Campaign

So if British Airways wanted to move their ad account into Campbell Lace Beta without a pitch, would you say "thanks but no thanks, we've got too much on our plate right now"??

Exactly.  We'd say 'thanks, but no thanks.' However if British Airways said they'd like to move their business into our agency in say, six months time, we'd be very happy to have a chat. So long as Thomas Cook didn't see it as a conflict, of course. R&G.. p.s. you are currently front runner for winning our £1000 prize.

I like lemons

look into this comment, not around the comment, look directly at the comment. 1, 2, 3 now your under...give us a job aaannnnd AWAKE

Robert, You are indeed a rare breed. Not many can lay claim to knowing celebs who want to remain anonymous! Don't build them a website,  get your publicity-shy celebs a job at Channel Five. No one will ever know they're there.

It should, of course, be "bonne chance" .... which I think fails to qualify in any of the prize-winning categories.

Nice attempt at scarcity marketing Robert ... now say something suitably Campbell-ish & I might feel inclined to comment.  ... Andy Jones must surely win something for pedantry

Glad to hear it's all going so well. If you need any help you know where we are....bundaylilley@hotmail.com

I know Im over 50. God, I remember DDB closing for new business in the late 70s. Bloody disaster. To be hot is to be on fire. To be closed is to be extinguished. Come on my talented friends, make hay, and through the inflamible energy which you have, make the sun continue to shine. xxx

Robert, your brief says you will award £1000 to the most interesting, amusing, useful, useless, outrageous comment posted on our blog during the month of October. Not exactly single-minded is it? With a brief like that, no wonder you're closing your doors to new clients, you're starting to think like one. However, with £1000 up for grabs, I'll attempt to be your interesting, amusing, useful, useless, outrageous creative whore with an insatiable appetite for the ubiquitous open brief. Love it. Thank you. How big do you want your logo? That big? No worries. Tell you what, let's push the boat out, I'll make even bigger than that. Pass me that box of tissues, will ya?

I think you should hold on to the £1000 and save it for a Creative Technologist. A senior one who knows the technology and can be client facing with strategy as well. The good ones don't come cheap.

Excellent point Syed. Excellent point. (Currently my four year old son is fulfilling the role and although clients really like him the social services are threatening to get involved.)

Bob. Here's a three word brief for you - Must try harder. ;-)

Guys, I think I'm onto something!

I've done a quick analysis of people responding to this post and I can't believe you haven't noticed this... out of eight unique respondents (at time of writing) six are wearing ORANGE JUMPERS and...wait for it, all six are also wearing WHITE BOW TIES!

Could this be the beginning of some sort of cult following? Or is this another fashion trend I've missed (although frankly I'm not wild about orange in any case, and proper bow ties are still a bit fiddly first thing in the morning).

I'll be keeping my eyes peeled for any other noteworthy observations and you can be sure I'll be posting them here.

TTFN

I say old thing, you're not bored with this gig already are you?

Martyyn. Bored? Hardly. Its just that we've 'got some brilliant clients who deserve our full attention. Don't want to let them down. R.x

Oh. So you’re back are you?

And you expect us just to be waiting?

God, you changed.

First it was all, ‘We’re different. We’re not like all the others.’

And we believed you. We admired you.

At an age when most would expect you to be pruning roses and wondering if your buggy had enough charge to get you to the shops and back, you said ‘damn it, let’s do it all again.’

And at first, you did seems different.

Did you follow everyone east to the land of the rising bagel? No, you stayed in Soho.

Did you have a glossy, arty picture more touched up than a Hooters waitress? No, you had one that made Garry look like he’d just hung up his sheepskin after shifting that nice little Escort and Robert like he’d just been bowled out by Tim Rice in a match against the Bunburrys.

We believed it all. We wanted to.

And then came the honeyed words.

You sidled up to us and whispered, ‘We’ll cook you breakfast,’ like a pair of Riviera gigolos praying on the desperate and unstable.

And we fell for it, letting ourselves be dragged into an orgy of Danish and Ketchup.

For some of us there was even the Friday phone call, teasing with promises of the illicit delights of a brief the following week.

And then nothing.

And yet still we wanted you.

Some to the point of doing work on the product and sending it, just to show how keen and worthy of your attention we were.

And it wasn’t even acknowledged. Not even a returned call. Ironic that for a sanitizing product it left us feeling so.. so dirty.

And still we clicked on every morning to let ourselves be tantalized by your gossamer words.

All the while wondering if you were laughing at us behind you bacon sandwiches all along.

And then, out of the blue, ‘We’re turning red.’

And nothing more from you for nearly a month.

‘Maybe they didn’t mean Red. Maybe they meant invisible,’ we told ourselves as we checked the link over and over again, like a lovelorn teen at the letterbox on Valentines.

Oh, the excuses a wanting heart will tell the brain.

Then came the rushed message, ‘We’re really busy.’

‘Oh, they haven’t forgotten us, they’ve just been busy,’ we lied to ourselves.

And then a week later we bump into you again. And this time you’re rushing around manic and wide eyed, having the time of your life, crying, ‘We love Coke!’

And we realise you’re just like all the others in this business.

And now you’re here again.

‘Oh they’ll take us back,’ you laugh to yourselves, ‘We’ll tell them we’ll show them a good time. That we know we’ve neglected them. We’re sorry. We’ll promise them a grand.’

Well. Did you really think we’d just mope around waiting for you?

That we’d get all teary eyed on your return and swoon into your arms?

Did you really think there wouldn’t be others?

Look, the fact is...we’ve been seeing Steve Henry.

There, it’s out in the open. It’s best this way. Clean break and all that.

So that’s it.

Unless..... oh alright. Look maybe we can take it slow.

Yes, we’d still love to see you with our book. If you want to.

Maybe you could leave us a message in your blog.

It’ll be just like when we first met...

Nice one Antoine. Best so far.

Antoine, Robert, long copy is dead. Account no. 14466893. Sort code 13 21 71.

James. That account does not exist.

I love his face.

His ears reddening, his cheeks reddening, when he sees (knows)

He has done something wrong.

I love his changing facial expressions.

I hate myself for even loving the way

his face crumples in such vividly visual disappointment

(in himself, in his toy).

His face speaks a thousand emotions, a thousand words to me.

His thick thatchy hair (so bristly it almost spikes you to kiss his head).

His jagged teeth and square 'little man' jaw.

His wiry, robust and strong little body.

I want him to get the stars of achievement.

I want him to read his high frequency words.

I want him to reach the rainbow square on his reward chart.

I want his teachers to like and understand him.

I want other children to love him as I do.

He is so funny,

So ... different.

I fear he will choose never to fit in

and be lost forever.

I hold his little warm hand.

My heart is fierce with protective love;

Not sloppy,

I am fighting my love

To help him understand the sorrow of having to 'fit in'.

To 'do as he is told'.

To be 'like the others'.

To crush his exuberant madness,

his brainwaves,

his creative force

To crunch him up,

Tight,

in a box

Like school and society want.

Controllable, bland vanilla boy.

Keep a bit of your wackiness.

You have no idea how much of a comfort it will be when you are older.

Hang on, Robert, is your mum pretending to be Jacqueline Steel? The description seems to fit

...I love his face.

His ears reddening, his cheeks reddening, when he sees (knows)

He has done something wrong.

I love his changing facial expressions.

I hate myself for even loving the way

his face crumples in such vividly visual disappointment

(in himself, in his toy).

A mother's love or nepotism?

men please , buckle up, dont suckle up. or *** it up.

Martin T: Was that you I saw the other night wearing a slinky dress and stilettos?

Bob - Damn you spotted it. Jaqueline is indeed my mother. I was hoping I could give her the grand. It would pay her gas bills this winter. And keep her in LSD.

actually, you may well be right on reflection. Produce work that makes those clients which have taken the leap of faithin you is worth the risk. You know this business, that is honourable stuff. good luck. xxx

Tell you what. I'll take you for lunch. I'll feed you the most interesting, amusing, useful, useless, outrageous babble to post on your blog. We'll go somewhere nice, you can bring Gary - and I'll pay, but it can't go over a thou.

Robert ... it will take more than rumours of latent tranvestitism to goad me into an interesting comment.  Why don't you revisit the Madison & Vine stuff that you and Mandy Pooler talked about all those years ago?  Arguably it is even more relevant today.

A grand buys you half a day of my time, longer if you choose the afternoon and we go drinking in the eveinng.

Ivan. A grand for half a day! That's ten grand a week, forty grand a month. Four hundred and eight grand a year not excluding toilet breaks. You must be so good. Irony, you deserve to win the grand but obviously don't need it. Irony, irony, all is irony isn't it Ivan?

eighty I mean

If I won the £1000, I would do something…..

interesting, like taking Stephen Fry’s agent to lunch and asking him, “If Stephen’s so bloody clever, why do you insist on booking him a succession of banal gigs that Tony Blackburn could do?”

Or, amusing, like convincing the Pope to go on

The Vatican’s Got Talent.

Or, useful, like giving it all to world aid to help current disaster victims.

Or, useless, like running for Parliament on a ‘common sense prevails’ ticket.

Or, outrageous, like betting it all on Great Britain getting more medals than anyone else in 2012.

These are all works in progress so you'll have to bear with, but maintain that I will indeed follow through with said proposals, should you choose me...

1)  I am nominated the £1000, but only as a guardian, to which I then evenly spread the allotted money around all who posted on this blog. I shall therefore become Chief Philanthropist of Campaign Live. The Melinda to your Billy Gates.

...This is only if you give me a job.

2)  I am allotted the £1000 to pursue a potential account, through my unlimited breadth of contacts (poking them on facebook). This account that has to be approved by all partners and one whose work will not take anymore than a designated lunch hour, once a month. The account must not be in conflict with existing accounts and has to be obtained by Christmas.

            ...This is only if you give me a job

.

3)  I use the £1000 to hire out a local town hall (of your choosing, preferably one of rigorous faith) to perform Jesus Christ Superstar in the style of Steven Berkoff, dressed only in a pair of River Island Khaki shorts and Cher wig. Using my vast ‘celebrity contacts’ (again, poking them on facebook) I arrange for at least one star spot to play the role of Judas Iscariot. Rumoured to be interested – the child who famously queried ‘Accrington Stanley, who are they?’ and Kenny Powers (Google him).

...This is only if you give me a job.

4)  In a shameless and shallow attempt at guerrilla/presence/experiential marketing, I change the £1000 into £5 notes and write two clients of your choosing on both sides. I then release the money at the top of Carnaby Street, in a mad dash attempt to comment on society’s ill-fated desperation and materialism in the face of an ongoing economic downpour. Using my natural account management nuance I will spin the campaign so they will automatically associate the concerned brands with a shining beacon of luck that they were there that day. Positive brand recognition, literally on the ‘money’ (jargon, I feel dirty).

....This is only if you give me a job.

5) You give me a job anyway and the money goes to someone who actually deserves it.

The proverbial tennis ball, has bounced into your side of the net.

hello - THE MAN in the sky here.

Robert/Gary - i have been reading your blog with interest over the past months and i have one or two comments.

well done - i love your passion and drive (coz like me you're old), which goes to show it's all in the mind and there is life in advertising after 30.

you're creating something from nothing (a bit like me with creation) and you're not afraid to start from scratch, even tho you've done it already, many times over.

Albion - you seem pretty good (lots of potential) but looking a bit arrogant, you could learn a thing or two from R&G's humility, which you seem to see as a weakness?

you come across as if you invented 'all things new' maybe it's because you're young and a tad immature.

i'd like to point out creatives were writing virals 10 yrs ago, at agencies like BBH.

yes you have done a great job with Skype - but in the UK face book has a higher profile. an intelligent agency would be asking what more could we be doing? not saying look at us... na na na na na na... and how great we are, because we've already done all this.

you've got a lot more to do, before you get anywhere near what R&G and other creatives with their level of experience have already achieved.

your smug point, about the guys signing off with a phone number rather than a Skypename.

isn't the idea Skype want to reach the people who aren't already using Skype? could it be R&G (and people like them) might be better placed to understand the hurdles Skype have to jump, to reach that audience.

if i was the client, based on your comments, i would be worried you may laugh at and patronise those people (i don't have Skype up here and i need to reach people all over the globe - yes i've heard of it, but am yet to be convinced i need it)

i also noticed, on your website, you are asking people to come up with ideas for Skype as part of a job application.

have R&G panned you for it? accusing you of having no ideas of your own. no they're gentlemen, all they've done to you is invite you to a peace making breakfast and i'm glad to see you've accepted.

so why am i bringing all this up now? well i just thought someone, for your own good, should point out you're coming across a tad superior.

Antoine De Git - Steve, is that you? hmmm... trying to drum up a bit of action are you? - i can see everything up here you know - ever considered going into PR?

R&G - i think you promised yourselves the 1000 somewhere at the start of this - you can't do that.

if you give it to me, i'll pass it on to Nabs and the home for retired ad folk without a mansion.

that's all for now... more on 'has advertising lost it's soul?' later...

but remember, i'm watching you all and it's only the good people who'll get their mansion in the sky.

Ah no, Original man in the sky, I'm not Steve.

But you may know me by my gait, my slight squint and the faint aroma of anchovy mustache wax (and before someone posts the question, no, I'm not Tiger Savage before the re-touchers).

In response to Clare’s comment I find myself wondering whose balls do I have to lick to get a £1000? Robert? Gary? Conversely, as a busy agency, I’d imagine you may find yourself wondering, in the words of Hugh Grant, ‘who do I have to shag to get a good cup of tea and a biscuit round here?’.

2 birds, 1 stone. You may be closed but that doesn’t mean you’re not hiring, does it?! Invest in talent! £1000 (tax free I hope!) and I’ll be the best ugly betty-come-tea lady you’ve ever head (for a month or so). Not to mention aspiring account exec. And I promise should you chose to send the £1000 elsewhere I will accept gracefully rather than breaking out the sandwich board.

Curtains.

Having had the privilege of working with Garry and Robert on Jackpotjoy and a couple of other pitches, I can reassure Claire Beale and others that the wait for their work will be well worth it, its cracking across the board. And as we all know, good work is the best form of new business and I’m sure the decision to draw the curtains for a few months will only make more clients want them.  As for the £1,000, the only advice I can give to Garry is as he pulls back the curtains on new business he uses the money to do the same with his hair.

So, I have been trying to sell to you a new business solution and now you're saying that you're not doing any new business? That is slightly messing with my selling message.

Blowing one's own horn is a most excellent past time.....

I'll only take it if it's in crisp £20 notes.

Closed for new business? A definite move forwards from TGI50 (remember that?) when as I recall you never actually got round to opening for new business. Although you did talk about it a lot in the trade press, as I recall. Now about that £1000 - if you send it make it payable to Help the Aged (yes, really).