Can it get any worse for Carl Hayman?

You have to feel sorry for Carl Hayman.

The world’s best prop forward had several reasons (£££!) for signing for the Newcastle Falcons ahead of the 2007/08 rugby season. But he must be scratching his head at the moment.

The Falcons – who have sold England stars Matthew Tait and Toby Flood – are a pretty dire outfit, especially with the loss Jonny Wilkinson to injury yet again.

And had the 28 year-old remained in his native New Zealand he would still be an integral part of their preparations for the 2011 World Cup on home soil.

Instead the poor man finds himself dress in a pretty frock trying to flog a few family tickets for the team’s Guinness Premiership fixture against London Irish later this month.

Fair play to him and his team-mates for having a sense of humour to appear in the promotional campaign but surely this wasn’t what the big man signed up for!

(Hayman: top right)

Haka-ed off with the All Blacks (the New Zealand All Blacks that is)

The New Zealand All Blacks are threatening to sue Launceston RFC, after the National League Division 2 minnows tried to trademark the name, ‘Cornish All Blacks’.

Once upon a time the All Blacks were revered in this country and adopted as a second team for many followers of the 15-man code. But over the years the good will has all but evaporated and this ridiculous non-sense does them no favours.

Apparently the Cornish All Blacks have used the moniker since 1948 and the episode reminds me of the equally ludicrous attempts by Victoria Beckham to sue Peterborough United FC for selling merchandise carrying their nickname ‘The Posh’.

Launceston RFC president Tony Randel summed up my feelings on this matter perfectly when he said, ‘We were dismayed but unfortunately not surprised when the New Zealand RFU objected to this move.’

A cheaper way to sponsor 2012

Feeling the crunch but want a piece of London 2012 action? Then visit www.benumber1.co.uk

The other day while filming a piece for marketingmagazine.co.uk on the London 2012 Olympics a passer by shoved a business card into my hand which offers you the chance to ‘sponsor a British athlete for just £20 a year’. Bet BT, Lloyds et al wish they hadn’t been so hasty with those £50m deals now…

Actually, I don’t mean to be condescending. It strikes me as a pretty neat way to raise much needed funds for some of our less well supported athletes and give the public a way of becoming a true part of any success we hope to achieve in 2012.

The card appeals to ‘individuals and businesses to offer financial support to British Olympic, Paralympic and world champion hopefuls' and according the website, Be Number One athletes include the Yngling girls (Gold in Beijing), David Davies (Silver medallist swimmer) and world champion gymnast Beth Tweddle.

Beckham: More than just a clothes horse

So David Beckham will be worth £10m to AC Milan on his loan spell in January, according to Professor Simon Chadwick of Coventry University.

This seems a massive overstatement for such a short deal, the fact that AC Milan are not in the Champions League, there is no major international tournament this summer and given Beckham’s advancing years – and that Serie A is now a million miles from being a top European league. Furthermore, I’m sure Beckham will be reimbursed handsomely for his Italian adventure.

But while there is little doubt that Beckham has over the years added huge commercial value to any club, it is a pity that this is all the press seems to focus on.

The way people go on about it you’d have thought he did nothing more than set up a stall outside the ground to flog gear to willing punters.

Beckham has always given his all for club and country – often in the face of huge criticism – and I’m sure that will continue when he turns out for the Rossoneri in the New Year.

A real sports personality of the year, please

In 2004, Olympic champion cyclists Chris Hoy and Bradley Wiggins were sat at in cheap seat watching BBC Sports Personality of the Year arching their necks to get a look at the winners.

While 10 minutes were dedicated to the deceased race horse Red Rum, the Olympians were not afforded a single mention all evening. In a recent interview Wiggins said it was pretty depressing to mean less to the British public than a dead horse. Who can blame him?

Last year, Joe Calzaghe was a worthy winner of sports personality of the year but all too ofton bores - like Michael Owen or Jonathan Edwards - have picked up this coveted prize. So I was glad to hear that this year Wiggins and team-mate Hoy have VIP tickets and will surely be among the nominees for this year's accolade.

I think we all applauded Joey Barton criticism of England's players' decision to bring out books following the 2006 World Cup. "I played like ***. Here's my book.' Who wants to read that?", he said. And even as a lifelong Chelsea fan I have to say that Didier Drogba's upcoming autobiography will not be on the Christmas wish list. But I hope the upcoming book by Wiggins - who having won Gold in Athens went on a 9 month bender - proves a rare exception.

So, here's hoping this year's prize goes to a true character. Before the Beeb unveils its nominations for this year's main award, here's how I think it should go...

BBC Sports Personality of the Year 2008

Chris Hoy (triple Beijing Olympic cycling gold medallist and world champion)

Bradley Wiggins (doulble Beijing Olympic cycling gold medallist and world champion)

Rebeccah Adlington (double Gold medal winning Olympic swimmer)

Lewis Hamilton (assuming he wins the Formula 1 driver's championship)

Shane Williams (inspirational in Wales' historic Grand Slam and nominated for IRB Player of the Year)

Ben Ainslie (record breaking sailing Gold medallist)

Andy Murray (US Open finalist)

Kevin Pietersen (England cricket captain)

Christina Ohuruogu (Gold medal winning athlete)

Who would you nominate?