Roman Polanski, Gary Glitter, Jonathan King

Author Robert Harris, film producer Harvey Weinstein and the French government have expressed their outrage over the arrest of Roman Polanski for a crime he committed over thirty years ago and for which he has never served his time.

Harris describes Polanski's treatment as 'disgusting'. The Swiss media, meanwhile, says that the nation should be 'ashamed' for seeking to extradite the film maker back to the US to face conviction for having sex with a 13-year-old girl. The UK media for its part seems somewhat ambivalent about the whole affair.

Don't remember there being so much fuss for other more low-culture paedophiles. The argument that 'it was all a long time ago' has also been used, the irony of which must surely not be lost on Polanski, the son of an Auschwitz victim. The excuse that he didn't know her age is also invalid - he was in his mid-40s at the time.

Either you believe in universal justice or you don't. Polanski has evaded this, illegally, for decades. I'm surprised the tabloids aren't demanding that he be locked up with Glitter, King and the bones of MJ. 'And then throw away the key'.

'Gordon's Alive!'. Or perhaps he's just wired

Was Andrew Marr right to ask Gordon Brown whether he was taking prescription painkillers, in response to internet rumours that he was being treated for depression?

The BBC defends the line of questioning, made during yesterday's The Andrew Marr Show, as a 'legitimate question about the health of the leader of the country'.

While not a massive Brown fan, I don't agree.

Everyone now knows that without copious amounts of brandy and champagne, Churchill, who also famously suffered from depression, would not have led us through the Second World War.

Maggie Thatcher too was a late night whisky drinker, although not to the same extent as Charles Kennedy, while William Gladstone had a penchant for 'rescuing fallen women'. The truth behind Harold Wilson's sudden departure from Number 10 has never been fully revealed, other than rumours that he was suffering from the early stages of dementia.

Brown therefore is allowed his own illnesses, vices or other and to have them treated like anyone else.

The nasty line of questioning is just an indication of how the BBC has fallen out of love with the Labour Party, given that it is also running this touchy-feely campaign to encourage greater understanding of mental health issues.

This leaves the left-leaning Corporation sniping at anyone and everyone - a dangerous place for it and the Labour Party to be.

The big question is not the state of Brown's mental health but his competence and track-record.

ITV drops the Ball. Or he fails to make the Grade. So no new Dawn. Etc.

There. I think that's all the TV management-related cliched headlines that are wheeled out with disappointing regularity.

Personally I'm sorry that Tony Ball won't be joining ITV. While the remuneration package that he reportedly was demanding looked eye-wateringly out of touch with the mood of Brown's austerity Britain, I'm all for rewarding success.

And Ball has proven that he has got the ability - and the fight in him - to deliver this in buckets.

Also, what's so wrong with knowing your worth? BSkyB paid him £10m over three years not to work for a rival so they obviously are aware - and scared - of his talents.

So the opportunity (and perhaps the final one) to breathe life back into ITV and return it to its righful place in the pantheon of successful worldwide media companies has now passed.

And where does that leave it? Possibly with some no-mark ex-retailer that they didn't want and whose only plan is selling it off to a foreign media conglomerate when the economy improves. In fact let's hope his name is in fact Mark (but not Thompson) to keep the headline writers happy.

This week's known knowns, known unknowns and unknown unknowns

This week, our understanding of culture continued to expand. We have learnt that Bruce Forsyth is unpleasant to work with, according to Justin Lee Collins; Chas and Dave have split up; the Telegraph paid over £100k for the leaked MPs' expenses; and that shadow culture secretary wants the BBC to employ more Tories to read the news.

The first one doesn't surprise me - he's been in showbiz for over 70 years and there's clearly something a bit wrong with someone who wears an obvious hairpiece, likes dancing and affects an avuncular manner.

The loss of Dave, meanwhile, was a bit of a shame for anyone over the age of 35 and whose fathers thought that the song Rabbit was uproarously funny - fortunately good old Chas will ensure the show goes on.

The Telegraph's chequebook journalism isn't a surprise either. What is though is that the person they bought the expenses documents off did it because he was 'angry' over the Government's failure to equip the Armed Forces properly.... Really? Even if this was the case, wouldn't it have been more dignified if he'd kept this to himself, pocketed the cash, and done some proper campaigning to get them the equipment they need.

As to the final revelation of the week, well I'm not fussed either way whether it's some awful oily Tory Boy or a 2CV driving bloke with a beard, bad breath and sandals reading me the news. I'll still use my judgment to decide if I believe them or not and self-select what I think are the most important issues are of the day as I should imagine will everyone else.

Oh and we also learnt that Five still can't crack the live TV genre - have you seen Live From Studio Five? Appalling.

Can't wait to see what next week holds. Adam & Joe are back on 6Music by the way.

Holy Carnage - time to swap Deadliest Warrior for Danny Dyer

I've quite enjoyed Bravo's knockabout bit of Tuesday night rubbish TV, Deadliest Warrior. Throwing any pretence of academic rigour to the wind as Bravo is entitled to do, it's taught us that in a series of theoretical (and unrealistic) battles Shaolin Monks are tougher than the Maoris, British Pirates could beat French knights and that Apaches could 'ave Gladiators.

It's pretty harmless hammed-up stuff, with jello torsos and pig carcasses standing in for human bodies and glass balls full of red liquid for human heads, for dramatic effect when they smash. A spurious computer test is then run where a series of battle scenarios are enacted for the winner of the accolade of deadliest warrior. This is all accompanied by some over the top Americans whopping with delight when the animal bones crack and the 'blood' spills.

And yet.... While the lack of realism and absurd lack of historical context and the fact that it features historical figures makes the series fun, a future episode pits the IRA against the Taliban in battle. Not funny - a fact made all the more pressing after watching the harrowing Wounded on BBC1 last night that showed wounded British servicemen trying to overcome horrific injuries sustained at the hands of the Taliban.

Pitching two groups of terrorist - one that was famous for shooting policemen in their beds and the other that is currently not out of the news for the casualties that it is causing on a daily basis - isn't a laughing matter. I'm afraid I've gone off the series now. I never thought I'd say it but bring back Danny Dyer - he can fight anyone.

Lies, damned lies and ITV's 'event TV'

Naughty ITV but clever old Steve Hewlett.

In yesterday's Guardian, the former head of programming at Carlton TV asks whether ITV has been misleading advertisers.

After trawling through the Competition Commission's report on CRR - something that journalists used to do - he observed that ITV was telling two different stories on the power of 'event TV'.

He found that ITV had claimed to advertisers that 'event TV', of which it also said that it showed the majority of, created a greater degree of engagement with viewers and also with advertising content, thereby leading to a greater propensity to purchase.

However ITV told the Competition Commission that this research had flaws and that there was no uplift in sales  or engagement in viewers. In fact it was apparently just for 'marketing purposes'. So that's alright then.

It's difficult not to conclude that either it has or it would tell any old tale to help it get rid of CRR. And if they've lied about this, can advertisers trust anything else that ITV tells them?

Derren Brown can't make me stick to the sofa, so why should Tony Ball

Ashamed to say that I tried to participate in Derren (sic) Brown's mind trick on Channel 4 on Friday night - an insight into my exciting weekend - and that like everyone else I've encountered, it failed.

Even more ashamed to say that I was disappointed so rewinded and tried again before deciding that there were more important things in life to aspire to, like watching the new series of the always excellent Peep Show, where JLB Credit has fallen victim to the economy.

ITV has similarly suffered and investors - as well as many ITV insiders - think that former Sky CEO Tony Ball is its great white hope. But then they also said the same of outgoing executive chairman Michael Grade who, while helping maintain audience share, put too much faith on his 'content-led' recovery thereby putting the broadcaster completely at the mercy of the advertising market when perhaps exploring some pay options might have been a wiser move.

Ball knows that the City wants him to run ITV and he's holding out for a distinctly 'greed is good' salary that is out of sync with the mood of the nation - reports suggest that he wants a package potentially worth £30m over five years.

Is this a realistic remuneration package? As a former Thames TV electrician in the highly unionised TV industry of the early 80s, Ball knows how to negotiate a crazy salary and get away with it. But if he delivers on turning around ITV and getting vewiers and advertisers to stick with the channel and make it a profitable and acquisitive business that it so richly deserves to be then I'd argue that he's worth it.

Ouch. Luke Johnson fires parting shots at Andy Duncan?

Now that Andy Duncan and Channel 4 have finally agreed terms for his departure - a mere £585,000 severance package from the apparently cash-strapped broadcaster - all eyes must turn to who will replace him.

In a particularly revealing comment, Channel 4's chairman, Luke Johnson, said that Duncan's successor 'must have considerable experience of TV. They must have a vision and an understanding of the digital world.... They need to bring different ideas and energy. They need to have stature.'

Whatever can he mean?

ITV's director of programming Peter Fincham is the name being bandied around as the obvious candidate to fill Duncan's trainers. But given that insiders claim that part of the reason that Channel 4's board became dysfunctional was that Duncan clashed with his mercurial head of television, Kevin Lygo, to the extent that their relationship had irretrievably broken down, getting a fellow programmer in as Lygo's boss looks an unlikely move.

Given the changes that are going on at Channel 4 and ITV, it's unlikely that a new chief executive will be appointed any time soon - and possibly not until after Johnson's departure.

With a new chairman - or possibly chairwoman - who may be closer allied to the likely incoming Tory government, Johnson's comments could perhaps be seen as more of a bitchy parting shot at what he considers Duncan's deficiencies rather than the prerequisites for his replacement.

Nobody puts Fred Quilly in the corner

Terrible week for the loss of 80s TV cultural icons - first Felix Bowness who played the embittered riding instructor, Fred Quilly, in Hi-de-Hi and then of course the irreplacable Keith Floyd who poignantly died just hours before Channel 4 showed a documentary of him being visited by his pale imitation Keith Allen.

There's nothing I can add in tribute to Floyd that hasn't already been said but I'm glad that in Keith on Keith, Floyd managed to express his disdain for the cult of celebrity chefs - a title he eschewed himself. Perhaps all those lazy TV commissioners who insist on trawling the kitchens to find someone - anyone - who can cook to bung on the telly and then merchandise from, will reflect on his words.

As for Bowness, he along with Leslie Dwyer who played his chalet room-mate, the cantankerous child-averse (and usually drunk) Punch and Judy man Mr Partridge, were responsible for what on reflection is quite a good comedy couple. Their back stories - along with the rest of the characters including Barry and Yvonne - are particularly entertaining and worth reading on wikipedia.

In the land of the blind - and in product placement - the one-eyed man is king

Should we be getting excited about product placement? Yes. It's good news for advertisers and broadcasters and will finally free television from some of the anomalous shackles that have prevented it exploiting its position while the worlds of brands and entertainment collide.

Finally, brands will be allowed to speak their name in context in TV shows and broadcasters will be able to find a much-needed new revenue stream as the spot model continues to wane (especially good news for ITV).

That's assuming that they can find a way of monetising the combined effect of brand exposure (relatively easy) with editorial context (nigh on impossible) that is palatable to all the stakeholders.

Don't bet against it happening though - product placement and contextual advertising is so important and has such great potential that if it's imperative that an acceptable measurement tool can be found, then it will. Whether it is robust is another matter but who cares? This could be one of the most exciting opportunities in TV since colour.

Lev might live with Elton and David

The weekend's press and television news were full of breathless and uncritical reports on how Sir Elton John wanted to adopt a Ukrainian toddler who had 'stolen his heart'.

At a hastily organised press conference, 62-year old Elton John, who has battled drugs, depression, alcoholism and bulimia, declared that he had always rejected adoption in the past because of his liftstyle and the time he spends on tour.

However, he announced yesterday that after visiting the 14-month-old orphan boy he had altered his views, saying 'I've changed my mind today.' He then confessed that the death of his long-time keyboard player last week had also influenced his decision to seek to adopt a child.

Isn't this straight from the script of Bruno?

Boyle edges closer to porno, claims BBC

This was one of the most popular stories on the BBC News website yesterday and after reading the headline I clicked on the story with a mixture of horror, disgust and morbid fascination.

But then it was a slightly disingenuous headline. The story in fact referred to the fact the director Danny Boyle is considering making a film of the Irvine Welsh novel Porno, which would be the follow-up to his 1996 film Trainspotting. And that's according to Robert Carlyle, rather than Boyle himself.

So not quite as disturbing and therefore interesting as first thought. Still all credit to the headline writer for ensuring that the non-story gets lots of traffic because that's all that counts.

Is the life of a journalist worth that of a soldier?

The fact that two people died - one British para and one Afghan interpreter - rescuing Stephen Farrell, a New York Times correspondent who had been kidnapped after apparently ignoring security advice and venturing into a Taliban stronghold, shows the very worst of journalism and the best of the military.

But I don't think that the army should have bothered risking any lives to rescue the reporter just as I don't think that any British blood is worth spilling in order that Afghan children can go to school or that its inhabitants have the choice to vote, which the majority then chose not to exercise.

I also don't buy the argument that it is in the security interests of Britan that soldiers are dying on a daily basis in Afghanistan given that there seems to be an ever present danger from home grown terrorists and radicalised Muslims.

The New York Times for its part barely mentioned the death of the soldier in its report on Farrell's rescue, which should be to its eternal shame.

Want to shoot grouse with Lord James Percy?

We're already one month into the grouse shooting season while other game including partridge, duck and goose have been legal quarry since the beginning of September. That's probably why it's everyone's favourite time of the year.

But days in the field are hard to come by given the cost and clays aren't the cheapest, or generally most realistic, substitute either.

For those Guns whose guns will be languishing in their cabinets rather than being waved hopelessly around the moors, here's a great replica grouse shooting game from the world's best magazine The Field that might hopefully go some way to making up for this.

The grouse are designed to replicate the season - hard in August, impossible in October. You also can win Barbour shooting kit if you score highly, while Lord James Percy appears on screen to make comments - although I'm yet to get the one written below....

Enjoy.

Jeremy Lee Is Unwell

Not really. But I thought a tribute to Keith Waterhouse had been overlooked.

It must have been an exciting night for those people who went to the TV Quick and TV Choice awards last night. According to the BBC's website, it's unrealistic soap opera depiction of East London, EastEnders, picked up three gongs for its ludicrous storylines. If you weren't aware, particularly gripping was the one where Danielle was apparently killed in a road accident shortly after telling Ronnie that she was her mother.

While I don't doubt the high incidence of RTAs in East London and I'm sure there is ample evidence of 'complicated' family trees, where are the stories about the crack dens, the gang fights and the shankings?

It seems to me that EastEnders, with its sentinental, unrealistic and simplistic view of life in one of the poorest parts of London does little more than provide a job opportunity for annoying graduates of Sylvie Young. In good news though, now that The Bill has toughened up its image at least they won't land a job on that show anymore.

And the esteemed judges from TV Quick and TV Choice did show that they had some sense and gave The Inbetweeners a prize too.