1982 and all that

It's always the small things. The BBC is to axe is Falkland Island radio service after 62 years in the name of progress. It only costs a few thousand pounds a year to produce the twice weekly 15 minutes broadcasts, which go out on Tuesday and Friday evenings on the World Service. That's just 30 minutes a week, but apparently they have to go.


Admittedly, with TV and broadband access, the Falkland radio service no longer plays the central role that it used to in the life of islanders, but there still seems to be a place for it.

 In 1982 when Argentina invaded the distant South Atlantic islands, and when everyone was mildly surprised to realise that they were not in fact in Scotland, the service was the only real link the islands had to the UK throughout the launch of the Taskforce, the invasion and swift liberation.

The Times, today quoted Norma Edwards, an islander who served for 20 years as a councillor saying how much the service would be missed: "It will be greatly missed. We may have television now, but still a lot of people tune in. During the conflict it was the mainstay of the people — it's where everybody got their information from."

All for just a few grand when the BBC casual wastes of millions of pounds on the likes of the likes of Davina McCall (please tell me what's she for?) and certain overpaid executives. Did someone say Alan Yentob?

In true BBC style there has been zero consultation. So much for license payers getting a say. Okay, so I turned into my dad and, really, I apologise for that, but it seems a shame. 

posted by Gordon @ 1:15 PM 0 comments links to this post  

Thursday, February 23, 2006

No tits, no balls and no newspaper

The sad but inadvertently amusing story of the News on Sunday aired last night on BBC Four, documenting the universally disastrous attempt by the British left to launch a mass-circulation tabloid newspaper in 1987.
The idea was to give an alternative voice to rival the Rupert Murdoch and Robert Maxwell press and, very promisingly, it started out so well as an unlikely group of left-wingers managed to raise £6.5m.

Beginning by appointing people on the basis of politics and political correctness, the paper ended up with a launch team that included an editor who never edited a tabloid newspaper and a marketing director who knew nothing about marketing ("but I think it's the kind of thing you pick up").

The paper's news editor got his job because he was a young black journalist giving him more cadre points than the white lesbian who was qualified for the job.

Everybody fell out and no one was quite sure what they were trying to produce. Its editor Keith Sutton wanted a kind of leftish Sun while editor-in-chief wanted a worthy and weighty informed political read. No surprise that they got nothing.

Bartle Bogle Hegarty were appointed in a further clash of cultures. The agency came up with a great gutsy tagline "No tits, but a lot of balls".

While the line summed up why the paper wasn't The Sun, the feminists onboard hated the line and it was rejected in place of something a little more watered down - kind of like the whole project.

 With a dire first issue (frontpage splash was a story of a man selling his kidney… in Brazil) sales went from 500,000 (800,000 had been the break-even point) to 200,000.

There might not have been time for the kind of tabloid humour that readers want (left-wing or right), but at least there was time to take the staff on a much needed deafness awareness course prior to launch.

The paper did at least give rise to a very good book, 'The Rise and Fall of the News on Sunday'. 

Ken and the Evening Standard

The Evening Standard must be breaking out the bubbly tonight after getting its man – even if he does happen to be London's mayor.

 I hope Ken Livingstone does appeal against the decision of the disciplinary panel, which has found him guilty of bringing his office into disrepute. It's unelected and has no place in removing a democratically elected mayor from his job even if it is only for a temporary four week period.

That said, the situation would not have come to this new low if Ken grew up and apologised for an ill judged off the cuff remark comparing the Jewish Standard reporter, Oliver Finegold, to a German concentration camp guard.

He was clearly in the wrong and if it had been another paper there probably would have been an apology forthcoming, but because it was the Standard, London's unchallenged and, sometimes wanting newspaper, that was never going to happen. There's too much bad blood between the mayor and the capital's only newspaper. Routemaster buses are more likely to be brought back. Talking of which...

These two really need to bury the hatchet somewhere other than each other. The whole thing only underlines the need for another London newspaper. Like a choice of candidates Londoners also needs a choice of local newspaper. 

Sleaze or PR wheeze?

Is it just us or does the whole Bam Bam and Faceless podcast smack of a PR stunt? The Kiss 100 breakfast show has been getting great mileage from the intimate diary of a London university student, which has become a hit on iTunes.
Only Bam Bam knows her identity and each week, she calls a voicemail server and leaves a message for the him. The DJ (researcher) then transcribes her words and runs it through a voice synthesiser.

 The updates reveal her calorie-counting encounters with her boyfriend ("The Body") and intimate thoughts about sex, lesbian encounters and her parents.

Maybe it is the real deal, there is a something of a hint that the whole thing is a fake and fictional, in the same way that Belle de Jour, the blog of a London call girl, "written by an anonymous prostitute", turned to out largely to be a fake ticket to a book deal and TV drama.

The likes of Sarah Champion, Toby Young, Lisa Hilton and Isabel Wolff were all tapped as possible authors of Belle de Jour, but while no one owned up, no one believed it was real either.

Is Faceless more of the same? Well, some of the entries are so banal as to be real and you have to wonder at the tone, for instance:

"I got a text from the Body saying: 'Do you want to come around?' He told me he was drunk, so I thought it would be quite fun."

OK…

Or this Valentines day entry, she gets two cards, but not, she fears, one from the Body.

"I'm petty sure neither are from the Body. He sent me a text saying 'Happy Valentines Day bitch'. So I replied 'Happy Valentines Day Sweetheart. We call each other nasty names, and it's annoying me'."

So is it the real thing? 

Empty Arena

After the drubbing most lads mags took in the ABCs last week, Emap's Arena was one of the few magazines to show a rise, up 5.6% to 49,296 in the last six months more than 11% on the year.

A magazine that has been in decline for years seems to have arrested some of its fall. It's not difficult to work out why. It now just apes the competition and is virtually indistinguishable from its bigger-selling rivals.

 With its nine pages devoted to Tess "blonde in underwear of the moment" Daly, six pages devoted to an erotic Agent Provocateur film, not to mention cover lines crying out for attention "Sex talk: Could you say no to Lolita" followed by "My Dominatrix hell", you can see where it's all going.

Oh there is a "World Exclusive" interview with former daytime presenter and sex weirdo John Leslie. By world exclusive, I take it they were joking as clearly no one cares.

Arena is something like a poor man's GQ/FHM wannabe. It wants to be one or the other, but is sort of adrift, seeking a role without any ideas of its own, which explains (circulation rise or not) why it sells less than 50,000 copies a month.

But at least the magazine can do one thing with gusto, sadly that's glibness masquerading as controversy.

What were they were thinking by including British Fascists in the list of people who need to "Smile" in the five page (a Philipa Page special) feature. The British Fascist entry begins "Loathsome as they maybe…" and really it should just stop there.

All this from a magazine that styles itself as "The smartest men's style magazine in the world".

The cheeseborgs are coming

Looks like whatever agency has the Leerdammer cheese advertising account gave the copywriting job to the office Trekkie. That can be the only excuse for the tagline "Resistance is futile".
Actually there's no excuse and one can only hope that the creative team behind the tired effort, with a woman seeing her therapist about a cheesy problem (ending with therapist jumping over the desk and grabbing the cheese: yawn), is assimilated into new lines of work forthwith.

 I know that "Resistance if futile" is used quite widely, but even not Star Trek geeks know where the line comes from -- cue excuse for picture of former Borgette Jerry Ryan, who is currently appearing as a baddie con artist in 'The OC'.

But please only click on that link above if you have plenty of minutes to waste as you will find yourself sucked into a world taking you through Daleks, Cybermen, Douglas Adams, not to mention the 2001/2002 internet phenomenon "All your base are belong to us". Like I said, think clearly before you click, believe me, I know.

One chicks and kicks video to go

While I've often suspected that the amount of time creatives sometimes spend dreaming up new campaigns adds up to not a lot, Beattie McGuiness Bungay's new cinema and TV ad for French Connection takes that to a new heights.

Looks like Trevor Beattie spent actually, erm, zero time working on the ad. The spot is a virtual shot-for-shot remake of a Groovecutters music video made using the same actresses and the same director, Duncan (David Bowie's son) Jones. Hell it even uses the same location.

The single charted in the top 40 last year and having seen both, there's nothing between them, although the Grovecutters video is a tad less violent (possibly because of the lack of kicks and punches landing and nil sound effects), but otherwise it’s the same right down to the girl getting covered in oil (gratuitous pic for so featured) and the lesbian kiss.

  According to Kev Keane from Grovecutters: "It's such a rip off. I am not even sure if FCUK know how much of a copy it is. Would they have approved it if they knew it was not specially created for them to spearhead their £2m campaign?"

Good question, no doubt BMB amended their bill to French Connection accordingly.

Apparently Grovecutters' label Nebula (Virgin/EMI) are none too happy about the video being reshot for French Connection and are considering legal action. Watch this space.

A thank you from Al Jazeera

A little phone call of thanks from Al Jazeera today following Brand Republic's story yesterday about The Times getting its websites confused.
No small thing either. The Times published an apology on its leader page this morning.

Apology: Al Jazeera

A leading article yesterday referred to comments on the Al Jazeera website relating to the use of images of abuse by British troops. The Al Jazeera television network has no connection with that particular website (www.aljazeera.com ) and has a separate website (www.aljazeera.net ), which did not carry the same inflammatory comments. We apologise to Al Jazeera for this mistake.

OK, I know I'm blowing our own trumpet, but what else am I supposed to do with it. Second thoughts, don't answer that question.

The Times and the real Al Jazeeratimes

I was nodding my way through The Times leader this morning which was, I thought, rightly saying how the media was exaggerating and exploiting the story about British soldiers mistreating Iraqis, and in particular Al-Jazeera, which has shown the video helping to inflame sentiment.

It's nothing new, of course, Al Jazeera has at every opportunity pulled news stunts like this before. The station made its name following 9/11, when it had exclusive footage of Osama bin Laden. Durin the invasion of Iraq, it showed images of dead and captured British and American soldiers during the war, provided to it by the Iraqi regime.

 On its website, it has a section headline "Iraq under occupation". It's not exactly your traditional Western news organisation. It's very unimpartial, that's its bag. Soon to be the bag of Sir David Frost and the BBC's Rageh Omar who are both Al Jazeera-bound.
The Times today, however, went a little further, labelling Al Jazeera as the "supposedly prestigious Al Jazeera network".

It then cited examples it had read on the Al Jazeera website yesterday: "For example, the story was laid out under the thoroughly neutral headline: 'Another episode in ‘Iraq War Crimes’ series'. It sat alongside a chat room hosted by a Dr Kareem entitled 'Let’s Talk' which featured questions for “debate' including: 'Britain will learn a bitter lesson along with the US not only in Iraq but in Iran very soon' and 'Let Sharon’s painful death be the punishment for his crimes!' and 'Would you sentence Sharon, Blair or Bush to death?'. Sir David Frost, the station’s new signing, might wish to be aware of the unsavoury company that he is keeping."

Frost would surely want to be aware of all of this on the Al Jazeera website, if in fact it was the Al Jazeera website The Times was getting steamed up about. However, it isn't.

Al Jazeera operates Arabic- and English-language websites. Its English language website at http://english.aljazeera.net, however, should not be confused with Aljazeera.com, an unrelated English language website that publishes news and opinion pieces of an inflammatory nature about current affairs in the Middle East, where Dr Kareem and his ilk are located. If only someone had told The Times.

Somebody get someone a lawyer.

Do you Podcast?

If you hadn't already guessed podcasting is this year's blogging. So have you podcasted yet? What do you mean you haven't even got your Blogger account up and running yet?



Really I should be podcasting this myself so you can download it onto your PC…and then upload it on to your MP3 player once you've synched with your PC. By MP3 player I mean your iPod – what do you mean you haven't got one? Are you some kind of Neanderthal?

I'm sort of digressing. I just did another spot survey and found that really, while sort of interested in Podcasting, (this translated as we downloaded several Rick Gervais shows and listened to at least one), no-one really can work up the enthusiasm to do much about it.

  But if you looked at the frenzy of activity that isn't the impression you get. Various national newspapers such as the Guardian, Daily Telegraph (which has a podcasting editor) and the BBC to name a few are doing work in the area.

The BBC today announced 29 more radio shows are to join its trial. Count them, one, two.... You'll now be able to get hourly news bulletins, Woman's Hour not to mention highlights from BBC Two's Newsnight. That's right Paxman on your iPod…scary.

But why do we need Paxman on our iPod anyway, when he's on TV and on BBC online already. The real interest is individual podcasters who, like bloggers, could, maybe, add something new to the media mix

So far though, I know people are doing it and it's really great to experiment, but it seems that this is a case of hype over interest.

Tory bloggers to target BBC

Labour and the BBC had better watch out: the Tories are on a mission to harness the power of blogging and are out to learn a few dirty tricks from the Republicans.
In the US Republicans have made blogging something of a powerful political tool, claiming big name scalps like CBS news anchor Dan Rather and damaging Democrat presidential loser John Kerry by going for his Vietnam war record.

According to a report in The Times today, the Tories have sent one Tim Montgomerie, who is behind the conservativehome.blogs.com, to the US to pick up tips from the Republican bloggers.

Montgomerie has been impressed by the likes of Glen Reynolds, who is behind the influential US political blog, instantpundit.com, and who argues that blogs can take on the mainstream media.

This only means one thing to the Tories: it's a chance to do a bit of BBC bashing.

"The BBC is the obvious place to start. It is our No 1 target," says Montgomerie.

It'll be interesting, but personally I don't see the Tories having any success in the UK market, which is so very different to the US and where blogging is nowhere near as mainstream.

In the UK the instances of bloggers impacting the mainstream media agenda have been fewer and of less significance and where these have been successful it is not from Tories, but from the left-wing blogs such as when Harry's Place, which helped to highlight the extremist links of a trainee Guardian journalist Dilpazier Aslam.

Blue rinsers, even under fresh-faced 'Dave' ("my favourite band is the Killers) Cameron, don't strike you as natural bloggers. Besides the Rotary Club can be time consuming. The other problem for the Tories is that some tactics used by US bloggers would simply never wash in the UK.

One of the most celebrated US bloggers, Ann Coulter, whose nickname is the "Bitch Goddess", helped highlight what the Iranians were up to nuclear wise with such helpful language as "Raghead talk tough, raghead face consequences".

Or maybe it could work, in which case expect to see "Ragheads in charge at BBC" any day soon.

Chicks and kicks

Whatever you think of French Connection clothing (poor quality and overpriced is the Brand Republic office consensus), its advertising is always striking and the latest spot written by Trevor Beattie is set for tabloid headlines and an almost certain TV ban.
It's one of those ads with "shot to be banned" written all over it, with violence and sexual suggestiveness writ large. I kind of like it. Funny that.

  Two very attractive women trade martial arts blows in a dingy basement. It's not just the fighting, which would not look out of place in a Jet Li movie, but there is an added element of sexual suggestiveness. At various stages, as elbows, punches and kicks are traded, the girls, who also lose items of clothing, seem to be enjoying it as the men in the cinema audience will no doubt do so also -- there's no way this will run on TV, not pre-watershed at least.

Oh, then there is the baby oil touch. Extra special, one of the women gets covered in oil (it’s a dingy basement after all) and takes a second or two to rub some down her arms.

The final shot, as one women pins the other against the wall, is a passionate kiss, followed by another, a Glasgow kiss, as a wincing headbutt is served up.

Small point really, but the only thing I can't quite work out is what it has to do with its target market of 18- to 24-year-old women?