Having been downed by some hostile variant of swine flu over the past few days I've been methodically working my way through the healthcare fixtures of my local stores. Trouble is, it's me that's been doing the 'working' and not the various patent remedies. Okay - perhaps that's harsh. Take cough mixture (literally, metaphorically)... and what happens? It works. You cough. And cough. And cough. Who am I to complain when it does what it says on the tin? But seriously, you probably get the gist. Yet I sit (propped up) and scratch my head. How do they get away with selling all these things that don't actually do what they claim? When I write ads that are the tiniest bit risque, hyper-cautious marketers and lawyers come seething out of the woodwork to eliminate the idea... yet where were they when I needed them to delist these useless products? When you think about it, it's an extraordinary indictment upon marketing when a handful of brands are able to promote themselves on the grounds that they actually work. We still live in the age of snake oil. Look around your home and see just how many examples you can find: whitening toothpaste, anti-wrinkle cream, carpet spot-remover, child politener.... then all the packaging that either doesn't open without resorting to power tools, or that tears nowhere near the tear-strips and gives you paper-cuts into the bargain. Thankfully, there are some things that do work, and - to cut a long story short - I feel my cough returning so I'm just off into the garage for that trusty tin of WD40.