‘Drinks suppliers’ pleas fall on deaf ears as stores crank up promotions.’  This dust-encrusted Christmas-decoration-of-a-headline from the current issue of The Grocer must first have been penned some 20 years ago, and carefully mothballed after a brief appearance each subsequent Festive Season.  Well, it saves a bit of work for the hacks… in fact I’m sure it’s the same article as I read last year…

Okay, the intervening 12 months have probably seen more column inches than ever devoted to the perils of alcohol consumption, our secret suburban wine-slurping epidemic, and proposed sanctions and taxes to drive this blight from Blighty’s shores, but come December and – plus c’est la meme chose – the shops are bursting with booze.  Gondola ends tower with pallets creaking under the six-packs, twelve-packs and twenty-four-packs.  Placards plaster the fixtures with a dizzying array of discounts.  And shoppers oblige by the trolley-load, their cars’ shock-absorbers groaning a tell-tale and perhaps final farewell from the store parking lot.

It rather recalls the Fast Show: ‘Me, the 13th Duke of Wybourne, here?  In a student nurses’ halls of residence?  With my reputation?’  When Stella and its like are so cheap that even shoplifters have given up trying to steal it, why is anybody surprised that we live in Binge Britain?  In one of my ‘NEWAIDA’ lectures I talk about the importance of giving your customer permission to say yes when faced by the fear of impending cognitive dissonance (apologies for the jargon).  Well, 74p a pint – or let’s say about one fifth of the regular supping price – equals permission big style.

When the big retailers’ shares are probably propping up most pension funds, who wouldn’t want them to get their slice of the Christmas cake?  The latest Guinness trade ad boasts how it will boost category value.  They’re the key words that seem to appeal to every retail buyer.  If I’m right they translate to getting consumers to spend more money on booze.  With what seems like half the nation’s production, distribution, retail and leisure infrastructure dedicated to this end – and quite obviously so – it perplexes me that there’s any cause for complaint… other than the suggestion that ‘the industry’s’ exhortations in the direction of responsible drinking are somewhat disingenuous.