July 2008 - Posts - Devil's Advocate - Blogs

Institutionalised Fakism

So now it's Auntie that's been caught out faking it. A galaxy of stars find their shows have fallen victim to the 'editorial lapse', Liz Kershaw 17 times no less (but not the same night, I hope). I'm beginning to wonder if this affliction of the media is not actually some addiction, so long has it been running as a recurring theme. ............................................................................................................................................................................. From the safety of the moral high ground of the 'professional' SP industry, it's been easy to view these so-obviously 'illegal' promotions as irrelevant. "They're not pukka SP... the newspapers and scratchcard boys have been getting away with them for years... they don't count as proper marketing." 'Nake no Totice,' as Thingumy and Bob would say. The trouble is, people do. ............................................................................................................................................................................. These campaigns - whether it's scratchcards, press promotions, ITV and GMTV phone-ins... and now the Beeb - ARE 'proper' marketing. They take place on such a scale and with such audience reach and frequency that they're the primary marketing activities with which most Brits interact. And I say that ahead even of broadcast advertising. And never mind that few purists would classify them even as marketing... it's what Joe Public thinks of as marketing that counts. ............................................................................................................................................................................. The corollary is twofold: firstly an easier path for those who would restrict marketing activities (the 'German' argument that they represent unfair competition, unrelated to product or service, as opposed to the free market case that total liberty to promote enhances competition and benefits the consumer), and secondly less response from the consumer - a pincer attack that will continue to diminish the standing, credibilty and effectiveness of marketing in general and SP in particular. Great 'honest' promoters like Coke, Kellogg and Walkers will find themselves tarred with the tacky brush of fakism. ............................................................................................................................................................................. Auntie has been landed with a £400k fine, modest compared to ITV's whacking £5.5m penalty. Apparently this is because it's public money and the BBC never ripped anyone off - neither of which stand up to much scrutiny: so what if it's public money (surely the fine stays in the public arena?), and how does paying for a phone call to enter a competition you can't win count as not being conned? But the trouble is, I don't believe fines will make any difference to public perception (they merely help to publicise the mass deception). What's needed, as I've said before, is a transparent and highly visible approach to the selection of winners of prize promotions. Not rocket science, just a small degree of effort... maybe a phone call to the ISP?

Posted Jul 31 2008, 11:07 AM by Ian Moore with no comments

How many marketers does it take to change a light bulb (pack)?

Having recently blogged about promotions you can't win, my in-store lie-detector this week randomly turned its beady beam onto long-life light bulbs - or, as they should more accurately be called, not-really-very-long-life light bulbs. I've been buying these things for some time now, in the genuine belief that when a big red flash on the pack states "10 years", it means the light bulb lasts lit for 10 years. After all, isn't this the great age of "it does what it says on the tin"? Apparently not. ................................................................................................................................................................................................ If I may enlighten you - should you labour under the same misapprehension - when it says "10 years" it really means 1.14 years. (That's the equivalent in years to the 10,000 hours the microscopic print on the back of the pack - Philips in this case - reveals to be the true life of the bulb.) How do they do that, then? ................................................................................................................................................................................................ Having had a deckers at the Osram website, it appears that they're all up to the same trick. A so-called "15 year" Osram bulb will last for 15,000 hours (or 1.71 years, to save you doing the mental arithmetic). Here the small print reveals how the optical illusion is achieved: "15 years... 15,000 hours... at 2.7 hrs daily use." 2.7 HOURS DAILY USE? What planet are they on?! The dark side of the moon, it can only be. And certainly not one with kids who - as you may know from bitter bill-paying experience - are genetically programmed to leave lights switched on. I repeat - 2.7 hours! - this is the kind of calculation that could only have any relevance in Reykjavik in high summer. ................................................................................................................................................................................................ It's the garage forecourt equivalent of - instead of the pumps being marked in litres - petrol being sold in "miles". Imagine - you pay your £100, the pump tells you you've got "917 miles". Whacko you think. Then when you run out on the hard-shoulder of the M6, the AA man points out the pump calculations are based on the Prius, and you're driving an 8-cylinder 4.2 litre Chelsea farmer job. What did you expect? ................................................................................................................................................................................................ What you expected, of course, was the seller of the goods to tell the truth. Trades Descriptions Act and all that. These light bulbs - I mean - it's not even as if it's a dodgy promotional offering that never saw the light of ISP. No, it's the standard packaging that's getting away with one almighty whopper. A new definition for the light year, I would observe.

Posted Jul 24 2008, 01:20 PM by Ian Moore with 3 comment(s)

It's a Fanny Old Name

Isn't it amazing how new characters can leap from the shadowy wings to seize the limelight upon marketing's well-trodden boards? I suppose you could say brands like Amazon and Google did this, although it's surely much easier in an emerging sector - no old favourite acts against whom to vie for fans. To gain recognition in an established market takes something special... and I've long pondered on the role of brand names in this regard. ...................................................................................................................................................................................... The likes of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter and Cillit Bang (and maybe even Billy Bob) spring to mind - I'm sure you can think of a few more. But what prompted me to the subject this week was the sudden emergence across the pond of an unlikely sounding double-act going by the stage-names of Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae. What a delight to hear pompous Radio 4 newsreaders squirm as they stumbled over their lines, half-wondering if some backroom script-bod was having a laugh at their expense! ...................................................................................................................................................................................... But no... but yes... but... it's true. In that most serious of nations, they really do have two trillion-dollar lenders with names from The Waltons. And now - since they're apparently run by the same brand of comedians that commentators are heckling throughout the credit-crunched world - we've all heard of them, daft names to the fore. ...................................................................................................................................................................................... You have to admit, though (or at least give credence to the hypothesis), this news story wouldn't have had half the impact if it had been about some dry old august institutions, The Federal Home Loan Mortgage Corporation and The Federal National Mortgage Association (to give them their correct epithets). Yawn. In one ear and out the other. ...................................................................................................................................................................................... But Freddie and Fannie really left their mark. (I'm wondering if George Bush came up with these titles... but apparently they date from 1970 and 1938 respectively, so it's a bit of a long shot.) Not exactly an NPD success story, I know... but I can't help feeling it's an educational, real-life example of the cut-through than can be achieved through a message (in this case their names) that is genuinely distinctive.

Posted Jul 16 2008, 08:03 PM by Ian Moore with no comments

Promotions. You can't win.

Seriously - you can't. (The pack says yes, but the computer says no.) What I'm talking about are promotions that have effectively expired, yet still affect to entice the consumer with their offers of great rewards. Ironically, what set out to be a measure to protect the public has become a loophole through which the unscrupulous promoter can sneak an excessively extended but empty exhortation. Indeed, today's straw poll in Sainsbury's revealed there's a worrying number out there that are not doing the SP industry any favours. The 'trick' is the so-called 'late draw', a final prize awarded often months after the main activity closes, designed to sweep up any tardy entrants, and to enable an offer that accidentally sticks around on the shelves still to be valid. You'll have one too, if your Agency knows its oats. And that's all well and good - especially for products like soft drinks whose sales in summer lie at the mercy of the unpredictable British weather. (Actually, quite predictable!) But some promotions seem to be rather taking the mickey. I just found Pepsi multi-packs blaring out about "Win £1,000 Every 90 Minutes", when actually the 90-minute bit closed almost 2 months ago, on 21 May. All that remains is a miserly monthly draw for the remainder of the year. "Win £1,000 Every Forty-Four Thousand or so Minutes." Quite a come-down. Robinson's squash is offering "VIP Family Passes to Wimbledon 2008" - not surprisingly an activity that passed championship point on 19 June! Buxton mineral water's offer of "Win a £20,000 Home Makeover" put up the "Sold" signs on 22 June (won by one lucky Karen Moran). And Fanta's "Want it? Win it!" became "Want it? Bin it!" on 29 June. Ouch. This hurts. Already basking in the reflected ignominy of the appalling misdemeanours committed by organisations who apparently wouldn't know the CAP Code from the Highway Code, this is not the time for the SP industry to be running offers that stretch the rules at the expense of the consumer. Sure, there might be a logical argument for the campaigns I've described... but remember, you can't win an argument.

Posted Jul 09 2008, 07:04 PM by Ian Moore with no comments

The trouble with cash

The soft drinks market is awash with promotions just now - as it should be this time of year. Perusing the offerings, my eye was caught by three of the brands with cash prizes on offer: Vimto, Ribena and Pepsi. While ostensibly they target different audiences, in the supermarket we're talking adult consumer, like it or not - a single purse or wallet from which to get your share. ............................................................................................................................................... Vimto's proposition is to win £10,000 - one prize, drawn at random from entrants to an online Cluedo game. Oddly, the url on the pack doesn't seem to work. (There's also a second-tier offer for a special edition of Cluedo, at £9.99 - but that's another story.) The trouble with cash - cash prizes, that is - is that sooner or later someone comes along and trumps you. ............................................................................................................................................... Sure enough... further down the fixture there's Ribena: "Win £1,000 a day." It says there's £94k up for grabs, with a grand a day from 1 July to 1 October. (I make that 93 days, but maybe there's a secret formula in action.) ............................................................................................................................................... Just when Ribena think they've cracked it... along comes Pepsi: "Win a £1,000 every 90 minutes." Take that, Mary Queen of Scots. Indeed, the Pepsi budget dwarfs its competitors, £308k by my calculations. (Although 'curiously' - euphemism - the 90-minute bit only lasted from 22 April to 21 May... after that it switched to a single draw for £1k a month... but you have to fight your way through the small print to discover this fact.) ............................................................................................................................................... Quite a bevy of promotional beauties... revealed as not all that they're got up to be when you get close enough. But the average shopper doesn't generally go in for this kind of sleuthing job, so it's often the prettiest face that wins the admirers. ............................................................................................................................................... Of course, it would be ingenuous of me to act like I think promotions are just trying to stimulate a one-off purchase. As we all know, they're many times more effective at generating repeat participation (and preferably repeat purchase). Looked at in this light, some of the mechanics have been thought out more thoroughly than others.

Posted Jul 01 2008, 06:03 PM by Ian Moore with no comments

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July 2008 - Posts

Institutionalised Fakism

How many marketers does it take to change a light bulb (pack)?

It's a Fanny Old Name

Promotions. You can't win.

The trouble with cash

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