Devil's Advocate

Charities can crack Credit Crunch conundrum

Ian Moore — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 17:13:00 GMT

There's been a lot in the news lately about how 2009 is all set to be an annus horribilis for Britain's charities, as donors in their millions tighten their belts and pull in their purse-strings. A recent survey by CCBfast.MAP among 1309 donors found that the most common reason (41%) for ever having ceased donating to a specific charity is 'Couldn't afford it any more' - so you'd think the media have got it right on this one. But I'm not so sure. Having toiled through several recessions - and I'm certain there'll never be one to match the Winter of Discontent when, despite the End Of The World being Nigh, the M62 was still jammed solid with lorries delivering to Asda - I can't help feeling the commentators are missing a basic trick. Even at the worst of Thatcher's recession, there were still about 27 million people with jobs. Right now, I believe the figure's nearer to 32 million, and it's going to stay pretty close to that no matter how bad things get. So - if you're one of the vast majority who stays in work, who benefits from the lowest mortgage rates in recorded history, who stops buying holidays and new homes and new cars because the media have frightened the s**t out of you... what have you got? The answer (I think) is a lot more loose change in your pocket. This is presumably why the supermarkets rub their hands when recession looms. If my theory is right, then the charities, far from mongering doom, should be out there rattling their collection boxes under the nation's noses. For promoters, who might be having second thoughts about employing this relatively modern '4th mechanic' (the old world three being 'free', 'win' and 'save', and the new claimant to 5th being 'vote'), take heart. With all this talk of Hard Times, surely the collective mood should be more charitable than usual, and the wherewithal in greater abundance than at any time since Mrs T sold off the family silver back in the days of El Sid.

Yule Blog

Ian Moore — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 15:10:00 GMT

Well, the world's biggest sales promotion is upon us yet again, and though Hard Times abound, I'm sure the good ship Blighty will load itself to the gunnels with turkey and British sprouts (none of those Brussels variety, thank you very much), and a fair helping of Christmas pud and the Royle Family, and sail out in January fighting fit and ready for the recovery. We're fleeter of foot than our competitors across the channel (remember, not a single home vessel lost in the sinking of the mighty, but sluggish Armada), and what a great chance to prove it once more when the markets (of all kind) open for trading in 2009. I've travelled a fair few of the seven seas and have yet to find a marketing community as ingenious as ours - never mind that we have a secret weapon called Hard Work. Thanks for reading in 2008. Good luck for 2009!

The clue's in the name

Ian Moore — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 18:32:00 GMT

If you're a student of branding, you might have drawn the connection between the latest sucker punch to hit the world of finance, and the name of the person allegedly behind it. This got me thinking about brand names, too, and the success of those that incorporate something of what they stand for in their crafting. It brought to mind examples like Pampers, Direct Line and LoveFilm. Intuitively there's something right about this concept, and the brands themselves are testament to its virtue. It's said that people's names can have a significant impact upon how they become perceived - and indeed, their success or otherwise in life. There's a counter argument to this, which can be found in Yellow Pages, where lives a thriving community of contradictory epithets and professions. Just take accountants, for example - there's a Conn, several Swindells, and even more Robbs. There's a plumber called Leak in Loughborough, and an Electrician called Short in South Humberside. One wonders if potential customers are in any way deterred by the subconscious messages such names must send out. One of our kids this term got a new teacher called Miss Kane, and has been treading very carefully, I can tell you. There was a dentist called Mr Payne in the local practice where I grew up - to be avoided at all costs! And so full circle to Mr Madoff. Bad enough as it reads... even worse when you discover it's pronounced 'Made Off'. Now does that sound like a good place for your money?

ISPTV?

Ian Moore — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 13:39:00 GMT

At the revitalised centurion the Waldorf last Friday the great and the good of the ISP (now is that a contradiction in terms?) gathered to celebrate the organisation's 75th anniversary and - not least - to hear what guest speaker Sir Michael Grade had to say about the industry. 'This ought to be good,' I thought, given the panning ITV's image and pocket have taken from Ofcom over the course of the past year or so. Indeed, they've even signed up to the ISP ranks, such were the reverberations of the aftershock. (Nice work, Ofcom.) However, when the much awaited speech came, I'm sure I detected a bit of a sales pitch for ITV. (Well, a big bit, actually.) This was all very interesting, but it did get me thinking again about the old chestnut of the ISP's brand identity. From the inside, looking out, it's clear (promotional marketing of all kinds that leads to a sale or measurable action on behalf of the consumer, usually creating a legal contract), but the other way round, it just can't be so plain. Sir Michael noted how pleased he was to be among fellow salespeople. Hmm... kind of, but... well. Then there were all the reasons to choose ITV over Sky or Facebook or the Daily Telegraph. (Are we selling advertising space to our clients? I thought we were supposed to be media-neutral types.) Maybe an inebriated planner had been delegated the task of sketching out the speech... but probably not. I reckon it's another straw in the wind that says maybe a change is due. As Chairman Clive Mishon mentioned in his address, the 75-years-young ISP hasn't always been called the ISP... so maybe the time has arrived for a new monica that will sweep it through to its centenary with the same youthful energy that echoes about the Waldorf's marble halls. All submissions on a postcard, please.

Booze - just how out of touch does the government have to be?

Ian Moore — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 17:47:00 GMT

I note there are mixed opinions on proposals in today's Queen's Speech to restrict (or not restrict) the sale of alcohol, but I can't help feeling that our legislators have absolutely no idea of what goes down (quite literally) on the streets. The view that a gag on sales promotion will solve society's booze-related ills can only be described as Rose Tinted (sorry I can't do the acute accent on Rose - but hopefully you get the bad joke). Just one example: a couple of weeks ago I went to the Hearts v Celtic game at Tynecastle. Well before kick-off hundreds of (mainly) visiting fans were thronging the small shopping arcades on the western approaches to the ground. Thirst-demented grown-ups were falling over one another to escape tiny crowded licensed stores, already pressing their bottles of Buckie to their lips, ringing tills singing in their ears. Others lined the sidewalks and shopfronts, chanting, leering, jeering and cheering (variously, according to the colour of the passing objects of their attention), merrily getting merrier by the minute, and this well before noon. It didn't take Inspector Rebus and his breathalyser to know that most of this lot were well over the limit, and - a fair few - well up for trouble. I can't say I saw any, and in general it's a sight I've witnessed many times down the years, yet for most people I'm sure it's an unacceptable display of antisocial and intimidating behaviour. But quite how banning bogofs and happy hours would impact here, I fail to understand.

Pret BOGOF hoax

Ian Moore — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 13:28:00 GMT

While I have to sympathise with Pret a Manger having become victims to the latest internet coupon hoax, I also had to smile that the media were ascribing the dirty work to an industry outsider on the grounds that the fake voucher contained a typo. Come off it - what planet are they on? I run whole training sessions lasting for hours with endless examples of typos, mis-speelings and grammatical errors as the subject matter. Our industry is jumping with them (for reasons that we all know). Far from proving this was the work of some mischievous schoolboy, if you ask me the presence of the typo is concrete evidence that a marketer had a hand in it.

New from Tesco - 'BOGOD'

Ian Moore — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 15:53:00 GMT

I note (via the ISP website) that Which? researchers claim to have discovered offers in M&S, Waitrose, Sainsbury and Tesco that allegedly broke the new government regulations on unfair commercial practices - these concern, for instance, the requirement for goods to have been on sale at advertised higher prices for at least 28 days in that store, in order for claimed discounts to be considered valid, that kind of thing. I imagine these are mostly mistakes - otherwise that wouldn't be very good PR, would it? - just like the one the eagle-eyed Telegraph reader photographed last week in Tesco: a "2 for £3" shelf-talker, also advertising single purchases at £1.47.... isn't that 'Buy One, Get One Dearer'?

Strictly free advertising

Ian Moore — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 13:14:00 GMT

Auntie must be rejoicing at the latest national furore stirred up by one of its erstwhile employees - just when presenters across the network were gritting their teeth and grudgingly reporting on the start up of ITV's ever popular 'I'm a Nonentity', over the brow of the hill comes the cavalry in the lumbering form of - dare I say it - The Dashing White Sergeant! What a relief - now they can report ad infinitum (or should that be ad nauseum?) on their own 'troubles', and take the limelight away from those undeserving low-brow oiks across at Commercial HQ. Wow - and what limelight! There's no brand in the country that could have afforded the airtime budget that the Beeb have splashed on Strictly in the past couple of days - who'd guess we're in the middle of the steepest recession since... the last recession? Neat footwork, Auntie.

NEVER MIND THE B***H

Ian Moore — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 09:35:00 GMT

Yes - this particular censored expletive confounded us over the weekend, too. An "investigation" by The Sunday Telegraph into the level of swearing in 12A films naturally caught my attention (after all, my favourite joke has to be the primary school alphabet class and the foul-mouthed boy, you know the one: "Dwarf - Miss - dwarf!"). Evidently too many naughty words are sneaking under the radar of the British Board of Film Classification. Given we'd just taken the kids to see Ghost Town, and it appeared in the ST's rogues' gallery, I was intrigued to see which particular cusses had fallen upon their angel ears without me noticing. The answer, apparently, was 2 f***s, 4 s***s, 5 asses (seemingly an 'American-style' swear-word, but not bad enough for the ST to disguise it), plus the one mysterious b***h. Just imagine - some trainspotter sat through 24 hours of films, ticking a checklist for this article! Now, I've always thought I've had quite a talent for swearing (in appropriate company, of course) (second thoughts, delete that space after the word 'in'), but b***h left me scratching my head. B****r, b*****d, b****y, b******g and B******s - yes, I'm fully familiar with all of them and can usually fit them comfortably into a single sentence (especially when doing DIY, or - like this weekend - seeing that Leicester were 2-0 up with 4 minutes to go and assuming the points were safely in the bag). But b***h... hmm? I wondered, should I ask the kids? - no, it would be too embarrassing to admit they might know an expletive that I didn't. This forced me to do the one thing I didn't fancy, which was to read the article itself - I mean, half a page of broadsheet eked out from a tenuous proposition. Eventually, after a couple of attempts, I found the mystery word presented in its 'swearing context', and realised you'd need to be something of a lateral thinker to work this one out at first sight. Is it a swear-word, even? Well, in case it is, I'd better not type it out in full - but all suggestions welcome on a postcard. In the meantime, what's this got to do with my marketing blog? Well, I'm frantically trying to work that out as I'm going along, but I think the moral of the story is that you can't be too careful with the language you use - never assume your reader will understand what you're talking about when you present them with anything resembling a riddle.

Putting the SP into sperm

Ian Moore — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 12:02:00 GMT

I heard on the radio this morning that as a nation we're facing not only a shortage of nuclear power stations, but also sperm donors. Apparently there's only 300 or so brave souls going about this particular branch of the fission and fusion business. (Cripes, what will the population all look like in a couple of generations? The same, is the answer I'm thinking of.) But it did strike me there's probably a better way of stimulating traffic to the sperm banks than simply by trying to appeal to the Genghis Khan in us (and I understand there IS a bit in just about every one of us!). It used to be that there were only 3 SP mechanics: Free, Win and Save. Not only could we develop a campaign for sperm donation that incorporates all of these (and I'm leaving the creative development to your imagination here), but also we could clearly include the 'new' fourth mechanic, 'Give'. The act of giving is now recognised by the ISP as a valid reward for a consumer, as a result of taking a particular action. So, not only is the mechanic ripe for an outstanding campaign, with a theme like this it really ought to be like falling off a log to recruit 3rd-party co-promoters. Ann Summers springs to mind (and if only we had Holland's liberal retail regime...). Indeed, once you sail down this particular canal, it doesn't take a Biological Scientist to reach the conclusion that there really is an easy way to have would-be donors queueing around the block, around the clock, and that's simply down to a bit of good old (or is it new?) experiential marketing. Again, I leave the executional aspects to your imagination, but it would be based on the sound principles that underpin any good experiential campaign: a bit of theatre, staff that look the part for the task in hand (ahem), appropriate costumes, the correct attitude, wow the customer... come on! ... we can save the human race!

Murray Mint

Ian Moore — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 20:32:00 GMT

I'm sure you noticed the logo on Scotland jerseys and prominently displayed around Murrayfield's stands this weekend (well, you probably didn't... fair enough)... it was just one word, Murray. Now, the last few weeks I've been banging on about free advertising (and suggesting that, in order to take advantage, firms launch brands called Satnaq, Solace, and Quantum. Somewhat tongue-in-cheek, I admit, but some of these names are already trading). Here was another example, indeed a not insubstantial chunk of marketing expenditure doing the job for, well.... for whom? Having lived in Edinburgh for many years, when I see an ad for 'Murray' I automatically assume it's for the long-established and successful multi-outlet car dealership group, the Murray Motor Co. Well done to them, I thought, for getting behind Scotland. Excellent targeting too, given the rugby audience and the fact that they hold franchises for a number of the more prestigious marques. It was only when browsing the net after the game that I realised it wasn't them. Nope. Instead it was David Murray's (of Rangers renown) Murray International Metals. Except the logos all just said Murray. It does amaze me that things like this slip under the radar. It shouldn't, because I see it time and again. Ah well, any CTN owners reading this - get ready for a run on Murray Mints first thing Sunday morning.

Faceful of Maltesers

Ian Moore — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 21:52:00 GMT

If you collapsed with mirth when the laugh-a-minute Daniel Craig was invited by the laugh-a-minute Jonathan Ross to come up with titles for the next Bond movie, it may have struck you that here was a missed product placement opportunity. I mean, right now two of the most heavily promoted brands in the world must be that mysterious couple, Solace and Quantum. Paid-for and free, they're getting wall-to-wall, floor-to-ceiling 24/7 coverage. And who benefits? Well, I imagine, firms like Quantum Sports Cars of Devon, or maybe the eponymous recruitment consultancy based up in sunny Edinburgh. Then there's the oxymoronic 'Pub Church' named Solace (yes, Pub Church... it could only be in Cardiff)... or perhaps Solace Podiatry over in Belfast. They must be coining it in. Unimagined levels of publicity and no danger of being confused with Mr Fleming's intended Quantum and Solace - not likely... not when the average shopper's reading age is 11. I'm sure mine's a year or two above that, but I confess I'm challenged to come up with a snappy explanation for either word. Stick them together and you've got a phrase to confound all but the Mensa members in our midst. I'm only surprised more enterprising firms aren't jumping on the bondwagon (sic) and launching a welter of Solace SKUs and quirky Quantum soundalikes. Which brings me back to the title of the next movie. They've no doubt already sold off all the best spots in the screenplay to the big bidders, but surely the most prized position in the 'Bond Street' shop window is name of the movie... hence my initial idea - a poor effort, I agree, inspired entirely by it being a description of what I was doing at the time I started writing this post. But all suggestions welcome, and maybe we can forward the good ones to United Artists and ask for a cut, should the winning deal be struck.

ROSS ON BRAND

Ian Moore — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 11:40:00 GMT

Surely the only mistake Auntie's twin paid-to-be-edgy musketeers have made is to have picked on Manuel? It's rather like declaring you're for the Republic - there's a lot of people out there ready and waiting to smash you over the head with their golden jubilee china teapots. Of course, you have to feel for Andrew Sachs - an incredibly rich and varied acting career and yet the whole world only knows (and loves) him as an incompetent grovelling waiter from Barcelona. But... there's branding for you. As for his two protagonists' brand of humour - who can possibly be surprised at their output? It seemed pretty much on brand to me.

Sainsbury's BAGOF ploy

Ian Moore — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 11:55:00 GMT

Do people shop at the same time every week? Maybe Sainsbury's know that many of us do. (Certainly they must have an electronic record of my erratic panic-buying.) Whatever... I'm intrigued by their latest scheme to replace plastic bags with little leaflets offering a free weekly text reminder prior to your normal shopping time. I've tried this and it works - at least to the extent that you get a text message imploring you to bring in your old bag (personally, I prefer to shop alone). Obviously the flaw in the hypothesis centres on my opening question: do people shop at the same time? Do they even shop on the same day? ........................................................................................................................................................................... Playing... erm... Devil's Advocate, I'm tempted to wonder whether this is just a vaguely plausible excuse by which to build up a handy database for mobile marketing. How long will it be before the text messages start to include special offers? Actually - I don't think I'd object... although you'd think they'd want to link up with my Nectar card number, so they know what I do and don't buy. Maybe I'm jumping the gun? Still - it will be an interesting one to watch. In the meantime I've set my reminder so it coincides with when I need to put out the wheelie bin each week, so that could prove very handy.

TO LET HUMOUR

Ian Moore — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 18:19:00 GMT

I just discovered I'm the only person in the office who wanders the streets filling in (in thought, if not in actual practice) the missing 'i' in every 'To let' I see. With the current property crunch, and surfeit of signs, this keeps me pretty busy on my travels about town. Today, one of our execs happened to have a similar visual on her desk (not sure why), and I happened to mention the missing i... only to receive blank stares all around. Come off it (I said) - this is a wind up. Surely everyone does this? How can you possibly resist the thought? But no - despite detailed interrogation - it seems only certain creative directors are prey to this 'unnatural' urge. I have to say, for me, it conjured up memories of the Python sketch where the guy called Smoketoomuch responds to the retort "Well, you'd better cut down a little" with the reply "I'm sorry?" ................................................................................................................................................................... It's probably true to say that there's a bell-curve distribution of this trait within the population (and the word-obsessed like me sit on the far right), but I'm sure most people could complete the sentence "Beanz Meanz *****" with little effort. This phenomenon - closure in Gestalt pyschology - is something we all use to train our kids, yet is becoming something of a lost art in the world of marketing communications. Jingles are pooh-poohed as some throwback from the sixties, yet I wonder have adult brains changed any in the intervening decades? Surely not. And in this over-advertised hypercluttered media environment, maybe a few short and sharp taglines are just what's needed. Words are powerful little devils if they're kept lean and hungry, and then unleashed upon the right victims.