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Why Microsoft will never be cool 

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So Microsoft is making a bid to be cool. Can it really ever make it? In a word no. Microsoft is never going to be cool, Jerry Seinfeld or not.

 

The truth is that Microsoft has never been cool and it never will be. It produces very good, but quite dull software. Windows Vista, Windows XP, Excel and word. Previously it has always been "cool" to hate Microsoft, particularly in relation to Apple.

 

It makes huge takeover bids. Behemoth-like $33bn bids for Yahoo! That's not cool. Neither is Yahoo! for that matter. It's just big business. It might work for Apple, but Apple is different and it always has been.

 

In its early days Apple was seen as almost a rebel brand, which appealed to a community of creatives and geeks. And in design terms, Apple was the technology that was made for creative people: journalists, designers, programmers, writers; people who had a less mainstream take on life. The company built up a strong following as a result.

 

But Apple wasn't just about appearances. The most important thing about Apple was what it wasn't. It wasn't another IBM. It wasn't Microsoft. People saw it was offering something different - something that complemented a less corporate-driven lifestyle.

 

Of course, personalities were involved. While a cult grew up around Steve Jobs, Bill Gates was seen by Apple's users as an antichrist figure. In their eyes, he was the head of a massive company that wanted to take over the world, that wanted its stuff on every desktop.

 

They always thought Steve Jobs was fighting from the other corner. They thought he was bringing diversity to their desktop, and to their world.

 

Microsoft might make the Xbox, but there is a dissociative relationship between its games platform and the rest of the company - its Microsoft Office software that we all use everyday. The Xbox, with great titles like Halo, does not feel connected to the rest of the Microsoft brand. If the company could address that issue and bring together the disparate parts of the business it might have a chance, but it will be very hard.

 

It simply doesn't have the kind of cheerleaders that Apple attracts who weirdly worship at the temple of Steve Jobs. Apple is also blessed, whatever you think of it and I am no fan, with impressive design. Design is cool, it transcends its geekdom.

 

Besides what other computer firm gets a hidden message planted in a book and written in binary as Douglas Coupland did with an ode the Apple Lisa in Microserfs a book about Microsoft, which is portrayed as having a feudalistic structure, with Bill Gates as its lord and the employees as "Microserfs".

 

* On page 104-105 there is an encoded binary message that reads, when decoded:  "I heart LiSA Computers."

 

More than that though, I mean Jerry Seinfeld? Hey I like the show as much as anyone else. he is as funny as hell, but he isn't cool.

 

He is funny and safe. He is the kind of person that a large corporation chooses. A large corporation like Microsoft. I'm not sure they could choose anyone who could get the job done. Not event the A-Team.

 

 
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Comments

August 21, 2008 12:32 PM
 

I agree that it's questionable if Microsoft has 'cool' products in the same way that Apple's products are pretty and look lovely. But I'm not sure this will be an issue in the near future. Computing is fundamentally changing. Microsoft has said it is pursuing a strategy of developing an open-source, cloud computing style business model. And in these economically challenging times, consumers will perhaps care less about 'cool' as they adopt more frugal shopping habits. In short, whether you're cool or not will matter less.

 
 
August 21, 2008 2:45 PM
 

I'm not so sure.

As Kevin Kelly from wired pointed out, ten years ago the notion of Google Maps & Wikipedia wasn't credible. Who would take the pictures? Who edit the information? Who has time? Who would pay for it? At the time it just didn't stack up. It was 'impossibe'. But things change, and things change so freakin quickly these days.

If you go into the Apple store here in NY it's just full of pissed off people whose things don't work and are waiting for a genius. There is only so much love if your iPhone or Macbook Pro is consistently digging your ribs.

With Bill Gates gone, doing his charity thing (philanthropy IS cool these days and will increasingly be so) I wouldn't mind putting an outside bet on Microsoft.

 
 
August 21, 2008 2:46 PM
 

'It produces very good, but quite dull software', does it?

It's the market leader but is it ‘very good’? I have spoken to programmers who are now in their 60s. They remember the fall of IBM and the rise of Microsoft and their take is that Microsoft has always excelled at marketing and acquisitions and that its software is in fact 2nd rate.

Still not cool though.

 
 
August 21, 2008 3:01 PM
 

@David Good point, I remember when way back when I worked on Computing and would write about operating systems IBM's OS2 was superior to Windows, but better marketing one out.

But generally (and it has had long enough to refine it) I find using Word, Excel and to a lesser degree powerpoint, not much of a trial.

 
 
August 21, 2008 7:43 PM
 

They've got some really cool people working there..........apparantly! :-)

 
 
August 22, 2008 10:11 AM
 

The big guy is never cool.

He may be many things (good & bad but never cool). Cool is edgy, unde the radar, disruptive...to be mainstream is to be none of these things. Is Apple cool? Yes, because they epitomise the above attributes. Will they always be cool? Not necessarily. Look at Google, they were cool for sure, 'doing no evil' and all. Are they still cool? No. They have become so big and mainstream they are now see as much of a devil as Microsoft. It's the natural cycle of things.

So, NO, Microsoft is not cool and never will be. But that isn't necessarily a problem. Most people aren't cool so if you fit your market, that aint a bad thing imho.

 
 
August 22, 2008 2:58 PM
 

Hmmm. Come on people be a little more imaginative please?

Apple was not cool until the iPod came out. Really, admit it, a very small amount of creative types used their products but it was certainly not 'mainstream cool'. And at this point we could have a debate about 'what cool means' but some other time.

Apple's iPod opened them up to a new (mainstream) generation that thought they were cool. It's no longer cool, or hip, or different - whatever we mean - to own an iPod. It's not cool to have those crappy white headphones.

A decade before that Sony Walkman was the only cool portable music brand. Where are they now? Of course it's not all about portable music. The Zune is certainly not cool but that's Microsoft's first consumer electronic product. Apple bought out the Newton before the iPod / iPhone and that was a disaster. But there would be no iPod without Newton. Starting the process is the important bit. Microsoft are well placed to do this.

They also do lots of little things like sponsoring Boing Boing web TV shows that most people don't notice. And these are certainly cool. Of course they hired Crispin Porter and have got Jerry Seinfeld which is sort of obvious but they also have Will Ferrel on board and are doing lots of other things.

I'll wait and see. I just think it's extremely blinkered and easy to state de facto that just because they are big and have a nerdy upbringing they can't do something cool.

(And no I don't have any Microsoft stock!)

 
 
August 22, 2008 3:30 PM
 

I agree with James. I wouldn't write Microsoft off. Added to all of the reasons outlined above, they clearly have a massive appetite and determination for this. I think Will Ferrell is an inspired signing as well - edgy but still mainstream.

 
 
August 22, 2008 5:20 PM
 

If you want cool try: http://photosynth.net

 
 
August 24, 2008 4:20 PM
 

Cool? What as an alternative to good? Or successful? The Fonz was cool. He was lying on a garage floor all day fixing cars all day and earning so little he had to live in a Granny flat. Cool requires you to be aloof and make decisions different from the mainstream. Apple users are always cheer-leading their product because they know they paid too much for it.  

 
 
August 26, 2008 11:19 PM
 

I was going to leave this one alone but out comes the Creativity Top Awards list for 2008. Which client wins the most points, beating Sony? Yup you guessed it, Big Bill's Barmy Army.

http://coops.tumblr.com/

QED my friends. Suck it up. ;-)

 
 
August 27, 2008 9:09 AM
 

I don't believe it. What is this based on? Besides "the Creativity Awards" is not the same thing as cool.

@Peter Hayes, I think your comment about "Apple users are always cheer-leading their product because they know they paid too much for it" is spot on. I put a side small portion of time each day to laugh at the suckers who spent all that cash on over priced, under performing products.

 
 
August 27, 2008 9:13 AM
 

Gordon come on, you are living in an alternate wrld, I have a MacBook Pro and it is a thing of beauty. It is cool to the nth degree - as tech goes.

Microsoft is a world a way from this level of technological design excellence. James, I also do not believe in Award lists. No way.

 
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Gordon Macmillan

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