I heard on the radio that shopkeepers in one part of the country have received mysterious threats to the effect that, should they promote Christmas goods too early, then the worst will happen. As far as I know, 'the worst' wasn't specified. It did strike a chord, though, as earlier that day among the junk on the doormat I'd noticed my first Christmas offer of 2009: Good Housekeeping (not mine, you understand) suggesting you should 'Get Christmas All Wrapped Up' by sending some unsuspecting acquaintance a year's subscription. Groan. I hope the awkward squad don't get one. I can sympathise - both from a personal and professional perspective - if only we could just have Christmas in December life would be so much simpler and I'm sure we'd sell more. As someone who's never needed more than Christmas Eve to do the shopping, I am bemused by these people who tell you they've got it sorted as soon as they're out of the traffic jams on the August Bank Holiday (maybe the traffic jams are caused by everyone going to Bluewater to get their presents?). As anyone in SP will testify, sales promotions work best as short-term activities, and a key part of their appeal is their novelty. Novelty, by definition, is short-term - and for proof of its benefits, ask yourself why Cadbury only sells Creme Eggs between January and Easter. Christmas, too, is about novelty and - as arguably the world's biggest sales promotion - should be protected as such. While no one could condone the type of campaign alluded to in the opening, you can't help wondering if it's the ghost of Guy Fawkes having had enough of being upstaged.