudding, jellied eels and tripe and onions down my piehole… Yum. All the stuff that makes most American’s freak out.
And by the way, contrary to the American stereotype the beer isn’t warm, it’s cellar temperature. That way you can taste it, unlike “Lite” beer which tastes like… "Lite nothing." Anyway, enough of the gourmet delights. I shall be out of touch for a day or so over the North Pole or somewhere, so I won’t be posting after this until tomorrow, which might be the day after or something. I'm actually nine hours behind you guys.
But don’t worry; I shall be here on MadScam as soon as I sober up from the flight. I’ll be in Business Class, so the booze is FREE. I’ll have a couple of pints for you all… Cheers/George
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As F. Scott Fitzgerald once said... "The rich are different from you and I." Today's news that Sergey Brin, Co-Founder of Google has invested $4 million of Google's loot in his new wife's start-up, "23andMe" a biotech company she recently founded, isn't that surprising... Until you sit down and say... Whoa... In your best Keanu Reeve's Matrix Voice... "Cos there are two weird factors to consider here.
First, Sergey Brin is one of the richest guys on the face of the planet, who's personal fortune dwarfs what this country (the USA) owes the "Peoples Republic of China." Which incidentally is something I wake up in the middle of the night thinking about... Don't you find it funny that the world leading capitalist country owes its shirt, socks and underpants, to the world's leading communist country? Anyway, moving on...
Second... Why is he using Google's money to invest in his wife's company? Isn't $4 million dollars of his own personal fortune equivalent to the lint he finds in his trouser turnups every day? But as I'm sure not one single Google shareholder will question the company about this, it simply goes to prove dear old dead F. Scott's observation. That's why I'm looking forward to the days when I can stick it to the shareholders of Parker Global Phantasmagoria Inc.
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I was amused to read this week that not all the crazy people are working in advertising here in the US. Apparently there's quite a few working for the BBC back in Britain. News reports indicate that a Panorama team, while putting together a scaremongering film over the dangers of Wi-fi transmissions and how they were harming children, were told to leave the school because even the kids could see it was really dumb:
When the children saw Alasdair's Powerwatch web site, and the excellent picture of the insulating mesh beekeeper hat he sells for £27 to protect your head from all the excess microwave exposure that goes on when the pubs throw out, they were astonished and outraged and the Panorama team was promptly expelled from the school. Makes you think though when a bunch of high school kids are actually a hell of a lot smarter than most TV producers. But then again... Not really!
When you look at the car biz here in the States you have to wonder if they really have a clue. Right now every American is freaking out that gas (petrol before anyone jumps on me) is over $3 a gallon. Yes, that's one pound fifty! Makes you feel sorry for the poor buggers doesn't it. As I tell everyone, it's a good job you don't live in Europe, you'd have committed suicide by now.
Of course the fact that nearly everyone here drives giant trucks and SUV's that do between 8 and 12 miles to the gallon doesn't help. And most of the people driving trucks, don't actually truck anything. Anyway, the news today is that in the interest of saving on their gas consumption, people are now starting to buy smaller cars... But, as a third car. They'll keep the Hummers and Cadillacs, but use the mini to go round the corner for a packet of fags or a pint of milk, because no one walks anywhere in America, and if you live in California, you live in your car and throw the garbage out of the window.
The best part though are the TV spots you see all the time. The vast majority are for the giant trucks and SUV's that people here claim they can't afford to run any more. Still they could always re-finance their houses. Oh, forgot... The bottoms dropping out of that too!
The barrage of pharmaceutical advertising, particularly on TV, here in the States continues to grow. Last year drug companies spent $4.2 billion on direct-to-consumer advertising (which they are desperately trying to introduce into the UK) featuring ads aimed at healthy, upper income, middle aged people.
Most of these ads try and scare the crap out of the target audience by inferring that you may look and feel healthy... But there might be some really bad shit going on inside you that can only be fixed by our miracle drug Boxogen, or whatever. The really sad thing is that a lot of this crap seems to work as sales of stuff that a lot of people don't really need are up substantially.
It was bad enough a few years ago when the drug companies tried to sell you relief for something you already knew you had... Now most of the effort is aimed at trying to persuade you that the itch you've been feeling in your big toe, just might be the onset of leprosy, or bubonic plague... But not to worry, a treatment of outrageously expensive Boxogen will prevent all those itchy extremities from falling off.
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Dell selling in Wal-Mart? As I worked on the Dell Computer account for a good few years at Chiat, San Francisco, I was always an admirer of the 'Direct Sales Only' policy.
(You can see some of the ads on my web site). Instead of getting down in the trenches with everyone else selling through retailers and VAR's they perfected both their "Just in Time Manufacturing" model, since copied by many other companies, and more importantly they fine tuned their advertising to the point were it made them the biggest PC company in the world.
Don't forget... If you're selling direct, if the ads don't work... You're out of business. But eventually all things change. Today's news that Dell is about to start selling through Wal-Mart is a good indication that not only is the PC market like selling any other commodity, it's also extremely price sensitive. Wal-Mart certainly has the geographical coverage, but it doesn't have the cachet of higher end retailers. It'll be interesting to see how this plays out.
I don't know what the release date is over there, but here in the US it’s almost iPhone time! Which means every Apple Freak out there is going to want to be the first on their block to flash their reeeely cooool new iPhone when they drive their Hummer round the block to pick up a pizza.
And with its Google Maps functionality there’s no way they can possibly get lost on the way. Then while they wait for the pizza to come out of the oven they can look at satellite images of the Eiffel Tower or the Coliseum in Rome! Once they get home they can watch a movie on the two inch screen, then check closing stock prices before turning in for the night and setting the iPhone alarm to wake them up in the morning. Then they can use it to take a shower!
Oh, and guess what? You can even use it to make phone calls… No wonder it’s worth every penny of the $600 price tag. Who says Steve Jobs isn't a genius?
Who says you can’t make money blogging… Actually most people… I’m living proof. But there's always hope, and today’s new-media success story makes you think…
Well, you never know. Last year, Howard Lindzon came up with an idea for a daily video blog that would take a lighthearted look at Wall Street news.
In classic entrepreneurial fashion, Lindzon, attracted $600,000 in start-up funding from friends and family, then gave birth to Wallstrip, hosted by Lindsey Campbell.
Today, CBS Interactive announced it had bought Wallstrip for $5 million, with Quincy Smith, the unit's president saying, "The Wallstrip team is made up of savvy and resourceful Web content creators whose talents we will utilize as we build our next-generation roster of programming verticals.
Also, their distribution strategy of syndicating their content to many video properties rather than force people to visit Wallstrip is in line with the CBS Interactive philosophy."
OK, whatever that means, it was obviously worth $5 million to CBS rather than produce this kind of content themselves. Particularly when you consider that the major networks are like the major BDA’s… Unable to fully understand the new markets and audiences out there, and really slow to do anything about it when they eventually do. Check out today’s episode of Wallstrip and the less than warm greeting they get at CBS headquarters.
Out of the many hundreds of rumours that never cease to swirl around the Google empire, the latest has particular interest for media hacks.
It is reported that the 800 pound gorilla of search is cutting secret deals with several large news organizations on your side of the pond to pay them for the privilege of indexing their content in Google News. The story, which broke in the Scots Sunday Herald claims that Google is "understood" to have signed deals that "are reputedly being kept strictly secret for fear that Google will end up having to pay for similar licences with all of the 4500 news services it carries on its news aggregator," reads the report. "It now seems that Google has accepted it has lost the argument over carrying stories without paying for them."
All of which Google categorically denies. Spokeshack Jessica Powell says, "We don't pay to index news content." Adding, "We have not changed our approach to Google News. We believe it is legal. We index the content of thousands of news sources online. Users see only headlines, snippets and image thumbnails from the relevant news articles. If people want to read the story, they must click through links in our results to the original Web site."
Google has made deals with the Associated Press and Agence France-Presse for permission to use content in ways that go beyond the fair-use provisions of copyright law, so maybe the rumored UK deals are along those lines. But, not only would having to pay simply for the right to link to news stories possibly end up costing Google more money than even they could afford, the consequences for linking anything across the entire Web, are truly scary!
In the interests of promoting both the PSFK London Conference and also myself... I am an AdHo, remember... I would direct you to a wonderful overview from famed Brit/Planner Charles Frith, who makes the case that you should spend some of those millions you make conning the unwashed masses of these Sceptered Isles into buying crap they cannot really afford.
Referring to the recent PSFK New York Conference, I will overcome my innate modesty and quote him... "I'd have paid good money just to see the one and only George Parker speak on that occasion." Who am I to argue with Charles...
All bullshit aside, this is an event well worth attending, unlike so many of the Ad/Marketing/Viral/Guerila/New Media crap conferences people seem happy to cough up tons of dosh for in the hope they are going to hear something new... And all they get are the same old boiler plate pitches for all kinds of wanky new companies... PSFK London will be different. Be there and I'll buy you a pint. Bring a copy of MadScam and I'll buy you a packet of crisps. Cheers/George
A nude car wash, by the name of Bubbles'n'Babes, with X-rated shows and topless girls, has been given the green light by local authorities in Brisbane, Australia. This is happening because, at the moment the never ending drought Down Under makes it illegal for people to wash their own cars. So, if you have a filthy car, why not get it cleaned up while enjoying a bit of raunchy filth?
Even though this is pissing off some of the more prudish residents of Brisbane, Queensland, they’ve been told that they’ll have to put up with the X-rated car wash in their community, because local police and government say no laws are being broken, so it would seem they can't shut the carwash down.
The car wash is the brainchild of a local strip club owner, Warren Armstrong. For 55 Australian dollars ($45) customers get a regular old topless car wash, while a fully nude car wash -- with X-rated floorshow included -- will set a hot-blooded Aussie back a full 100 Oz dollars.
Wonder if that includes a “blow dry” and “body wax?”
Apart from the mediocre stuff like Iraq, blatant corruption, Wolfowitz finally realizing it was time to take his head out of his arse and quit, the really big “news” today is that Paris Hilton won't appeal the 45-day jail term she was sentenced to earlier this month for violating probation, according to court documents filed Thursday. A lawyer for the “Highly Talented” star of screen, TV and barroom table tops notified LA Superior Court that she is abandoning her appeal.
Hilton initially called the sentence unfair, and lawyers representing her filed a notice to appeal the sentence. She then switched attorneys and is now represented by drunken driving specialist Richard Hutton, who it is rumored has told Hilton’s mother to keep her “Pie Hole” firmly shut in future. Hilton will be jailed for about 23 days of a 45-day sentence and will be separated from the general inmate population, authorities decided after reviewing her case.
The shorter sentence reflects an expectation that Hilton behaves behind bars. "All inmates get credit for good behavior," an LA County sheriff's spokesman said Thursday. "The inmate knows that if they behave and follow the rules, that's something to shoot for." So… you get time of for good behavior before you serve any time! Is it just me, or is there something ass-backwards about that?
If you live in the US long enough, you will realize that there are some people you cannot escape being exposed to. So-called "Celebs" like Brittany or Exemplars of Evil like Dick Cheney. But above all others is "The Donald." I've often wondered how Donald Trump gets away with the crap that he does... And I'm not just talking about his hair or his abominable taste in interior and exterior design. No, I'm talking about his so called reputation as a "Super Mogul."
After all, he's already run his chain of casinos into bankruptcy -- twice -- and it now looks like his pathetic venture into the publishing business is heading for the rocks. His magazine, Trump, a quarterly lifestyle book published via a licensing arrangement, is on the verge of financial ruin, according to insiders. "They owe money to everybody, and are being sued every which way," says one, while another claims the title will likely go on hiatus unless he or some other backer comes to the rescue.
The magazine has been around since 2004, when it was launched as Trump World. (No surprise there!) But since last year, its staff has fallen from 25 to single digits. Under the terms of his deal, Trump is supposed to get $135,000 each time an issue is published. And as one commentator notes, "considering how much of his income seems to come from cheesy licensing deals these days, we're sure he's anxious to keep getting those checks."
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I sometimes have to wonder at how much crap the US government and its associated military brass thinks America’s citizens will put up with. The news that the DOD is now blocking access to MySpace and YouTube for service people stationed at any of the 735 military bases America has scattered across the globe, just leaves me slack jawed in amazement.
These are the people who are on their second, third and sometimes fourth tour of duty in hell holes like Iraq and Afghanistan. Many of them have also just had their twelve month tours extended to fifteen months. They use these sites to communicate with their families, and possibly to ease some of the strain they are facing every day, while here in the US we continue to drive our Hummers and do our patriotic duty, as demanded by the Commander in Chief, and carry on shopping.
The most insulting part of the whole affair is the excuse the DOD gives for this curtailment… Apparently MySpace and YouTube are hogging bandwidth and putting too much strain on the defense computer network… That’s right… The network that is supposed to take care of an all out nuclear attack is under stress from YouTube and MySpace.
That’s absolute bullshit… Why don’t they tell the truth, it’s all about censorship and an attempt to stop the viewing of less than favorable video of the disaster taking place in Iraq and Afghanistan? But then, when did the administration of George Bush ever tell the truth about anything?
George Parker
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