I should go on Dragon's Den

That's what everyone tells me. About four times this week in conversation with friends and acquaintances while I've been updating them about my two year struggle to raise finance for a new business they've come up with the suggestion - 'you should go on Dragon's Den'. 

It's like reality TV must have a solution to the unreal activity of trying to raise big money for big ideas in the 'conventional' way. 

Believe me, I'm trying. I've developed the concept, done the logistics, put everything in place, done the marketing planning, created the spreadsheets and the business plans and paraded them all in front of po-faced accountants up and down the land but nobody's quite biting yet.

The Venture Capitalists aren't so keen on start-ups when there are rich pickings out there in deals that are measured in the billions and the entrepreneurs, well, they're all hiding behind their accountants or they're on reality TV.

Maybe I should go on Dragon's Den. 

Small print: who is it for?

I hate small print. You know, those little legal statements that we routinely art direct into a corner in our marketing messages. But who are they for?

i saw the daftest example ever at the weekend in DKNY's ad in the Sunday Times. It's a dumb ad anyway featuring a glaikit looking model in a suit, some black and white photography of New York and a giant DKNY brand. 

Then there's the small print: The Empire State Building is a trademark of Empire State Building Company L.L.C. and is used with permission. 

Eh? Sorry. I thought it was a famous building in New York. I've even been up it. Curious to think that I've been in the lift of a trademark all the way to the viewing gallery.

Anyway, like most small print nobody's actually supposed to read it. It's there so that some lawyer can say 'we told you' when some litigious customer says 'you never mentioned that before'.

So it's not big and it's not clever, it's just tedious.  

Battle for the ballot box taking place in the letterbox

Scotland's politicians are fighting to get their messages heard but the lion's share of their marketing spend seems to be going on DM.

11 different items. That's how many political bits and pieces I received yesterday morning. There were more today too. Door drops, addresed mail, pamphlets, newsletters, you name it, they're dropping through my door.

Our postman must be praying for the 3rd of May and an end to it all. Me too, most if it's junk.

It's hilarious looking at it all from a marketing perspective. There's the Tories' (ahem) 'Oak Tree' branding device which look's like a dirty big thumb print. There are endless attempts at 'direct marketing by numbers' and more calls to action than you'd get at a street corner hustings. Even the Greens are at it - on 100% recycled stock of course. 

As for ugly digital mug shots - don't even go there ...

But the good news for the parties is, it works. Scotland's floating voters can be persuaded and DM is a better way to do it than posters, press or TV. I've been swayed by one of the more active campaigners promoting tactical voting. 

So the message for would be politicians is clear: forget the soap box - if you can master the letter box, you'll be a winner. 

On the ball thinking will benefit Nationwide

While I’m never completely convinced of the benefits of sports sponsorship, you have to admire Nationwide’s twist on the subject with their latest campaign which will see ordinary customers getting the VIP treatment at the international matches the company sponsors.Now that may raise a few eyebrows amongst the Official Blazers and the Part-Time Supporter/Half-Time Prawn Sandwich Munchers but it’s a smart positioning statement from a company that revels in its mutuality.

It’s a clever use of the sponsorship too. If my take on the campaign is right, the customer-owner involvement is at the heart of a PR-riven branding exercise backed by direct marketing and everything driving to a specially created site online.

That all looks to me like joined-up-thinking, which is unusual in the financial services sector. There again, so’s mutuality – which has fallen out of favour with the Stock Exchange obsessed sector. Nationwide’s customers are its owners and the company is solid proof that mutuality is still a viable strategy for success. If their latest campaign can expose the profiteering banks along the way then that can only be good for all of us.  

Why + is a big minus for advertisers

We’re new to Sky+ in my household so you’ll forgive my current exuberance for a product that is changing the way my family consumes television.
At the weekend, my son asked me to record Soccer AM because he had to go to work. On Sunday morning when I emerged all bleary eyed from bed, he was already near the end of the programme. “How long have you been up?” I asked, noticing the Easter Egg debris strewn around the table and the advanced state of the day before's Soccer AM.

“About an hour,” responds junior.

“How can that be?” I replied. “Did you fast forward all the ads?”

“Well, duh! Dad, of course I did. Do you think I'm stupid?”

He has a point.

Pedantic, moi?

Perhaps Marks & Spencer had a question mark hanging over its future for so long that the company developed an aversion to them but is neat typography more important than grammatical convention? 

When Mr Lee’s Chinese Takeaway’s menu popped through my door this morning, I couldn’t help but laugh at some of the copy. ‘Speedy delivery service’ it shouted from the front page with the caveat, ‘(Please order in advance)’. It got better further down the page: ‘With Food Order £25 or Over FREE Bottle of Wine.’ But Mr Lee has an excuse – he’s Chinese and English, presumably, is at least a second language.

What excuse then, will the copywriter on the ubiquitous ‘What’s your M&S’ (sic) campaign make for the annoying omission of the question mark? Clearly the typographer didn’t want some ugly punctuation to spoil the signature block in the bottom right hand corner and won the battle of style over substance.

That little victory is, of course, completely appropriate for fashion advertising which is seldom more than just pictures and labels decoratively arranged. At least the M&S campaign attempts to give potential M&S customers a little more. There’s the inclusion of a price (which you’ll never find in a Louis Vuitton ad), there’s a diminutive attempt at a response device (bottom left hand corner) and there’s that question: What’s your M&S. Unfortunately, I’m not sure I completely understand the question although I think the answer may be ‘cheese scones’.