For the first time in probably twenty years I watched The Bill on ITV last night. I'd actually pretty much forgotten that is existed but a story in yesterday's Mirror that said that its scriptwriters were looking to hire Caroline Quentin in a bid to boost flagging ratings reminded me of its existence.
It's now one-hour long, has a new more dramatic credits and is obviously quite expensive to produce. It's also not very good.
Once a home for graduates of EastEnders there was a woman in it who used to be in Hollyoaks. June Ackland's gone as has Reg Hollis and DC Carver and Burnside and the only face I remembered was PC Stamp who, judging by the fact that he hasn't been promoted, picked the wrong career.
The acting of Graham Cole who plays Stamp acting was wooden, perhaps reflecting that the show was originally going to be called Wooden Tops, and in a particularly painful scene he delivered a long and tortuous analogy of how the chair that he was trying to fix was similar to the problems that needed fixing on an estate that had been neglected by the police. It was so bad it was funny.
I thought that ITV had revamped The Bill to make it edgier and grittier. It looked like something from a school play. Anyway, as a fan of unintentionally really bad telly I'm hooked. Enjoy the weekend.
