Recession good for honesty

Apparently the recession has led to a decrease in deliberate coupon misredemption and a corresponding increase in regular 'honest' coupon use by us price-conscious Brits. According to the 2008 CCB fast.MAP Marketing GAP research (thanks to the ISP for alerting me to this - see www.isp.org.uk for the whole shebang), only 38% of consumers now 'sometimes' misredeem coupons (down from 43% last year). Only 38%. Phew - that's a relief. ................................................................................................................................................... I'm being facetious, of course. The figures suggest (if we can believe what people tell the men in white coats) that the vast majority of coupons are correctly redeemed. Indeed only 6% of 'users' confess to being habitual misredeemers. In any event, this aspect of coupon (mis)use has never particularly fazed me - even if misredemption ran at 50% it's still a remarkably cheap way of getting an incentive to consumers en masse, and with reasonable degrees of targeting. It's very, very cheap compared to indiscriminate discounting. A whacking 37% say they'll use a lowly 20p coupon (most people would pocket an abandoned 20p coin), which probably costs only a few pence more when you factor in the misredeemers. Compare that to the crippling marketing cost of a bogof or a twofer. ................................................................................................................................................... I've seen convincing research that coupons can make a significant difference to household penetration levels (one US study of four major fmcg brands indicated a 60% higher level for couponed households), but the main flaw in the couponing argument concerns established brands with already high penetration levels... aren't you just paying people to do what they were going to do anyway? There's no easy answer to this, unless you value each 'next purchase' as the first in a long line that may otherwise have died out. And maybe that is a philosophy which it is more than ever appropriate to adopt - or at least since the last proper recession.

Deja Goo

I've eventually got round to trying one of Cadbury's latest line extensions, Twisted, which is basically Creme egg in a countline format. Not bad - tastes exactly like Creme Egg, with pretty thick chocolate to boot. Can Cadbury begin to count their chickens? A company quote on TalkingRetail says: "Research revealed that 90% of consumers would like the Creme Egg experience throughout the year and as the 'goo', not the egg-shape, is the key driver for consumption, the new format will appeal to existing and new consumers." On that basis, they can do away with the egg-shape completely, surely? (But I don't think so, somehow.) .................................................................................................................................................. Moreover, the marketing quote recalled my own time at Cadbury in the early 1980s, when research had apparently shown that consumers would love Creme Egg to be on sale all year round. So Cadbury duly obliged, Creme Egg sales duly declined, and the brand suffered terribly. Eventually Cadbury came to the conclusion that they could sell more product in the 3 or so months between Christmas and Easter, and in the nick of time returned to the successful seasonal formula. So what's changed? .................................................................................................................................................. Well - one thing that hasn't changed is that marketers keep believing what consumers tell them in research. Q1. Do you like Creme Eggs? Yes. Q2. Would you like them to be available all year? Yes. Now, why would anyone say no to the second question? (Amazingly apparently 10% did - maybe they never eat Creme Eggs. Are there such people?) What I learned at Cadbury was that just because someone likes a particular confection, unless it can become their 'staple' choice (like Mars or Kit-Kat), they'll stuff their faces with it for a while and then get sick of it. Creme Eggs are pretty induldgent an 'eat' and surely fall into this latter category. Mars and Kit-Kat are actually pretty bland... as is the way of staples in almost every market. .................................................................................................................................................. So I think Cadbury have got a tough task on their hands with Twisted. When you consider that even the mighty Wispa rose and fell to oblivion, despite initially threatening to overturn the incumbent brand leaders - and it achieved levels of trial and publicity that have probably never been seen for a product since. I wish them good luck (should that be goo luck?), as nothing beats Brummie chocolate.

Institutionalised Fakism

So now it's Auntie that's been caught out faking it. A galaxy of stars find their shows have fallen victim to the 'editorial lapse', Liz Kershaw 17 times no less (but not the same night, I hope). I'm beginning to wonder if this affliction of the media is not actually some addiction, so long has it been running as a recurring theme. ............................................................................................................................................................................. From the safety of the moral high ground of the 'professional' SP industry, it's been easy to view these so-obviously 'illegal' promotions as irrelevant. "They're not pukka SP... the newspapers and scratchcard boys have been getting away with them for years... they don't count as proper marketing." 'Nake no Totice,' as Thingumy and Bob would say. The trouble is, people do. ............................................................................................................................................................................. These campaigns - whether it's scratchcards, press promotions, ITV and GMTV phone-ins... and now the Beeb - ARE 'proper' marketing. They take place on such a scale and with such audience reach and frequency that they're the primary marketing activities with which most Brits interact. And I say that ahead even of broadcast advertising. And never mind that few purists would classify them even as marketing... it's what Joe Public thinks of as marketing that counts. ............................................................................................................................................................................. The corollary is twofold: firstly an easier path for those who would restrict marketing activities (the 'German' argument that they represent unfair competition, unrelated to product or service, as opposed to the free market case that total liberty to promote enhances competition and benefits the consumer), and secondly less response from the consumer - a pincer attack that will continue to diminish the standing, credibilty and effectiveness of marketing in general and SP in particular. Great 'honest' promoters like Coke, Kellogg and Walkers will find themselves tarred with the tacky brush of fakism. ............................................................................................................................................................................. Auntie has been landed with a £400k fine, modest compared to ITV's whacking £5.5m penalty. Apparently this is because it's public money and the BBC never ripped anyone off - neither of which stand up to much scrutiny: so what if it's public money (surely the fine stays in the public arena?), and how does paying for a phone call to enter a competition you can't win count as not being conned? But the trouble is, I don't believe fines will make any difference to public perception (they merely help to publicise the mass deception). What's needed, as I've said before, is a transparent and highly visible approach to the selection of winners of prize promotions. Not rocket science, just a small degree of effort... maybe a phone call to the ISP?

How many marketers does it take to change a light bulb (pack)?

Having recently blogged about promotions you can't win, my in-store lie-detector this week randomly turned its beady beam onto long-life light bulbs - or, as they should more accurately be called, not-really-very-long-life light bulbs. I've been buying these things for some time now, in the genuine belief that when a big red flash on the pack states "10 years", it means the light bulb lasts lit for 10 years. After all, isn't this the great age of "it does what it says on the tin"? Apparently not. ................................................................................................................................................................................................ If I may enlighten you - should you labour under the same misapprehension - when it says "10 years" it really means 1.14 years. (That's the equivalent in years to the 10,000 hours the microscopic print on the back of the pack - Philips in this case - reveals to be the true life of the bulb.) How do they do that, then? ................................................................................................................................................................................................ Having had a deckers at the Osram website, it appears that they're all up to the same trick. A so-called "15 year" Osram bulb will last for 15,000 hours (or 1.71 years, to save you doing the mental arithmetic). Here the small print reveals how the optical illusion is achieved: "15 years... 15,000 hours... at 2.7 hrs daily use." 2.7 HOURS DAILY USE? What planet are they on?! The dark side of the moon, it can only be. And certainly not one with kids who - as you may know from bitter bill-paying experience - are genetically programmed to leave lights switched on. I repeat - 2.7 hours! - this is the kind of calculation that could only have any relevance in Reykjavik in high summer. ................................................................................................................................................................................................ It's the garage forecourt equivalent of - instead of the pumps being marked in litres - petrol being sold in "miles". Imagine - you pay your £100, the pump tells you you've got "917 miles". Whacko you think. Then when you run out on the hard-shoulder of the M6, the AA man points out the pump calculations are based on the Prius, and you're driving an 8-cylinder 4.2 litre Chelsea farmer job. What did you expect? ................................................................................................................................................................................................ What you expected, of course, was the seller of the goods to tell the truth. Trades Descriptions Act and all that. These light bulbs - I mean - it's not even as if it's a dodgy promotional offering that never saw the light of ISP. No, it's the standard packaging that's getting away with one almighty whopper. A new definition for the light year, I would observe.

It's a Fanny Old Name

Isn't it amazing how new characters can leap from the shadowy wings to seize the limelight upon marketing's well-trodden boards? I suppose you could say brands like Amazon and Google did this, although it's surely much easier in an emerging sector - no old favourite acts against whom to vie for fans. To gain recognition in an established market takes something special... and I've long pondered on the role of brand names in this regard. ...................................................................................................................................................................................... The likes of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter and Cillit Bang (and maybe even Billy Bob) spring to mind - I'm sure you can think of a few more. But what prompted me to the subject this week was the sudden emergence across the pond of an unlikely sounding double-act going by the stage-names of Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae. What a delight to hear pompous Radio 4 newsreaders squirm as they stumbled over their lines, half-wondering if some backroom script-bod was having a laugh at their expense! ...................................................................................................................................................................................... But no... but yes... but... it's true. In that most serious of nations, they really do have two trillion-dollar lenders with names from The Waltons. And now - since they're apparently run by the same brand of comedians that commentators are heckling throughout the credit-crunched world - we've all heard of them, daft names to the fore. ...................................................................................................................................................................................... You have to admit, though (or at least give credence to the hypothesis), this news story wouldn't have had half the impact if it had been about some dry old august institutions, The Federal Home Loan Mortgage Corporation and The Federal National Mortgage Association (to give them their correct epithets). Yawn. In one ear and out the other. ...................................................................................................................................................................................... But Freddie and Fannie really left their mark. (I'm wondering if George Bush came up with these titles... but apparently they date from 1970 and 1938 respectively, so it's a bit of a long shot.) Not exactly an NPD success story, I know... but I can't help feeling it's an educational, real-life example of the cut-through than can be achieved through a message (in this case their names) that is genuinely distinctive.

Promotions. You can't win.

Seriously - you can't. (The pack says yes, but the computer says no.) What I'm talking about are promotions that have effectively expired, yet still affect to entice the consumer with their offers of great rewards. Ironically, what set out to be a measure to protect the public has become a loophole through which the unscrupulous promoter can sneak an excessively extended but empty exhortation. Indeed, today's straw poll in Sainsbury's revealed there's a worrying number out there that are not doing the SP industry any favours. The 'trick' is the so-called 'late draw', a final prize awarded often months after the main activity closes, designed to sweep up any tardy entrants, and to enable an offer that accidentally sticks around on the shelves still to be valid. You'll have one too, if your Agency knows its oats. And that's all well and good - especially for products like soft drinks whose sales in summer lie at the mercy of the unpredictable British weather. (Actually, quite predictable!) But some promotions seem to be rather taking the mickey. I just found Pepsi multi-packs blaring out about "Win £1,000 Every 90 Minutes", when actually the 90-minute bit closed almost 2 months ago, on 21 May. All that remains is a miserly monthly draw for the remainder of the year. "Win £1,000 Every Forty-Four Thousand or so Minutes." Quite a come-down. Robinson's squash is offering "VIP Family Passes to Wimbledon 2008" - not surprisingly an activity that passed championship point on 19 June! Buxton mineral water's offer of "Win a £20,000 Home Makeover" put up the "Sold" signs on 22 June (won by one lucky Karen Moran). And Fanta's "Want it? Win it!" became "Want it? Bin it!" on 29 June. Ouch. This hurts. Already basking in the reflected ignominy of the appalling misdemeanours committed by organisations who apparently wouldn't know the CAP Code from the Highway Code, this is not the time for the SP industry to be running offers that stretch the rules at the expense of the consumer. Sure, there might be a logical argument for the campaigns I've described... but remember, you can't win an argument.

The trouble with cash

The soft drinks market is awash with promotions just now - as it should be this time of year. Perusing the offerings, my eye was caught by three of the brands with cash prizes on offer: Vimto, Ribena and Pepsi. While ostensibly they target different audiences, in the supermarket we're talking adult consumer, like it or not - a single purse or wallet from which to get your share. ............................................................................................................................................... Vimto's proposition is to win £10,000 - one prize, drawn at random from entrants to an online Cluedo game. Oddly, the url on the pack doesn't seem to work. (There's also a second-tier offer for a special edition of Cluedo, at £9.99 - but that's another story.) The trouble with cash - cash prizes, that is - is that sooner or later someone comes along and trumps you. ............................................................................................................................................... Sure enough... further down the fixture there's Ribena: "Win £1,000 a day." It says there's £94k up for grabs, with a grand a day from 1 July to 1 October. (I make that 93 days, but maybe there's a secret formula in action.) ............................................................................................................................................... Just when Ribena think they've cracked it... along comes Pepsi: "Win a £1,000 every 90 minutes." Take that, Mary Queen of Scots. Indeed, the Pepsi budget dwarfs its competitors, £308k by my calculations. (Although 'curiously' - euphemism - the 90-minute bit only lasted from 22 April to 21 May... after that it switched to a single draw for £1k a month... but you have to fight your way through the small print to discover this fact.) ............................................................................................................................................... Quite a bevy of promotional beauties... revealed as not all that they're got up to be when you get close enough. But the average shopper doesn't generally go in for this kind of sleuthing job, so it's often the prettiest face that wins the admirers. ............................................................................................................................................... Of course, it would be ingenuous of me to act like I think promotions are just trying to stimulate a one-off purchase. As we all know, they're many times more effective at generating repeat participation (and preferably repeat purchase). Looked at in this light, some of the mechanics have been thought out more thoroughly than others.

Knock me down with a feather! - Brussels makes a good point

In tune with British public opinion, as a matter of principle I'm apt to disagree with anything that emanates from Brussels' colour-blind committees. However, I have to admit, I believe they've got it right in demanding a minimum point-size for text printed on packaging. ........................................................................................................................................................................ The EC is proposing that no type for mandatory info should be less than 3mm in size. In old money, that's the equivalent of about 12-point body. While most product managers are in their 20s (and have yet to succumb to hypermetropia), the majority of consumers are not (and many have). As it is, about half the population needs specs, and half of them can't read small type. ........................................................................................................................................................................ We all interpret the 'small print' as the stuff they have to put there but don't want us to read. It's such a blatant covert tactic (if you'll excuse the oxymoron) that I'm rather amazed nothing has been done about it before now. And how can the FSA seriously justify the hoo-hah? (Extra waste packaging, they say.) In this day and age, surely any food producer worth its salt wants to be honest with its consumers? ........................................................................................................................................................................ As all marketers know, bigger equals more readership, so smaller must mean the opposite. You won't find many logos set in 5-point type, and the hacks who sell their words daily go to press at nothing less than 10. It seems Brussels has a point.

You're in the Army now

I read last week that advertisers - the Army being the example cited - may be censured for painting an incomplete picture of the product or service on offer. The Army, it seems, along with promises of a first-class training, a useful trade, and the chance to see the world, would also be obliged to mention that it might be the last job you ever do. Now, call me thick, but on two counts I did have to pick myself up from the floor thoroughly shell-shocked. ................................................................................................................................. For one - and surely I hardly need mention this - isn't the primary role of a soldier to put him or herself into the line of enemy (or in some cases, friendly) fire? Otherwise one may as well become an aid worker (although I'm not convinced that sounds any safer, these days). So it would be rather stating the obvious to run a recruitment campaign on this basis... and surely not misleading to anyone but the most recently arrived Martian to take for granted that the audience knew the implications of taking the Queen's shilling. ................................................................................................................................ Secondly, and more salient from a marketing perspective, is the naive understanding it shows of the motivation of an advertiser. Why would anyone stump up the cash for an ad that positively unsells their product? (Okay, some people do this unwittingly, but that's another story!) Of course, we all get taught in Kommunications Kindergarten that our messages must be legal, decent, honest and truthful... but nowhere did I come across a requirement to write a comprehensive essay detailing all the pros, cons, benefits and risks. It would be the stuff sleeping draughts are made of. ................................................................................................................................ In some parts of the world firms are obliged to state the odds of winning if you take part in one of their sales promotions. (Not a bad idea, as it flushes out the paper tigers.) But imagine if organisations were forced to include in their advertising your chances of not surviving the product experience. 'Go green. Cycle to work. It's 50% more dangerous than driving.' 'Take up golf - you're only 300% more likely to be struck by lightning.' 'Used Car. Nail. Positive death-trap.' ................................................................................................................................ While we'd all enjoy the imposition of such regulations upon prospective politicians and standing Government ministers, to expect marketers to shell out for so-called 'balanced' advertising is incomprehensible. I suspect throughout the million-odd years or whatever it is that Homo sapiens has been around, there's been an unwavering tradition to use benefits in order to sell. There's also a long-established principle of caveat emptor. It's the real world.

Look out Manchester - here we come again!

The impending drinks crunch in Scotland could soon make the recent Bluenose exodus to Manchester something of a weekly affair, and no need for the Old Firm to join the Premier League in the process. Have you heard about the Scottish Government's proposals to limit sales of evil alcohol north of the border? (Probably not, if a recent report on regional news coverage is anything to go by.) Allow me to enlighten you, before the kilt-clad booze-cruise hordes arrive at a supermarket near you. .................................................................................................................................................................. Unless Big Bruss steps in with its anti-competitive size 12s, it seems Wee 'Eck is determined to implement a regime of minimum pricing for drinks products in the off trade. That could mean a brand like White Lightning going up by 75% overnight. (What I'd like to know is who gets the extra margin?) (Or should I re-phrase that as Tesco?) On which note Tesco Value Lager would need to increase by 32%, Strongbow by 27% and McEwan's Export Premium by 35%. ................................................................................................................................................... The idea is that products that contribute to binge drinking and antisocial behaviour will become less popular by dint of their unpopular price tags. Curiously, Buckie - uniquely named and shamed as a troublemaker of a tonic by several former Government ministers - is apparently already sufficiently expensive, and doesn't fall foul of the new regulations (to be). They'll be dancing in the streets of Buckfast/Andover/Raith etc. ........................................................................................................................................ Other plans include the banning of 3-for-2 type offers (three cheers!), alcohol-only checkouts, and an increase in the minimum age for purchase of alcohol to 21. There'll also be a 'social responsibility fee' for some retailers, to fund the adverse consequences of a market from which they currently only profit (at the yob-ridden community's expense). ..................................................................................................................................... Received wisdom has it that these ideas have got the proverbial snowball's chance of becoming law... but that would be to underestimate the political skills of a regime that is actually doing things that voters approve of. From an SP perspective, I can't help thinking the SNP's siren call could herald the return of a golden era of proper marketing, when brands once again sell on the merits of their proposition... no longer how cheaply they get you pished. (For translation, ask your nearest Scotsman.)

Don't panic - advertising works

In the early eighties I worked on a brand which - whenever we advertised - consistently saw sales rise by 75% almost overnight. This convinced me that marketing messages can and do break through, and impact significantly upon behaviour. This week we've seen a similar example, as the media - perhaps bored of causing runs on banks - have amused themselves by causing panic at the pumps, by mentioning the prospect of... panic at the pumps. No surprise, really - it's how we get kids to eat their greens ("Don't you dare eat that spinach") - and, if I recall correctly, explained by the NLP theory of the embedded command. Just touch that subconscious hair-trigger with the right (or wrong) word, and you'll have your customer worrying about how your product's going to kill them, instead of calmly buying it. Ogilvy cited a claim that 'Our salt contains no arsenic' as a good (bad) example of sending out an inappropriate message. I find it curious that Sainsbury advertise at the shelf-edge products that they sell at the same price as Tesco. While I understand the logic - and I've gone into print myself in the past to say they needed to do something about their expensive image - at an emotional level I reckon this particular tactic is a bit of an own goal. Certainly I find myself thinking things like 'Is that the best they can do versus Tesco?' (achieve the same price) or 'Oh, Tesco stock this, too' (a store I also shop at occasionally). It seems to raise more questions than it answers, and gets the word Tesco going round in my head, without any negative connotations (which surely is the objective of comparative advertising?).

Wooden Spoon for Fulfilment

We've been keeping Duerrs sales up, north of the border, for several years now, and I was pleased recently to spot across the breakfast bar that increasingly rare commodity, the on-pack premium offer. Tucked inconspicuously under the marmalade lid was an SLP for a 'Golden Jam Spoon'. Curiosity got the better of me, and I sent off my £2.99, then sat back and waited. Around about a week later (full marks for turnaround), a suspiciously knobbly jiffy bag arrived, crooked labels back and front, addressed to me. I was trying to remember what bit of climbing gear I'd forgotten I'd ordered when out tumbled a rather garishly golden Duerrs-branded spoon that looked like Uri Geller had been up his tricks. Bent double, and then back again, its kinked stem sits remarkably well on the side of a jamjar - so no need to lie it down and make a sticky splodge on the tablecloth. Every B&B should have one. (An idea, perhaps, for the overs?) In the few days between ordering and receiving my spoon, the supermarket's low-loader had arrived with our weekly online shop. 'Thought we'd try some new jams and stuff.' A selection of tall, thin jars with exotic superfillings like cherry and blueberry, brands I'd never heard of. Staggeringly, they've gone down a storm with the kids and grown-ups alike, and - guess what? - the Duerrs spoon works really well for reaching right down inside them (the tall jars, not the kids). Wooden spoon? Well - accompanying the Duerrs spoon inside its bog-standard jiffy bag was a selection of zilch. Yes - or rather no - fresh air only. No coupons, no leaflet, not even a comp slip. No nice little gift-box (just a bit of protective poly). No nothing. What a great opportunity to keep the Mt Difficulty crew brand-loyal to Duerrs... to introduce us to new products in the range... to incentivise us to get out there and buy some more. It's a hard world and a fast-moving one. There's a war going on out there, and every week the consumer's loyalty runs the gauntlet of enemy fire. Sales Promotion is a shield one shouldn't leave behind.

Logo Nogo

A backhanded compliment this week for the marketing industry, as Big Gov unveils its plans to banish logos from cigarette packaging. "Point of sale advertising works," they declare, "But we want to hear everyone's views first." Well, mine - for what it's worth - is this: of course it does. Just ask your nearest shopkeeper. As usual in cases like this I'm thinking 'Are we supposed to be surprised, delighted, relieved, by the uncovering of this great revelation?' Of course, good advertising, design, promotion, works. We couldn't possibly have been pulling the wool over all those clients' eyes for all these decades if it was all just one great job-creation scheme. Good marketing sells! On which note, surely here's an opportunity for some opportunistic *** manufacturer to beat the rush to 'No Logo' ciggies. May as well be first into the market with plain type. And how about a new brand name while they're at it? Since the visual aspect will be diminished, the sound of the word will play a bigger part in persuading the unfortunate smoker it's a good idea to head for that early grave. So we need a nicely concrete name that's easy to remember (a graphic word) and which carries the best possible connotations. Maybe a shorter tube of tobacco, too. Elf Cigarettes, perhaps?

Free petrol? Could be worth a Punto.

Or maybe not. Browsing the sports section of the DT yesterday, I discovered I'd been reading the body copy of a Fiat ad. Evidently the unaccustomed words "Even fuel is free for a year*" had woken me up. Suddenly alert, my next task was to track down the matching asterisk. 

In the process, I realised that actually it mentioned free petrol in the headline, too - just that the headline was made out of fancy slanting coloured graphics, press-ganged into the visual and obviously not intended to be read.

Soldiering on, I worked my way through the small(ish) print at the bottom of the ad... but nothing about free fuel there. On the verge of giving up, just in time I spotted some VERY small print at the top of the page. (Starch was right: messages placed above visuals get significantly less readership than those placed below.)

Straining at the VERY small print, now I discover that the car pictured (£11860 OTR) is not the car being advertised (£8560 OTR)... why do they do that in automotive?  Could it be to undermine the credibility of their sales messages?

They may as well go on to say the petrol deal has strings attached: "*Free fuel will be paid up to a value of £1000" ... something like that, anyway.

It's a Green and White world

I'm sure this headline will make sense when you read the post (at least that's the point I'm hoping to reach), but any possible connection to the Celts' impending title-snatch is purely coincidental.

I think it was Hercule Poirot who said (so to speak) 'Once is a coincidence, twice is a connection' and so I can't help noticing that all of a sudden I'm surrounded by promotions and ads that have taken on a sheepishly green hue (if there's such a thing).

The 'greenness' in each case is a hasty affection for all things British. Nationwide and Tesco are giving away Great Days Out; Walkers have billions of Brit Trips up for grabs; Bulmers, with great British production values, exhort us to soak in (sic) the British summer; and even little old Belvoir Fruit Farms (that's 'Beaver', apparently) are bestowing trips to British Sporting Classics. Just where these days can you find a Maldive when you want one?

The cynic in me can't help suspecting there's some sort of bandwagon rolling here. Isn't it amazing how quickly brands will jump aboard when the latest politically correct charabanc begins to gather momentum?

I hate to use the generally pretentious phrase 'joined up thinking', but when it comes to greenness - and carbon footprints and food miles and all that - as a nation and an industry within it we're about as joined up as my four-year-old's first attempts at writing. (Second thoughts, less so.)

I suppose the fattening-food and booze manufacturers are glad at least to divert the spotlight away from their own inherent problems, and to maroon centre-stage something that can instead be blamed on 'the powers that be'. But I feel - as they say where I come from - we're all over the 'ockey on this one... at a time when tens of thousands of Man U and Chelsea fans are burning up the jetoil, when we've just had the blue half of Glasgow empty itself down the M6 and pour into Manchester (where some clearly felt at home), I really wonder if average Joe consumer will feel the slightest obligation or desire to buy into the idea of 'Stay at Home Britain'.