"These guys are great ..."

Every now and then you come across a company that just makes you think 'these guys are great' and I want to tell everyone about it. Why can't all companies be like that?

Earlier on today, I needed to take a look at holiday car hire. So I Googled, like you do, to get started and picked www.carjet.co.uk from the three sponsored links my search threw up. I thoroughly expected that I'd then spend the next few days trawling through me-too car hire companies trying to find a deal. But no, the Carjet folks were great. 

Though I had a couple of minor usability issues with their site initially, they carried me along with a refreshing copy style that was easy-reading, straightforward and honest. 

They had an excellent choice of cars and great prices. Unlike a lot of their rivals there don't appear to be any hidden extras either - just a great deal.

They also won me over by recognising where I'm at in the process. They acknowledge that I'll probably look elsewhere and they've emailed me the quote (and held it on their site) for future reference.

But to be honest, they've done such a good job, I don't think I'll bother looking elsewhere - and isn't that a good thing?

So, assuming they can actually deliver me a nice motor when I get off the plane, I'm going to tell everyone how good they are, starting with everyone who reads my blog and everyone who talks to me about holiday car hire.

The best thing of all though is that earning word of mouth recommendations (the best form of marketing there is) like this is easy. All you have to do is try your best to be brilliant at what you do. If you achieve it, your happy customers will soon become your sales force.   

Dear Mr Name

It's nothing personal, but I have to have one final departing pop at VirginMedia.

And the words 'nothing personal' really sum up VirginMedia's approach to customer service. 

Having finally managed to get them to agree to send me a final bill, I received a letter yesterday. It started: 'We're sorry to hear you've decided to leave us. We hope you weren't unhappy with our service.'

Very polite, I'm sure but weren't they listening during those blood boiling phone calls? Didn't they read my complaint letter?

Well, yes, the person who pressed the button probably did but they just didn't have a template that started off: Dear Mr Munro, we're sorry we made a complete mess of things for you and we apologise for the hideous delay in sending you a final bill for £28.51...

If they had (or they'd empowered their diddies to write their own letters) I wouldn't have told you all this and you wouldn't be as unlikely to do business with them as I will be in the future.  

Quel fromage

Last night during Britain's Got Talent (yes, we watched the lot, en famille) there was an ad for feta cheese. What's that all about? Feta cheese with its own TV spot?

So I started ranting about how it was pointless to try to promote one brand of feta cheeses because all feta cheese is pretty much the same, right?

Seemingly not, and my kids were quick to point out that I'd rather missed the whole point of this cheesy proposition.

"Duh, dad, it's already cut into cubes."

How very clever. A feta with it's own USP. They've removed the need for a knife and made it famous by sticking it on TV. That'll get it right up to the top of the cheesy charts, eh?

Now what was it called again?

Specially for me

Yesterday, I got a postcard from Domino's. They had a special offer just for me. So special, in fact, that they specifically asked me not to tell everyone about it.

So special that they sent it with a second class stamp and addressed it to MUNRO/or PIZZA LOVER. 

That's pretty special, eh?

Hello, goodbye

If you’ve read any of my previous posts, you’ll be aware that I’ve been having a few problems with VirginMedia. My lastest brush with Branson’s media bunch suggests that the business is in even more of a pickle than I thought.
To cut a long story short, I’ve been trying to leave as I have now signed up with Sky. I had a phone call earlier in the week from their people and through a combination of speaking very slowly and using short words, I managed to get the girl in the call centre to agree to send me out a final bill and properly disconnect the service. She told me I’d get my bill within 7 to 10 days.

So what did I get this morning? A welcome pack!

Dated 7th June and promising an installation on 6th June it thanked me for coming on board and gave me ‘a few details to help get you off to the smoothest start’. Give me strength.

Could they make this more difficult? Does anyone at VirginMedia know what’s going on? They’re spending lots of money on a recruitment campaign – TV, outdoor, direct mail, online, press – but clearly they’re neglecting fundamental aspects of service delivery. That’s never very clever.

Mind you, maybe their customer retention strategy is simply to not let customers leave. Perhaps it’s a sort of multimedia prison. Maybe if I cry and stamp my feet I’ll get out after three days but alas, I suspect this tale has a few twists in it yet.

Pop idles crave pointless fame

Now that Big Brother is back on our screens, we can re-open the debate about the vacuous form of celebrity that is so popular these days.  

Oh I know it's 'car crash' TV but I find myself drawn to it and while I'm awe-struck with horror at the ludicrous fluffy-headed protagonists and their tantrums over whether there will be enough gas in the hair straighteners to keep them looking vaguely like Victoria Beckham, I'm equally titillated by the opportunity to gawp voyeuristically at their hideously exposed egos. 

But it's the whole fame thing that gets me. Startled Shabnam confessed to Big Bro that after all her efforts during a tough first 5 days she was really ready to go. But, before she did she thought she better check to see if she would 'still get all the deals and stuff ...'

It seems that fame has become something with merit in its own right. If you asked one of these wannabes what they wanted to be famous for, it's more likely they'd respond with a comment about the money and the attention and all the parties than tell you they wanted to be famous for having actually achieved something.

This year's BB seems to have taken the pursuit of shallow celebrity to dizzy new heights. While the old bird sits on the couch with a disgusted look on her face that pretty much sums up the feelings of everyone over 30 in the TV audience, the harem of pouting little madams desperately dream about how famous they'll be when they get back outside.

Fame, clearly, is the commodity they desire more than anything else. Mind you, can you blame them when the currency of celebrity stretches as far as it does these days?

When average talents become global megastars with squillions in the bank, what's going to stop unemployed lap dancers from imagining that they'll be the next IT girl? 

Personally, fame doesn't do much for me though I'll confess I did buy four tins of Dettori's chickpeas and kidney beans at the weekend - each one with a grinning picture of the great Frankie on the side. In my defence, it was a two for one offer, however and a good old BOGOF is more likely to motivate me than any celebrity endorsement.

Maybe I should enquire about a BOGOF from Big Brother and ask him to send over the twins ... 

Virgin on the ridiculous

How hard can it be to cancel a cable TV and phone service? If the provider is VirginMedia, be prepared for maximum frustration.

On Friday, I experienced the daftest ever use of technology in customer servicing.

My phone rang and I answered to find an automaton on the other end of the line. In her best robot voice, like a gender reassigned Stephen Hawking, my mechanical friend says, 'This call is for Mister A-lan mUn-ro. Please press one to confirm that you are Mister A-lan mUn-ro.'

So, I pressed one and regretted it immediately. The next stage of automated scripting informed me in stilted robospeak that I was to be switched to an operator who would deal with the problem on my account.

And then they switched me to MUSIC ON HOLD.

Hey, robo-op, you called me! How come I end up on hold? Two minutes of bland MoR later, I'm in some sub-continental call centre and a dude from Delhi or somewhere equally far away appears to be babbling something about Uranus.

No, no, it's not Uranus. Hang on, slow down tiger, give me that again: "I'm calling to give you awareness that your account has balance overdue."

Hmm. This is a tricky one. How do I explain that I have been trying to leave VirginMedia for two months and despite numerous telephone conversations and a stinker of a letter, they appear completely incapable of sending me a final bill?

Slowly and very deliberately, I spell it out and the message appears to get through. Allegedly, there was even a note on the system about my dispute.

So how come they called me?

My advice to VirginMedia: spend a little less money on those awful Ruby Wax TV ads and a wee bit more on your customer service. And next time you call me, don't put me on hold because I won't be there when the next operator comes free.