Tabloid doom

In a hilarious piece of selective forecasting in the Evening Standard today, Roy Greenslade predicts the death of certain tabloid newspapers, but failed to mention one key one. Now why could that be?Greenslade kicks off by writing about how newspapes will prevail "once online enthusiasm dies down".

I wouldn't have quite put it like that, I don't see enthusiasm of the pace of digital development dying down, but at the same time I do not see newspapers dying either.

He's right when he points in his piece for the appetite to print, be it in form of our dailies, our free papers or even free magazines.

Sure not all of the print world will survive, but we have lost national and regional newspapers before the advent of the web and we will lose more we forward.

He goes onto make strong claims about the demise of the redtops and the Daily Express, which in a gossip obsessed age seems well wide of the mark. Yes they have lost readers, but the Sun enjoyed a circulation increase of 0.69% from May to 3,064,376. Averaged out over six months, the News International title sells 3,073,046 daily copies, down 2.86% year on year.

The Daily Mirror also experienced a slight rise in circulation in June, up 0.71% from May to 1,565,711. But it suffered one of the worst year-on-year falls of all the national papers -- its six-month average is 1,561,825, a year-on-year decline of 5.54%.

Yes both suffered year-on-year falls, but between them they sell almost 5m copies (more than 5m if you throw in the Daily Star). The Daily Star alone (795,891) outsells the Independent (surely in five years that will be all views and no news?) and The Guardian. Not exactly desertion.

However, while he predicts the problem will get worse, and of course it will, he only picks out the Express as the probably casualty of the so called "doomed" titles.

It is easy to see why. The Daily Express (Greenslade separates it from its mid-market rival the Associated owned Daily Mail) was up 0.58% on May to 770,403 in June. But its year-on-year circulation decline is the worst of all the national papers, down 8.79% with a six-month average of 764,575.

It is suffering, but its fate is as much linked to its proprietorship, in Richard Desmond, as much as anything else. It is a strong newspaper brand. Sadly it’s a bad newspaper.

Yes there is much doom, but surely Roy, if one paper more than any other is under threat it is the one you are writing in the Evening Standard under assault from three free sheets, one free sports mag and a men's mag as well.

The Standard's full-rate sales are down to a lowly 198,601 -- this in the world's capital city -- and the Standard's six-month average circulation is down 16.99% year-on-year.

If ever there was a sick man of newspapers, the Standard is your paper. Greenslade makes a projection over five years. I would project those figures.

The perfect men's magazine

With Mike Soutar announcing plans for a free men's weekly magazine there has been a lot of speculation about what kind of magazine it might be and whether it poses a serious challenge to the paid-for men's titles.

We have spent much time around Haymarket talking about it. Craig Smith wrote on his blog yesterday that given that it will be edited by "Phil Hilton, former editor of Nuts, and is expected to compete with the paid-for weeklies, expect the sort of titillation that, when I was entering that age group, could only be found on the top shelf".

The market it is targeting of 18-35 year olds suggests Smith is right. It is the same audience that Nuts and Zoo is aimed at although, if it turns out be acres of flesh with picture captions, it will be a wasted opportunity.

This is because there is an opening with the development of the men’s market to produce something better and more interesting - yes that's right, I am talking about the all-elusive intelligent men's magazine.

What is that exactly? Well, ‘Sport’ offers a glimpse into what this might be. I'm not a terrific sports fan and really have no interest in surfing, sailing, F1 or cricket for that matter, but the magazine has plenty of words with big-name interviews featuring decent pictures spread over three or four pages.

It also has plenty of decent ad pages and has attracted a variety of major brands Mazda, Dolce Gabbana, RBS, Sony Erricsson and Toyota. Today's issue for instance has a BMW cover wrap. These are not bargain basement advertisers.

It points the way for a slightly older intelligent market. We all know Nuts is read by school kids and, if it has many readers over the age of 25, then my guess is that they are mentally challenged…wait that could also describe readers of Maxim as well.

There are other magazines out there doing interesting things and still going strong. Uncut, for instance, but really it is too much about the music and geeky with it too. It always seems to be full of stuff on Bob Dylan. I own a lot of Dylan, but don't really want to read about it.

So what I am suggesting, what I think would work is geeky, but not too geeky, cool, but not too cool. Affordable and not outrageously expensive – I mean I read GQ, but really I know it is aimed at investment bankers.

A mix of music and TV and film, and yes, some sport and fitness as well, fashion, architecture and, yes, some politics and books.

It means also that you don't put some girl in her underwear on the cover every week…actually any week. Women on the front page sure, but in a relevant way. Jessica Alba promoting the Fantastic Four is not a problem (although the Silver Surfer is better – maybe pushing the geek barometer up there), but she doesn't need to be in a bikini does she?

There are other ingredients I'm sure, but what do people want to read? 

Tabloid stars

Sometimes you can not beat the front page of a British tabloid. Today's frontpage of The Sun with its David Beckham headline is one such example and the Daily Mirror with its take on the BBC story is another.

It appears to sum up Beckham's expression perfectly, but really what did he expect? I'm sure it can't be all that bad can it?

The Sun's BBC headline isn't bad either, but I think the subs at the Daily Mirror beat them on this one with their take on the BBC phone scandal.

McDonald's CEO says he can't leave the kids alone

I have to be careful here or McDonald's will come down on me with a one ton burger of legal fun, but CEO Jim Skinner says he can't stop advertising at children. He just can't leave them alone.

The world' largest purveyor of junk food, of fatty crap, that helped turn America (not to mention the UK and elsewhere) into a nation of obese sugar-addicted, unhealthy individuals, has rejected the idea cutting back on advertising to children.

He comes across like a corporate paedophile, like the child catcher from "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang".

Under the guise of promoting physical activity, McDonald's will continue to target children.

"The idea that some people would have us go dark on communications to kids is a mistake because the communication needs to be positive," McDonald's CEO Jim Skinner told Reuters.

Skinner was also unhappy that chief happiness officer and company mascot, Ronald McDonald, was compared by some to Joe Camel, the Camel cigarette mascot pulled from ads for Camel cigarettes after drawing the ire of regulators for appealing to children.

How could he take issue? McDonald’s has a clown because it wants to target kids. It wants them to eat burgers, fries and milkshake as often as possible. It might say take a walk, but it’s take a walk with a Big Mac.

"Ronald McDonald has never sold food to kids in the history of his existence," Skinner said.

It doesn't matter that in recent months, McDonald's dumped mention of food from websites aimed at children - http://www.happymeal.com and http://www.ronald.com kids' – and is pushing physical activities, it is still targeting children. Same thing with its recent tie-up with 'Shrek the Third'. The fast-food giant is not a charity and while it might have used Shrek to push its healthier menu items (apple slices and low-fat milk) it still wants those kids through the door.

"Most of our websites and the communications we have with kids is all about activity. They know they can count on us to help them as opposed to simply hawking food to them."

What planet is Skinner on? Burger Giant Planet. BGP. Sounds a bit like BFG. Wait that gives me an idea *gets script writing note pad*...

UPDATE: I concede Rory. Enjoy your lunch. Those cheesy breadcrumb gooey things look very appetising.

Va Va boom

That iconic Renault Clio ad is never going to look quite the same as its renowned 'Anglophile' star not only dumps his club, but his missus as well.

According to reports, the split came after his wife Nicole (ne Claire) Merry found incriminating photos on his phone. Hey Bobby, how do you say 'love rat' in English? Oh wait…

The former Arsenal player has taken his Va Va voom to Barcelona and said in a statement: "I had to get away from everything English, including my wife, unfortunately. It's a very sad time for all of us, but you've got to know when to move on."

So much for the English-loving Henry - I guess next we'll find out he's a huge fan of Hispanic culture.

The successful series of ads that ‘gentleman’ Henry starred in and met his English model wife Nicole Merry are history, and it looks like he will not be making a reprise. Who is going to watch Henry now? Possibly not even Arsenal fans, given that they are likely to have the worse season for a while this coming year after his departure.

For model Merry, who changed her modelling name from Claire to Nicole after her television character, she never made it as an actress, but she is still in demand modelling wise.

Still, we'll be seeing Henry again and not just on the pitch, as he has signed up as the face of fashion brand Tommy Hilfiger. He's going to be the global brand ambassador to feature in marketing and advertising activity next year.

As part of the deal, Tommy Hilfiger will release a Thierry Henry collection and the footballer will be involved in promotional activity campaigns in the spring and autumn.

Renault replaced Henry in the Publicis-created Renault Clio TV ads with a British man and a French woman (Ben and Sophie) debating the merits of French and British culture. No news of a wedding yet.

Oddly, the Renault ads have a marital history. In real life we have Henry and Merry who, of course, met on the set. Just as famously the long-running Nicole and Papa ads culminated in Nicole's wedding to Vic Reeves at the launch of Clio II in May 1998. Of course, there was no happy ending in that case either after Nicole jilted Vic at the altar and ran off with Bob Mortimer.

Google takes a swipe at Viacom/talks Facebook

It's getting heated in the legal battle between Google and Viacom over YouTube copyright violations as the Google chief takes a swipe at 'lawyer'-run firms.
Google, of course, is being sued for $1bn by Viacom over copyright infringement where users have uploaded Viacom content (from Paramount and MTV) onto YouTube. The shows involved include the likes of 'The Daily Show with John Stewart' and 'South Park'.

Google CEO Eric Schmidt, speaking with reporters at a hotel bar at the 25th annual Allen & Co moguls meeting, did not mince his words.

"Viacom is a company built from lawsuits, look at their history. Look who they hired as CEO, Philippe Dauman, who was the general counsel for Viacom for 20 years," Schmidt said.

Schmidt made reference to a previous multibillion-dollar suit where Viacom sued Time Warner for $2.4bn in a cable war between HBO and Viacom's Showtime.

The suit looks likely to go ahead, which is bad business. Lawyers are always bad business. Viacom should take the cash on offer and work out a revenue-sharing deal. It makes perfect sense rather than wasting everyone's time with lawyers, but I guess if you are a lawyer (like Dauman)... then it doesn't seem so much like wasting time.

Schmidt also talked about Facebook (no, they are not in talks to buy it) and said that ultimately the surge in social networks was good for Google (what's not?).

Although what he does want to see is sites like Facebook opened up to search. Facebook recently opened up to an application revolution as I wrote earlier this week, but it is still a closed community for search engines, because the pages are not indexed.

But with Google co-founder Sergey Brin (at the same event) talking about how the search giant was interested in talking with Facebook (but not buying -- because it does not appear Facebook will be selling, I mean, would you?) about potential ties that could change. It makes perfect sense to allow the search firms in -- although it does further extend their reach, but I don't think that is anything to be concerned about. It frees up content and brings more traffic, so everyone should be a winner.

"If they come to us, we'd certainly be open to talking. But I think they're building a great company of their own."

That said, Facebook could still be sold although the price tag will be billions in the plural rather than the $900m Yahoo! was considering last year before those talks unravelled.

There is no doubt that Google would like it, but Microsoft is said to be very interested as well. There could be other buyers -- it is such a powerful property as its membership grows and grows. Since May it has put on 5m users, jumping from 24m to more than 29m. But let’s remember, Murdoch made the smartest of buys for (a mere) $580m he has the 90m strong MySpace.

The Facebook factory

While the second internet boom has settled and, for now at least, there might not be billions to be made, there is still a lot of buying going on, but it’s the small stuff and a lot of it is happening around Facebook.

You've seen them. Those little applications that Facebook is allowing developers to create. And all of this only started in May when Facebook opened the floodgates, with 1,700 applications having been developed since then.

That surge is applications has, of course, been matched by a surge in users. It’s the talk of the town and it gives those developers an instant audience for their work.

The Zombie applications have you been bitten? I've resisted this one and lots of others. There's the Super Poke app, the Gift App and the Fortune Cookie app as well. My fortune cookie today is: Recognition will come from unexpected sources".  Its all sub Yoda no substitute for the real thing.

There are load more some of which I have no idea what they do: the Super Wall app? And do you really need Poke Pro as well as Super Poke? Your guess is as good as mine.

It is a mini industry of development and those behind these little applications, while not being the next Larry Page or Sergey Brin and winning themselves untold billions of dollars, are being snapped up all the same by firms looking to high top young developers.

Max Levchin, founder and chief executive of San Francisco software developer Slide, told Reuters: "There's this giant competition for brilliant young developers. Facebook is this instant leader board of who's best at user engagement and technical ability."

Levchin's Slide earlier this week acquired SuperPoke, which is one of the top 10-most-popular programs on Facebook. Not only that, but it hired the three-strong student team behind it. Slide had already bought another Facebook app last month with Favourite Peeps.

"That really opened us up to the calibre of people you could meet through this filter of watching who was building successful Facebook applications," Levchin said.

It isn't going to stop anytime soon either. Like Xerox Parc for social media this week, Bay Partners, a Menlo Park venture capital firm, created AppFactory, a programme to fund what it says will be 10s of different Facebook application projects.

It's all reminicent of Po Bronson's 1998 novel The First 20 Million Dollars Is Always the Hardest, which is well worth a read (along with Douglas Coupland's Microserfs) for anyone interested in the workings of Silicon Valley.

GQeschew

What is with GQ? I know it's doing OK numbers wise, but who does it think its readers are? I only ask after thumbing the latest issue, which has 13 pages dedicated to super pouty actress Jessica Alba.

The 26-year-old is the girl of the moment, last few moments, and maybe a couple more to come, but do you really need 11 pages of pictures of her? I have to say I'm wondering.

The coverline drools "We waited all year for this ". No, they are not kidding, with 11 pages of pictures of the fabulous pouty Alba who has been in a series of unforgettable movies, the 'Fantastic 4' films being the latest popcorn flicks.

The message from most of these films, as the photo shoot reveals, is that (like a lot of attractive women) she looks great with not much on. It’s a no-brainer.

The pictures are accompanied by a terrible, blithering, short, two-page celebrity interview. The writer comes over like a teenager. I'm imaging the original copy was really terrible. It must have been. It isn't a problem. I mean it’s an interview with a 26-year-old actress. They talk about dating and her movies and, well, what else is there to say. It's why she is 90% about the pictures and 10% about the words.

The pictures, btw, include a three-page gatefold cover. Overkill? It seems that way and I haven't even mentioned some of the lines that are printed on the pictures themselves. I spilt my coffee over this one: "Jessica is sexually devastating. A force that can not be denied". No, seriously that is what it says. It is not a quote, someone actually decided to write that. Sexually devastating? What does that even mean? Is this meant to reflect the writer's state of mind after the interview? Who knows.

I write all of this because I always thought that GQ was meant to be a little more upmarket in comparison to Maxim, FHM and Loaded, when clearly it's not.

It's the same every month. Last time it was    
Rosario Dawson on the bonnet of a car - like some down market boy racer magazine. I'm not knocking Dawson. She's great - loved her in 'Clerks II'.

In its most recent ABC, the Conde Nast glossy reported flat sales (in a rocky market to be fair) with circulation up 0.6% period on period to 127,505 copies. Its year-on-year figure increased 1%.

In such a flesh-obsessed market, it would be nice to get something a little more grown up. Maybe that is asking for too much.