Absurdity Rules?

On the back of continuing postal disruption comes the threat of industrial action on British Airways. More will undoubtedly follow, undoubtedly. Commentators are right: Is this 2009 or 1979? Amidst all the economic doom and gloom, rising industrial action and political paralysis, everything certainly seems to be going back to the future at present - albeit without Michael J. Fox and a Delorean.

Many are hoping that the forthcoming Christmas season will see a return of consumer confidence and the beginnings of recovery. My bet’s still on Q3 of next year for the latter, but hey – I and others would be delighted to see a bit of premature recuperation!

That said, if we’re meant to be shopping our way out of recession, maybe Westminster is missing the ultimate sales pop. The United States owes China around US$772 billion, so maybe we should be upping the sovereignty-endangering ante and offering Beijing some sort of lease-back arrangement. A bit like Hong Kong, only in reverse: a 100-year lease over the entire UK, say, for £5 trillion. Cash.

That would work out to about £81,000 per person. Invested wisely, that could work out quite nicely for us Brits. Plus Boris could learn Chinese, the Queen could install a pagoda in front of Buckingham Palace and certain polies could give free reign to their Tiananmen-admiring tendencies and crush union dissent once and for all.

I mean, in a week that’s seen Nick Griffin spouting bollocks on Question Time and Sterling dipping ever-further in value, absurdity rules and anything seems possible.

And not a lot of it good, alas.

The Funniest B.S. Around

Modern life is rubbish

 Ironic, isn’t it? For all Royal Mail’s talk of ‘modernisation’, we’re in for a good, old-fashioned mail strike on October 22 and 23. Oh joy. As if the rolling regional industrial action that has severely affected deliveries in recent months hasn’t been disruptive enough.

I’ve earned the ire of some readers for previously sounding ‘unsympathetic’ towards postal workers. They I do feel for, believe me. Sudden shift changes, pay cuts and the like must be playing havoc with many people’s lives. But at least they still have a job. At last count there’s around 2.47 million Britons who’d give their eye teeth for the opportunity of working odd hours.

As for Royal Mail management and the CWU’s executive… Guys, you’ve collectively had over two years to resolve the grievances that precipitated the last general postal strike in 2007. Issues which, if memory serves, even then had to do with job cuts and modernisation. So WTF have you been doing?

Postal Affairs Minister Pat McFadden is right in saying that ‘a national strike would be completely self-defeating.’ And yet Westminster has been seemingly content to preside over this defeat – to common sense, to workers just wanting to earn a decent buck for a day’s work, to businesses trying to trade their way out of this god-awful recession.

Royal Mail management and the CWU, in my opinion, you both stand guilty of gross acts of inefficiency and ill faith against the British public.

We await their apology.

Hooray for Michael Palin

Notwithstanding that I’m a huge Monty Python fan, and that last week marked the 40^th anniversary of the Flying Circus’ debut on the BBC (I suddenly feel old typing that!), Michael Palin’s comments of late that Britain should stop apologising for its colonial past had me applauding.

His ’10 achievements to be proud of’, which include not insignificant little gems like parliamentary democracy (#1), the English language (#4) entrepreneurs (#8), and yes, even cricket (#10), were a breath of fresh air after years of PC thuggery which have deliberately downplayed Britain’s cultural, social and political legacy across the Commonwealth and beyond.

So taking a page from Mr Palin’s book (his latest, Halfway to Hollywood, is a fun read, incidentally), below is my direct marketing ‘achievements to be proud of’ Top 10. These lest we forget the marketing savvy we accumulated in the days before digital started touting itself as marketing’s messiah (when, in fact, to paraphrase the Pythons, it’s largely just a naughty boy/girl – take your pick). 

1.            Suppression          

Self-interest aside, allowing marketers to identify deceaseds and gone-aways has saved billions, both in terms of money and the environment. 

2.      Empowering consumer choice         

Right customer, right offer, right time – direct marketing continues to allow consumers to make informed purchase decisions. 

3.      The DMA         

That we have a credible, self-governing industry peak body is something we should all be proud of (while never taking for granted!). 

4.      UK Marketers         

The DM sector employs over 250,000 people and we have some fantastic talent here. Kudos to all those who are maintaining or even increasing market share during this recession. You’re doing a fantastic job. 

5.      Be thankful we’re not the US         

Shame on the 30 per cent or so of UK data base managers who don’t keep their records clean and up-to-date. But compared to the US’ unsuppressed mess, GB’s a paragon of virtue. 

6.      Electoral Roll Access         

Still very important for address verification purposes. But we’d all do well to remember that access is a privilege - not a right – and shouldn’t be abused. 

7.      PAS 2020 and ISO 14001         

PAS 2020 and ISO 14001 both have helpful checklists to run through when making important marketing decisions concerning targeting, suppression and the use of recycled materials in your campaigns. Sign up and you’ll not only be helping the environment but enhancing your brand image.  

8.      Giving data its due

Even in the days pre-CRM (remember those?), DM was driving data best practice. By cleaning data, avoiding waste, keeping information fit for purpose and obtaining the maximum transactional insight possible, countless DM-er’s have seen their campaign response rates and ROI enhanced.

US DMA = Deep Doo-Doo

 The US Direct Marketing Association certainly seems to be in the wars at present. After a job lot of redundancies earlier this year comes news of a major PR fracas in the trade press, with former board member Gerry Pike baying for blood over the US DMA’s ‘budget-buster dues and conference fees’.

I’ve been privy to some, but not all, of the Stateside DMA machinations, and concede that Mr Pike has a point – the US DMA’s financial and identity pressures are indeed troublesome. But why all this talk of re-branding the Association as the Digital Marketing Association? Given that an estimated 22 per cent of US households have no internet connection (2008 Nielsen Claritas Convergence Audit), and the still millions more are only light users, having the DMA put all of its eggs in one digi-basket is surely a recipe for disaster.

Call me old fashioned, but why is ‘direct’ apparently becoming a dirty word in some quarters? What happened to appropriately tailoring your proposition and choosing the most appropriate marcoms channels for your target audience? Be it via mail, e-mail, SMS, print, inserts, telemarketing or face-to-face – or any combination thereof, for that matter -  why are some advocating jettisoning sophisticated, multi-channelled marketing best practice in favour of a simplistic, digital-dominant marcoms model?

Yes, digital’s a very big and important marketing channel. But unless customer journey mapping and planning has suddenly become entirely redundant,  looking for a ‘magic’ channel bullet when what’s required is constant analysis and innovation is just plain dumb.

So all best wishes to our colleagues at the US DMA. I hope y’all can get your house in order toot sweet. But please resist digital’s alluring siren’s song. Choosing this as your sole focus will end in tears for all concerned, I believe.