August 2009 - Posts - Devil's Advocate - Blogs

Broadband threat to Bovril

According to The Guardian 81% of people working in the West Midlands would up and leave if their job permitted - the idea being that universal broadband might one day make such a Brummie exodus possible - with the East Midlands faring almost as badly in the reported popularity stakes amongst its discontented denizens. Apparently it's the lure of the coast that does it, with Devon and Cornwall being the main attraction - although the report indicates there's 3 million who want to come to Scotland. Hoots Mon! Products, such as the above-mentioned meaty staple could suffer catastrophic declines in sales, with the likes of Melton Mowbray pork pies swapped for Cornish pasties, and Banks' Bitter given a good tanking by Caley's Deuchars IPA. The survey - commissioned by Orange - just goes to show how ridiculous market research can be, and highlights the difference between useless statistics and good common-sense and intuition that any marketer worth their salt possesses. As a regular visitor to the Midlands, I have to say, I can't think of a more contented bunch of Brits anywhere in the land, and the idea that they'd up sticks and scarper is - like their favourite meal of chicken vindaloo - best taken with a good pinch of salt.

Posted Aug 31 2009, 07:10 PM by Ian Moore with no comments

Hoots Mon

I've often heard a Scot use the expression 'Och Aye' (although never the apocryphal 'Och Aye the Noo', despite much encouragement on my part), but it was its near-relative in the headline above that leapt to mind as I was perusing the porridge pack this morning. (Well, it beats the news.) I'm always on the look out for vaguely white-coloured Caledonian connections, as potential partners for the annual VisitScotland Winter White campaign (pause to blow trumpet - the most-acclaimed promotion of 2009 with 4 Awards at this year's ISP), and a bowl of oats with fresh Scottish milk seems a pretty good fit. Damn fine oats, too - Sainsbury's organic - and I was just thinking we must get in touch, when I read the blurb. Here it is: "For generations Scots have been successfully bracing themselves against the cold and damp with a delicious porridge to keep the furnaces burning. We source our oats from Scotland because the rainy climate is ideal for plumping up the oats. And plump oats put a better tasting porridge in your bowl." Does the copywriter secretly work for VisitEngland! Don't they know Edinburgh has the same rainfall as Rome? (And you save on the factor 50.) Hoots Mon!

Posted Aug 19 2009, 12:32 PM by Ian Moore with no comments

The unadvertised mind

I've read that we're exposed to between 254 and umpteen thousand commercial messages every day. Last week, in foreign climes, I'd thought I'd try an experiment - is it feasible to go 7 days without encountering an ad or a promotion? No tv or radio, no newspapers or magazines, no wifi or email... mission impossible? Surprisingly not. Trapped within a rather pleasant resort, pinned down by that big yellow thing I'd almost forgotten about (the sun... and not the tabloid version), I soon realised that all I had to do was resist the schoolboy temptation to stare whenever one of those little planes buzzed over dragging a banner through the blue yonder (in any event, printed in words unintelligible to me), or avert my eyes each time I sauntered past one of my less strong-willed fellow holidaymakers, lying like a hollow-cheeked smoker in the ominous shadow of a Daily Telegraph or similar, unable to resist their fix. Who cares who won the Test? Swine flu - what's that? Recession... yawn. And it almost worked... 5 days in and (provided one didn't count the brochures for hot stone massages and analysing one's golf swing) my brain was becoming remarkably accustomed to... well, nothing really. It was great. I was just beginning to think I'd last out the week... when, searching for a small round dimpled white ball in a clump of tastily laden fig trees, finally emerging defeated but replete with figs onto the last tee... and there it was: The €1million Hole-in-One Challenge! Unmissable, Impactful, Irresistible! Attractive girl waiting to take your money, video camera at the ready just in case you fluked it. Naturally I didn't make it, but it was with a wry smile that I returned the clubs... trust good old SP to break through firewall and come up with something a bit different to boot.

Posted Aug 16 2009, 02:50 PM by Ian Moore with no comments

It's not like Tesco to resort to euphemism

What does 'Rounded Down' mean to you? When I saw the POS in Tesco yesterday I was firstly intrigued to discover this dusty expression from school maths textbooks has sneaked onto the supermarket shelf, and secondly by the maths itself (or perhaps I should say arithmetic). Soon I'd spotted lots of prices 'Rounded Down', but...... not as we know it. Just to take one example, a pack of Vanish had a shelf talker announcing "£3 - Rounded Down Prices." Well, a nice round price, certainly, a lucky prime number and all, but upon closer investigation the small print revealed it had been rounded down from £4.17. At this point I pictured my maths teacher and his red pen. Now - you can't criticise Tesco for giving such a good price cut (unless of course you're of the school that believes Ehrenberg's studies proving discounts undermine brand loyalty), but one can't help wondering if they're underplaying their hand. Forgetting for the moment that the average reading age of supermarket shoppers is eleven, with maths trailing somewhere behind, and thus the possibility that 'Rounding' is not everyday currency as a concept.... forgetting all that.... it doesn't strike me as the most powerful proposition. A price cut from £4.17 to £3 means that for your £3 you effectively get 40% EXTRA FREE (okay, rounded up from 39%). Technically you're probably not allowed to say this (although I don't know it if has been tested), but to me it smacks more acutely of the price war, the law of the jungle, the ring the machete... unlike the gently bucolic pastime of rounding.... which for me conjures images of my retirement, a panama hat and a butterfly net!

Posted Aug 02 2009, 11:08 AM by Ian Moore with no comments

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