Brand Republic Community

"Can I cash in this cheque please?"

Lolly and Nat — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 12:28:00 GMT

So last week we heard that we won the Campbell Lace Beta Comment Competition. Hooray. Thank you kindly if you voted for us. We thought James Mitchell's blog pastiche was awesome, and Matt Winn's Downfall parody had us in bits. But we're chuffed to have won. It literally could not have come at a better time finance-wise... So, thanks very much. We still no idea who this mysterious Danny Walsh is though???! Does anyone?

Anyway, last wednesday was the Beta party, where we were presented with our prize; our very own gargantuan oversized cheque.

But then we were given the choice between the cash or the men. It was a tough dilemma, but we chose the cash. No offense Hanzel and Sven. But keep drinking those protein shakes lads, they're working.

Taking our 6ft cheque home was interesting. We were stopped quite a few times in Carbaby Street by passers-by wondering what we had won. And we had some minor difficulties boarding the bus home.

Thank you Robert and Garry for bringing a line in our second film to life. Although, we're having a little trouble getting the cheque to clear - they said it will take between 400 and 500 working days. Ba doom ching.

A slap in the face

steve henry — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 09:12:00 GMT

I went to Albion the other day to do a bit of honest non-execing and found the door locked in my face.

Hang on, I thought. Have they finally figured out that I'm a useless fraud and decided to keep me out of the agency at all costs ?

Would there be people with placards saying “Go Home Henry” ?

Well as it happened, the door was locked not just to me but to everybody. Because they'd done a bit of work so provocative that they needed police protection.

It was a website that allowed you to slap a video of Nick Griffin as he preached to the Ku Klux Klan in the US. One of the creatives came up with the idea during the Question Time programme and had built it by the following morning.

It had to be pulled after 4 days because it was attracting very threatening calls to the agency. But it had also attracted 22,145,836 hits - Griffin was being slapped 2,000 times a second with a new unique visitor every second. It was linked to from about 1,300 online sources, the main one being Facebook with 22,000 referrals. There's also been thousands of tweets.

And the agency was threatened with physical violence, which was why the door was locked.

Now for me this is EXACTLY what a great agency does. Get stuck into culture, have an opinion, have a great creative idea, and get it out there fast.

And make sure to stir it up. Using the wonderful world of social media.

I'm getting sick of saying this, but 90% of advertising goes out there and does nothing at all.

(I heard a figure the other day for what the average ROI is for marketing in this country. I can't tell you the figure because I've been sworn to secrecy for now - but it's diabolically low.)

Only a tiny proportion of marketing comms are interesting enough to elicit a response.

Because most approval processes are designed to try to avoid making "mistakes" - a completely pointless exercise - as opposed to seeking to stand out.

If the partners at Albion had considered all the repercussions, they might have thought twice about doing this.

But they got 22 million hits.

Big ideas take risks.

It’s strange really. We talk up the idea of entrepreneurs – but the ad industry finds every way it can to take every ounce of risk out.

Entrepreneurs take risks.

Maybe Millward Brown should rechristen themselves Millward Brown Trousers, since the whole thing is just an elaborate and expensive way to cover scared arses.

At GGT years ago, Dave Trott did a poster for LWT that took the piss out of the Ayatollah Khomeini. He received death threats and all the creatives working for him thought that was fantastic.

(That's come out slightly wrong. I don't mean we all wanted Dave to be killed by an Iranian hit squad. Just that we loved the idea of an ad provoking that fierce a response. Although I think one art director who’d been refused a pay rise that year, did temporarily join a suicide squad.)

When was the last time your agency did something like that ?

More importantly, when was the last time it even wanted to do something like that ?

HELLO GREEN AND WOOD. GOOD BYE CAMPBELL AND LACE...

robert campbell — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 05:27:00 GMT

We're now six months old. And for all sorts of reasons Garry and Robert have decided to do something that Ogilvy, Mather, J Walter Thompson, Doyle, Dane and Bernbach, never did: take their names off the door. So now we are just (Beta). And all the beta for it.

Why?

Because losing Campbell Lace is the right thing to do. (Beta) is much bigger than Garry and Robert already. (Beta) is a philosophy...a way of being...continuous improvement...never satisfied...always new....testing...testing...testing...speaking of which, we're incredibly excited to announce...

1) Mark Wood has joined us as our chairman.

Those of you who know Mark and his awesome reputation in the world of business and finance will understand why we're so lucky to have him. In recent years Mark has been CEO of both Axa, and The Prudential. Latterly he set up pensions company Paternoster. He's also been a great friend, inspiration, and sanity check for (Beta) in its formative months.

It's thrilling for us to have Mark on board. His presence adds a dimension to (Beta) that ensures we will never be just another advertising agency. Yeee Haaa.

2) Malcolm Green joins (Beta) as a partner.

From Gary Lineker for Walkers to Howard at the Halifax, Malcolm has one of the most awesome showreels in the business. But Malcolm is not a man who rests on his laurels. Since he left DLKW he has worked with Naked Communications, directed commercials, and videos. He joins us January 1st. Happy new year indeed.

Welcome Malcolm. It is a pleasure and an honour.

We had a modest soiree last week to celebrate the news of Mark, and Malcolm, the heartless slaughter of Campbell and Lace, and to say thank you to some of our friends, colleagues and clients who have got us through the first six months.

Nat and Lol came and we were delighted to hand over their grand. The cheque was so big it needed two strapping lads to hold it up!

Schad

steve henry — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 10:28:00 GMT

Schadenfreude’s a lovely word , isn’t it ?

I was reminded of it, reading Robert Harris’ review of Gyles Brandreth’s autobiography recently. Seeing the failure of Brandreth’s career to take off, Harris remarked that “even Richard Dawkins might start to believe there is a God”.

I wish I'd said that.

In a similar vein, a lot of people have been asking me how I feel about Tim Lindsay leaving TBWA.

Because it was an argument with Tim last year that led to my leaving the place.

So I'd just like to say this. Tim is one of the most talented, intelligent and straightest people you could ever hope to meet.

We disagreed about the philosophy of the agency, because there was a lot of pressure on both of us to try to resuscitate a formerly great brand.

But Tim always treated people fairly, and I consider him one of the most impressive people I've ever met in the industry.

However, it's natural for people to ask, because advertising is a hideously competitive industry, and it would bring out the envy, back-stabbing and schadenfreude in Mother Teresa's nicer baby sister.

It's over-crowded with very ambitious people all jostling for a few crumbs. So it brings out a "scarcity" view of the world.

It's interesting. There are a few very high profile people I know who have prompted various attacks on their characters even though the attackers don't even know the people involved.

(Rather like the old Guinness poster which read “I don’t like it because I’ve never tried it”.)

The first one is my old buddy Rupert Howell. Rupert seems to put some people's backs up - but only if they don't know him.

I can actually understand this completely. Before I'd met him, I couldn't stand him.

In those days he used to appear with monotonous regularity on the front page of Campaign because he was new business director at Y+R and I suspect there has never been a more successful new business director in the history of advertising.

But the photo Campaign used made him look unbearably smug, so I avoided meeting him for about 2 years. Then I bumped into him and realised within 2 minutes that here was not only probably the most gifted account man of his generation, but also a man with absolutely rock solid personal integrity to match. The man was and still is a model of the very best personal qualities.

The second is Trevor Beattie. I once had to defend Trevor in a roomful of people judging some award or another. Because, like Rupert, Trevor's extraordinary success means that people assume there must be something wrong with him.

Tall poppy syndrome. Appropriate for this time of year, perhaps.

But I have to say that every time I've met Trevor, I've found him to be immensely bright, passionate, well-informed on a huge range of subjects, generous with his time and his talent and his money, and just a really nice guy to be around.

Mind you, I've only met him about 10 times, so maybe he really is a bastard.

I realise that this assessment may piss off a number of people who've never got nearer to him than 10 yards' distance at the Grosvenor House, but that's their loss.

This might all seem too saccharine, and I apologise if it does. This isn't me full of the Xmas spirit (because I hate Xmas) or merrily pissed (because I stopped drinking four years ago).

(So as you can imagine, I'm a bundle of laughs at a Xmas party).

It's just an attempt to point out something in advertising which I've never liked. The sniping and the envy.

Of course adland has more than its share of twats, arseholes, rats, prats and pillocks. There are several sharks, and at least two people at the top of the pile whom I would consider to be certifiable psychopaths.

But this industry, which sometimes seems like it's on its knees, would stand more chance of revival if it knew how to celebrate and cherish its heroes better.

Brevity is the soul of wit

Lolly and Nat — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 11:13:00 GMT

We've been going to an amazing sketch-writing course on weekends. It involves watching classic sketches from Smack the Pony and Monty Python, laughing a lot, and then analysing why.

So it's basically heaven. Oh and then we have to improvise on the spot in front of the whole class. Not so heavenly.

Wanted to share a few things from it, as - inevitably - there were many moments which crossed over into advertising.

So this week, class, we'll look at how the "craft" of sketch writing overlaps into crafting good ads. (forgive the use of the word 'craft', it is pretentious but necessary).

The classic sketch structure consists of:

The setup. The twist. Escalation. Pay-off.

The interesting bit is escalation. There are many different ways in which a comic can escalate the joke in a sketch...

Repetition - think of Lauren in Catherine Tate who is relentlessly 'bovvered'. Or Cleese and his million ways to describe how the parrot is in fact dead.

Revelation - where a new layer of unexpectedness is revealed. Or something new about the character which adds to the humour. e.g. the Constable Savage sketch in Not the 9 o' clock News. In this, the constable is being disciplined for a bunch of absurd arrests. Then we find out that it's the same man he's been arresting. Then we find out why - because he's black. and then we find out the script actually has a strong political polemic. Worth watching if you've not seen it (can't find it on youtube though)

Variation - a new version of the same twist. For example, in this god-like Fry & Laurie sketch, a man insists his surname IS the sound of a lighter being dropped onto a counter. the variation on this joke comes when he insists his address IS a tap dancing sequence.

I was struck by how similar this is to writing an ad campaign. The joke is the central thought, or strategy. And the variations are simply different executions of the same thought - just as three posters in an ad campaign are basically escalating the same concept in different ways.

Our homework this week was to write a 3 minute sketch. I'm writing about call-centre ineptitude. Nat's writing about delusional estate agents. Should be lots of fun. Any fun horror stories on either, please feel free to share - we may use it as script fodder - thanks.

AND THE WINNERS ARE....

robert campbell — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 04:02:00 GMT

We're delighted to announce that Nat and Lol scooped the Beta Blog Bonanza with nearly half of your votes!

So they get the grand. We think they might be on holiday, so as soon as they get back we'll present it to them.

So congratulations to Lol and Nat.

Thanks very much to the rest of you for your time, efforts and support.

There have been some wonderfully amusing, thought provoking, moving, and at times offensive moments.

We've had fun. We hope you have.

To Jack Gardener, who quite rightly campaigned for us to give the money to a children's charity - Jack we already are actively supporting two children's charities. The time, money and resource we give far exceeds the £1000.

And to Niail, who suggested that we were 'twallocks' for blogging and staying at the Mount Nelson instead of attending to our clients - Robert is in fact staying at the Mount Nelson with a client. They've been shooting a commercial for some days now. The shoot is going well. So thanks for reminding us Niail what our priority should be, but trust us, we're on it. You twallock.

We're thrilled Nat and Lol won.

Let's celebrate.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwEMxYggoKQ

Seedy thoughts

steve henry — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 08:51:00 GMT

A few years ago I was thinking of setting up a club called “Five Creative Directors Behaving Badly”.

The idea was fairly explanatory in the title.

I think the members were gonna be me, Robert Saville, Trevor Beattie, Dave Droga and Robert Campbell.

But rather than just getting p*ssed, there was another agenda, which was that we’d throw our collective weight around. If we didn’t like the way Cannes was behaving, we’d threaten to boycott it. If we felt that Campaign’s treatment of anyone or anything was unfair, we’d let them know.

But it never took off. Because I was too lazy to make it happen.

And it would be even harder to do it these days.

Because – what’s happened to Creative Directors ?

And is there any chance in hell of any of them behaving badly ?

If you want to know what a creative director’s role should be, you could do a lot worse than look at Alex Bogusky.

Because he’s forged an agency which produces great work at a time when just about everybody else seems to have given up.

When he was asked what he did, he answered – it’s simple, it’s about picking the right idea and making it as good as we can.

And that IS simple to say.

But doing it is another matter.

That’s why pitches are decided on chemistry. Because it’s a lot easier to pick a bunch of people you like than it is to pick a good idea.

That’s why research is king. Because picking the right idea is … f*cking scary, if you’re serious about it

In Hollywood there are people who make decisions about creativity every day, who’ve done it for years, and they sh*t themselves while trying to pick the next one.

Here, we give the decision to a bunch of disinterested people eating Kettle’s crisps in a room with a suspiciously smoky mirror on one wall.

Picking the right idea is what creative directors should do – it’s what Alex Bogusky does brilliantly, it’s what Dave Droga does brilliantly.

But we’ve done away with the concept here in Britain.

Well ok, not quite – Robert and Richard are outstanding.

And just to be perfectly clear, I’m not questioning the rest of the talent here in the UK. We’ve got probably got more creative talent than ever before. I’m questioning the politics of the industry right now.

The attitude of the industry.

A few years ago, a friend of mine was tasked with answering the question as to why WPP won a lot fewer creative awards than Omnicom agencies.

He did a very meticulous analysis, the precise details of which now escape me.

But having compared all the variables, he concluded that there was only ONE significant structural, difference between the two groups.

Omnicom agencies back then were run jointly by people from creative and account management backgrounds.

WPP agencies were run almost exclusively by people just from account management backgrounds.

And these days it’s not just an issue for WPP, it’s an issue for our industry as a whole – the fact that, currently, creative talent is hired not partnered.

The people who set up the legendary old agencies were all, largely, creatives. From David Abbott through to Leo Burnett through to David Ogilvy.

But unless you work in Fallon or Mother, when was the last time your Creative Director made a decision that actually carried any real weight ?

A lot of the big network agencies don’t even seem to have ECDs anymore.

Creative Directors used to be the people who made a difference.

Now they’re just people who can be wheeled out for pitches to make small talk.

I’m surprised they don’t all want to behave really, really badly.

VOTE NOW!!! VOTE NOW!!! VOTE NOW!!!

robert campbell — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 13:14:00 GMT

Entries for the amazing Beta blog £1000 giveaway are now closed. We want you to decide who wins the £1000. See below our shortlist of potential winners. At the bottom of the page is a natty polling device.

IN SUMMARY....

1) The amazing Campbell Lace Alpha blog by James Mitchell.

2) Two virals from the girls that invented virals. Nat and Lol.

3) Two virals from Danny Walsh. Apparently Danny has worked with Robert at two agencies but isn't Jim Kelly.

4) Two virals from a man called Matt Winn. Bonkers.

5) And last Claire Beale's immortal quote about Garry and dogs' bollocks.

SEE ACTUAL ENTRIES BELOW. PLEASE VOTE AT THE BOTTOM OF PAGE.

1) The Campbell Lace Alpha blog. http://campbelllacealpha.blogspot.com/

2) These two from Nat and Lol. (Scroll to bottom of page to vote.)

3) These two from Danny Walsh. (Scroll to bottom of page to vote.)

4) These two from Matt Winn. (Scroll to bottom of page to vote.)

5) And last but not least how could we forget the immortal line from Claire Beale...

"ANYONE WHO KNOWS GARRY LACE KNOWS THAT ASKING HIM NOT TO CHASE NEW BUSINESS IS LIKE ASKING A DOG NOT TO LICK ITS BALLS."

Voting ends Wednesday night. Winners announced Thursday November 5th.

WARNING. IMPOSTER BLOG!!!!

robert campbell — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 12:35:00 GMT

A late entry comes from James Mitchell, with his Campbell Lace Alpha blog

Very amusing. Definitely on the short list.

http://campbelllacealpha.blogspot.com/

NAT AND LOLLY BACK ON TOP!!!

robert campbell — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 08:08:00 GMT

Just when we'd drawn up our shortlist, Nat and Lolly smash it out of the park with 'Water Cooler.'

Its scary. Nat and Lolly's hold on the stuff we actually talk about is too accurate to be true. How did they know that Garry's pet name for Robert is 'cupcake?' We're having Carnaby Street swept for bugs.

So we're adding 'Water Cooler' to our shortlist. The people's vote will start on 1st of November and last for four days.

Here it is. Enjoy.

p.s. For those of you who think the idea of Robert as a transvestive is absurd as suggested in 'Watercooler'...Unfortunately we have no pictures of when Robert turned up at the WACL Valentines Day Dinner Blind Date competition dressed as a woman. (1998?) But that night he saw off both Brett Gosper and Andrew Robertson to win a 'blind date' with Rio from the then very hot tv series Gladiators. My goodness she was big and strong. Has anyone out there still got pictures? Those were days.

BBC wins unlikely backing for Nick Griffin Question Time

Ian Darby — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 11:23:00 GMT

I enjoyed reading Saturday's edition of The Sun. While its editors were placed in the baffling position of having to endorse the BBC (which it has been making vitriolic attacks on almost daily for months now) it deserves praise for its strong condemnation of the BNP and Nick Griffin.

But the paper's coverage of Griffin's appearance seemed to lack some of the relish and sharpness that usually characterises its coverage of major events. Maybe this was because it's such a serious subject or maybe because The Sun's staff were confused at having to support the BBC.

For once, it was Saturday's edition of the Daily Star that eclipsed The Sun on a major story. The paper opted for a p2/p3 DPS on Griffin's appearance and ran a side bar story comparing him to an evil Captain Pugwash. This together with the best sports quiz/crossword page in UK newspapers (a must for all travelling football fans on a Saturday)made the Star's package a winning one.

That said, it was good to see The Sun doing the right thing within such a volatile debate, especially as, judging from the texts it ran from readers, many of its audience don't agree with its stance.

How to win agency of the decade

steve henry — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 08:41:00 GMT

Can I first of all congratulate Campaign’s picture editor for their work in last week’s issue ?

The front page showed two images of Peter Mandelson - holding a bunch of bananas in one, and minus the bananas in the other.

Where did Mandelson’s bananas go ?

That’s got to be worth a Question Time in itself.

Secondly, in the piece on awards on page 13, it showed great dedication to pick 4 creatives who were all too tall for their hair.

As a result of judicious cropping, 4 world-famous creative gurus looked like a row of hard-boiled eggs.

It was worth the £3.70 for that alone.

Anyway. To business.

I can imagine that the conversation at Mother or Fallon goes a bit like this.

"We're in the running for Campaign Agency of the Decade." "Yea but look what happened to the last Agency of the Decade."

For those of you who can't remember, the last Agency of the Decade was called HHCL (and I was the 2nd "h").

And, for the benefit of any agency in the running for this most prestigious of poisoned chalices, allow me to tell you what I think did happen.

We let the original dynamic of the partners dissipate. In other words, we fought too much. This came about through politics and envy. If, in your current agency, the original partners are still working happily together, you're probably ok.

So my advice to all partners in all agencies is this – see if you can stick together.

If only for the sake of the quids.

It’s weird – there were all sorts of personality differences between us, but they got subsumed when we were young and struggling. However, as soon as success came our way, we fought like cat and dog.

One of the partners in particular was always trying to get other partners off on “sabbaticals” which effectively undermined them in the agency.

It was like Big Brother, with slightly more at stake.

In fact, it was utterly terrifying.

As a result of all these feuds, we eventually fell foul of what is known in the business as "Bogle's Dictum" - the mantra that any ad agency is only 3 telephone calls from disaster.

I.e. if your top 3 clients decide to leave at the same time, you're pretty much f*cked.

When the HHCL partnership dissipated, on a sea of squabbles, niggles and drug-fuelled Christmas parties aboard Sir Phillip Green's 60-foot yacht moored in the Shadwell Basin, (actually I retract the last item on advice from lawyers, several of whom were there at the time), we ended up getting those 3 Bogellian calls.

In fact we got about 8 of them, pretty much all together over a shortish period of time. I got one, telling us Egg had fired us, just 5 minutes before I had to address a huge conference in Kuala Lumpur.

Anybody leading an agency in the running for Campaign Poisoned Chalice of the Decade, on receiving a string of calls from their 8 biggest clients asking to review the business, would be well advised to wander down from the 34th floor of their ivory tower and start panicking.

Of course it is absolutely a client's prerogative to call a review. But once a couple of them do it to you, the sharks start circling. Sharks with sh*t-eating grins.

I can’t complain about that. It’s just the law of the jungle.

And I apologise for mixing my metaphors there. As the more observant of you will recognize, you don’t get sharks in a jungle.

I should of course have referred to lemurs with sh*t-eating grins.

But maybe this is all a result of what my old English tutor would call the "hamartia", the tragic flaw in the characters of dramatic heroes which leads to their eventual downfall.

In the case of Macbeth, it was ambition. In the case of Othello, unbearable jealousy. In our case, we were all off our t*ts in the Shadwell Basin.

Anyway.

I hope that helps.

DANNY WALSH, COME ON DOWN.

robert campbell — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 19:56:00 GMT

First came the supremely witty Claire Beale with Garry licking his own balls. Then came Nat and Lolly's excellent viral.

And now, Danny Walsh - whoever he is - with his razor sharp parody of Nat and Lolly's viral.

Danny. You are currently front runner for our £1000 prize. Congratulations, mate. p.s. Who are you?

BEDTIME ANTICS

Garry Lace — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 10:12:00 GMT

As Robert slowly sank into his bed after an exhausting but highly enjoyable birthday, he only had one thing on his mind. In bed already was the love of his life and mother of his children. It was, after all, his birthday he thought to himself.

Time was of the essence since at 51,you're not quite as up to it as you used to be. Undaunted by this prospect, Robert decided to get straight to the point. "There's something I'd really like", he said starting to move closer to the beautiful woman he had met on that fateful night in New York all those years ago. Buoyed by the fact that he had not been given the immediate cold shoulder, he continued. "And, I've been thinking about it all day".

"I'd really like your hand in marriage"

Yes, we have our first agency engagement. Our resident rocker Robert is getting married to our artist in residence and all round beautiful woman, Gurmit. We are all thrilled and have spent the only profit we've made so far on new dresses in anticipation of the big event.

Secretly, we all think that Robert's done it to allow the last ten days of our blog competition to focus around everyone's views of this happy event. So, get replying, get commenting and get congratulating and you could still win that £1000. If you do, you'll be able to buy yourself a new frock.

Booze Britain isn't all bad according to C4

Ian Darby — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 10:30:00 GMT

The establishment assault, from both left and right, on "Booze Britain" culture is pissing me off. Labour hiking taxes on alcohol while the Tories are threatening to double duty on drinks such as super strength lager and cider while leaving their favourite tipples like malt whisky and fine wines untouched.

Sometimes more balance is needed in the argument. It's not all about pissed up idiots knocking seven shades of *** out of each other after downing 20 shots on a Saturday night. And Channel 4's documentary The Red Lion, which aired last Thursday, captured this beautifully.

Part of the Cutting Edge series, The Red Lion film, directed by award-winning documentary maker Sue Bourne, was an entertaining and, at times, moving snapshot of some of the characters that populate the thousands of Red Lion pubs around the UK.

We saw old ladies who needed their pub as a refuge against loneliness, a tee-total women's darts team in Scotland, a rugby team and a ladies hockey team who used their Red Lion pubs as places to drink heavily and a character called "Reg the Hedge" so called because "There's a very large hedge down my way and a couple of times, I actually fell in it. I fell in one time and couldn't find my way out."

A real mix of people who showed that the life of the British pub is vibrant and (Reg and the rugby boys aside) not all about getting as smashed as possible. And the close of the film, which showed the impact on people when their pub has shut down, illustrated that everything should be done to save the local. So check out The Red Lion on 4oD if you get chance.

NAT AND LOLLY. NUMBER ONE WITH A BULLET....

robert campbell — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 22:14:00 GMT

So, another week of our fabulous £1000 blog giveaway has passed.

Many tried to knock Claire B off the top slot, they all failed.

Except for two: Nat and Lolly.

We love their viral taking the piss out of Garry and Rob's discussions about closing for new business. It's currently rocketing to the top of the 'most viewed' ratings on youtube.

But please do not confuse Nat and Lolly's handiwork with this promotional video that is tagged 'Lace Campbell' on youtube.

Wow. Doesn't Robert look foxy in a wig?

Congratulations to Nat and Lolly. Commiserations to Claire B. And 'must try harder' to all the other entrants. Keep 'em coming, folks. Keep 'em coming.

You've got two weeks left to dazzle us.

Multiple ideas

steve henry — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 17:26:00 GMT

The best advice I can give you about pitching is this - brush your tongue as well as your teeth. Because 75% of the microbes which cause bad breath are on the tongue.

And 75% of pitches are about personal chemistry, not about ideas.

I remember when we used to get the intermediaries in to HHCL to talk about pitching. One of them told a very funny story about how a senior female client had said that she fancied “everyone in the room” of the agency which (surprise, surprise) went on to win the pitch.

It was a very funny story for lots of people – but not unfortunately for us, because we’d lost that particular pitch.

Again, I wonder if I’d spent more time in Savile Row and less time in Milletts, how different history might have been.

But as I said last week, if you want sexual chemistry, why not go to a speed-dating event ?

(Although in the case of some people I know, the dating would have to take place at the speed of light for them to pick up any positive responses.)

Pitches should be about ideas.

But don’t just take my word for it. Alex Bogusky is saying the same thing when he says agencies should be factories, rather than thinking they’re in the service industry.

And then, you have to look at one very important question.

Do you present one idea in the pitch, or several ?

Years ago, I remember writing a column where I criticised Saatchis for winning the Toyota pitch by using spectacular pitch theatre.

Basically, they’d somehow managed to get a Toyota into their Reception area, (by removing the glass from their windows, as I understood it) to create an impressive first impression.

I wrote rather huffily that surely strategic thinking was more important than knowing the phone number of a good glazier.

But the fact is that Simon Dicketts had come up with one of the best lines ever created for a pitch – “The car in front is a Toyota” - so it wasn’t empty theatre.

So, that’s one way of going about it – find a great idea and get 100% behind it.

And, if you’re pitching for Anusol, stick a giant arsehole in Reception.

(You’ve probably got one quite near there already.)

But look at the other option.

Because you could show a whole bunch of ideas – as long as all of them are provocative.

And then you could say – let’s make a few of these, and see what happens.

This is where it gets exciting. And this is what I think agencies should be advocating now.

Because creativity has changed fundamentally.

In bad, traditional agencies, 99% of the planning happens before the work breaks.

You get one script that takes 6 months to get through research, and it’s then put out there for a year or more, gathering dust and boring the pants off people.

In good agencies, at least 50% of the planning happens after the work breaks. Because half the skill of it is in developing and evolving it.

It has to be reactive, adaptive.

And that means being less precious about it all.

A very bright planner called Jon Leach who worked at HHCL was once working on a positioning statement for the agency - and he came up with the phrase “Strong opinions, lightly held”.

At the time I thought – that’s b*llocks, we’re about strong opinions, strongly held. But a minute later I thought - no, he’s right.

Rather proving him right, as it happened.

Because the agency loved to explore radical positions for clients, but we’d very rarely die on a sword for anything.

And I think we’d stumbled onto something very valuable about running work.

By being less precious about it, you can maybe create more value.

Present several ideas. Make several ideas. As I pointed out much later to the Whiskas client, there’s more than one way to skin a cat.

And all I care about is that the client does do something radical – rather than the invisible garbage which makes up 95% of our industry’s output.

When we first developed this multiple-idea approach all those years ago, we had to use research to help us pick the best idea out of several.

But that’s far from ideal – because research is tricky.

In fact, research is like sex.

Good research is very good, but bad research is the worst thing in the world.

It’s also like sex in that it involves one-way mirrors, cheap wine, M&S sausage rolls and some bored-looking women wondering if this is really the best use of their evening.

But these days you can push out several ideas and see which one gets talked about most on the internet – thus involving consumers directly and saving yourself the expense of using conventional research.

Because the one thing we know about conventional research is that it doesn’t work.

All new business launches use conventional research, but about 80% of them fail.

(That's worse odds than avoiding halitosis.)

The real reason Campbell Lace Beta have stopped pitching

Lolly and Nat — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 11:02:00 GMT

As I'm sure many of you are aware, Campbell Lace Beta have decided to stop pitching for new business. To make their blog readership even higher they offered a £1000 prize to the best comment on this subject. Since Lol is buying a flat, and I am off to Thailand we decided to have a go at pushing Clare Beale off the top spot in the Campbell Lace Beta comment competition. Anything to try and get our hands on the cash.

As words failed us, we thought we'd go a little bit audio visual.

We hope you like it and Robert/Garry we also hope you're not offended.

#worldview - deconstructing the silo mentality

Nick Allen — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 08:38:00 GMT

Even with the perceived turnaround in the global economy, we are all aware that the global recession has caused, and continues to cause, seismic shifts in the advertising and marketing industry, precipitating the need for rapid change. One area being impacted by the combined forces of recessionary pressures and technological progression is organisational structure.

One of the macro trends that we are starting to see is the deconstruction of the silo mentality that has been the status quo within client organisations, and which is mirrored by agencies in the major holding groups.

Discipline-specific fiefdoms exist around silos, with individuals and agencies behaving territorially to protect their specific areas of competence, guarding revenue streams or marketing budgets fiercely, and having accountability solely for delivery in the channel for which they have been responsible.

“My hope is that the recession will have been a huge wake-up call to clients with regard to that siloed mentality,” explained Bob Jeffrey, Chairman and Worldwide CEO, JWT. “It’s not only inefficient from a cost-savings perspective, but the more you collapse the silos, the more integration you drive, ultimately leading to a more effective environment in which to deliver better ideas and stronger creative output.”

Bob Jeffrey

Chris Colborn, Executive Vice President & Chief Experience Officer, R/GA, sees the silo mentality as a fundamental problem in developing effective creative work: “Many clients operate traditional structures where leads sit within verticals, each in charge of a discipline-specific agency and responsible for maximising effectiveness in a single channel. This model creates an artificial disincentive for collaboration, and therefore doesn’t engender an approach in which holistic synergies naturally form.”

Chris Colborn

“It’s a huge challenge for clients to evolve that model,” says Colborn, “to be leaner, more dynamic, cut costs and develop a more holistic structure, whilst still getting the best out of their agencies.”

The siloed organisational structure not only proves detrimental in terms of developing exceptional creative work, but actually creates natural disharmony and tension within the holding group verticals.

“I’m constantly saying that agencies need to work smarter,” Jeffrey continues. “They need to know when to compete and when to collaborate. Agencies are inherently territorial, tribal and competitive, but it’s critical to take an agnostic, less ego-centric approach to collaboration, and to have a bigger view of the world and the direction in which the world is heading if agencies are to achieve the ultimate goal of making their clients successful.”

Jeffrey understands that, “absolutely each agency needs to develop their own brand and build a reputation for creative excellence, but if client organisations start to evolve to be structured less around verticals, then agencies will be able to collaborate more effectively to deliver better work.”

The recessionary pressures on revenues and costs are forcing every client to analyse in fine detail how effective their marketing department is, and whether they are operating the most efficient ROI structure in a fast-changing environment.

As digital, mobile and social media platforms become more prevalent across all consumer segments, the discipline-specific silo mentality seems increasingly outdated and ineffective.

With CEO’s and CMO’s the world over looking to cut costs and increase the value of their spend, the time for significant and radical structural change is upon us. This will not only impact the client organisations themselves, but by definition the relationships with roster agencies across all disciplines.

Bob Greenberg, the Founder, Chairman, CEO & CCO, R/GA, believes that, “if you’re organised with a client around the consumer, then you’ll be much less affected by the storm than if you’re part of a siloed organisation. If you’re organised in verticals then the impact will be felt much more keenly, as cuts across each silo will need to be made. Nike are a client that have reorganised their internal organisational structure to revolve around the consumer, which is a model that I believe is much more efficient and effective.”

Bob Greenberg

If we look at some of the work that Nike are delivering, through R/GA as well as a number of other roster agencies, it is clearly evident that the reformulation of their organisational structure is paying dividends.

Ideas such as Nike+, the Ballers Network, NikeID, and HEAD2HEAD demonstrate that the company has truly put the consumer at the heart of all its thinking, delivering multi-platform solutions that are implemented more effectively by running a streamlined, de-siloed structure.

Chris Colborn summed up the dilemma facing many clients by describing why digital agencies are increasingly being perceived to offer greater value for money than the traditional agencies: “Initially digital agencies were one of the siloed verticals, but it quickly became apparent that every other silo needed a digital equivalent, in some form or another.”

“If you combine the breadth of experience, therefore, that digital needs to deliver, along with the relatively low spend in comparison to other channels, you can see why digital agencies are able to think more holistically in their approach to marketing, and also to deliver solutions that improve ROI levels.”

Although Colborn and Greenberg are approaching the topic from a different angle to Jeffrey, they are all in agreement that the concept of the traditional silo structure is fundamentally flawed.

The deconstruction of this model, reformulating around a more consumer-centric structure that has engagement and participation through digital platforms at its heart, is one of the major shifts that the recession has precipitated.

As with many of the changes this recession has brought, and will continue to bring, it is not that the shift wouldn’t have happened eventually; it’s just that the economic downturn has forced dramatic change to happen much more quickly.

The problem is that a rapid, fundamental structural revolution within the advertising industry has caused, and will keep causing, a great deal of pain while it happens.

What's the opposite of No Logo?

Lolly and Nat — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 16:36:00 GMT

A few weeks ago we were lucky enough to see a retrospective by H5 at the BFI, as part of the One Dot Zero festival. One of the films that really stood out was 'Logorama'. Perhaps you'll have seen it when RSA last came in to show you reels, but if you didn't then you're in for a treat.

It's like some sort of Kleinian nightmare. A world where everything - everything, down to the smallest detail - is a famous logo. Ronald McDonald plays the lead role, staring as a homicidal maniac. His fellow actors include Mr Pringle, Michelin man, Haribo Kid, the MGM lion and even the Glazier mint polar bear. To name but a few.

Then, as the initially joyous brandscape suddenly turns in on itself and erupts into an apocalyptic earthquake, you can't help thinking the whole thing is a massive, unbridled attack on capitalism.

Once the raputurous applause had subsided, H5 came on to do a Q & A. One thing that was hard to believe is that they made the entire thing without getting any permission from any of the many brands featured. In fact, they have now received complaints from a certain brand that they weren't included in it!

It took four years to make, at a cost of £200,000. Ironically, when they started making the film all those years ago, they had no idea that the world would be drowning in global recession by the time it was released. 'No, but we were lucky,' laughs Hose, one of the H5 creators.

When asked if they'd consider making a feature out of it, they declined. 'It has to be strong and short. So that you wish to see it again and again.' It's certainly that.

At the end of the Q & A, H5 hinted that they might be nearing the end of their time together. They've some incredible films in their reel - 'The Child' which later 'inspired' that vodafone ad; and a brilliant Royksopp video among them. But with Logorama, they've certainly gone out with a bang.

www.logorama-themovie.com/

Life's a pitch and then you die

steve henry — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 09:32:00 GMT

I was fascinated by the story of Tom Williams, the Harlequins winger who went off with a fake injury, to allow another player on.

We once pulled the planner Dave O'Hanlon out of a pitch with a fake ruptured colon. Because there was a fear that his statistical analysis of the market would be too provocative. We didn't have any blood capsules, so we improvised with a bar of chocolate. But you don't want to know the full details.

And actually pitching in general is a very demoralizing and stupid process.

How much of the truly great work that's run has come directly out of a pitch process ?

Actually that's a pretty difficult question to answer. I'd be seriously surprised if anyone could answer that question.

You'd have to be a nut-case to even attempt it.

Anyway.

I've got a new idea for pitching.

Just ideas.

No chemistry, no sexual chemistry - honestly, if clients want that, there are any number of speed-dating events they can go to.

So, on that note, I went off last week to brief the students at Bucks College in High Wycombe on two brands that have been going through the pitch process recently.

Young’s and Dulux.

I had a great couple of hours down there, and I'll give you a taster of 10 ideas for each client.

Young’s Seafood.

1.
In cities, construction sites with tower cranes are used as oversized fishing rods. Huge installed fishes hang on the hooks of the cranes. When you send an sms to one of the fishes, it starts to make big soap bubbles.

2.
We send out a team of deep sea divers, who take packs of Young’s Seafood and plant them in fishermen's nets, so when they pulled them in, they would be like 'What the f*ck? How did they get there?' We could even target the fishermen that work for Birdseye. We would also like to get a 'mole' onto the boats to film the reactions - the footage could then be released as a viral.

3.
We associate Young’s seafood with brain training, because fish is good for the brain. This influences packaging and all marketing. Every pack has a brain training puzzle.

4.
We show short films showing how meat-producing animals are killed. The message is - "Take responsibility for what you eat."

5.
Traditional fishmongers used to wrap fresh fish in newspaper to keep it cool once the customer had bought it. That, and traditional fish and chips being wrapped in newspaper, serves as an iconic idea for a new line of packaging with a twist - ie it looks like a bunch of different newspapers.

Threadfin Bream, for example, comes from the Indian Ocean and therefore we would have an Indian style newspaper wraparound.

The newspaper date could correlate to the day the fish had been caught, and there could be a photograph of that specific fishing boat or its captain.

6.
Eating too much meat is directly linked to a number of types of cancer. Suggestion: Place empty fridge cabinets in supermarkets with signs warning that the supermarket is selling less meat due to the link between cancer and meat - with a suggestion to eat fish as a healthier alternative

7.
We haven't had fish flu yet. Or mad fish disease. We could make spoof videos with men in white coats (who turn out to be doctors, not actors) telling us this.

8. A fleet of fish tank lorries tour around the streets of London. These lorries contain live fish. Rods are passed to people looking out of their office windows, and they are encouraged to 'go fishing'.

9
This idea came from looking at the way fish spasm around when they have just been caught; it could go beautifully to music. Line -"It's flip flopping great".

The students sent me a link which frankly is about the most unappetizing bit of footage I’ve ever seen, and the music track which would supposedly made it funny has been disabled for copyright reasons – but here it is, anyway. There’s a really good idea in here somewhere …

. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8uMLCWhj0Js

10.
Invent a game in which people “fish” on the internet.

You cast your virtual rod and who knows what “tidbit” you’ll find.

Bring Britain’s favourite hobby to the online world.

DULUX

1. A competition to find Britain's Skankiest Rooms. You nominate people you know. We film them and shame them, then re-decorate the rooms.

Or we paint over road markings in Dulux colours. We could paint over zebra crossings with different, fresh colours, double yellow lines, keep clear boxes, cycle lanes, speed bumps etc. Dulux would then reveal via a website where users can vote for their town as 'The most depressing town in England', for the chance to have the same Dulux colour splash treatment. The colours used could be specifically chosen as mood enhancing, for example yellows and oranges to enliven or soft pinks and lilacs to create calm.

2. We sneak into Buckingham Palace and repaint the Queen's living room. Because her taste is, frankly, dreadful.

3. You could use augmented reality to let people see how their rooms might look with new colours.

The problem is, there is already an interesting iPhone application, which does something similar. You take a photo of your room and the application allows you to change the colour of the walls. This a rather dull demo on YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DiTdKrQ0MU8.

Or - more low-fi - give people torches that project new colours via filters onto primed walls.

4. We create a campaign of "weeping walls ", showing how houses have feelings. Is your living room feeling ignored ? When was the last time you did something nice for your pantry ? Maybe your house wants to divorce you.

5. We put up posters for the "lost" Dulux dog on lamp-posts all over Britain. Then audition for a new one. Or better still, a new mascot - it could be the Dulux badger. Whoever wins goes into a face-off against the original iconic shaggy dog.

6. Dulux could create an eye-dropper function on their website, that the user could then use on any webpage to select a colour that they want. Maybe you can also repaint boring websites this way.

7. Set up a campaign in which we claim that Dulux have stolen colours from famous paintings (and possibly other famous things) for their new range. Set up a stunt in which some public art pieces are made to look like their colours have been nicked.

8. On a massive scale wall in the city centre a message invites the viewer to test the newest colour trends from Dulux - directly onto the scene. The viewer gets a mobile application on his iPhone (mobile with motion control).

With the application he can now choose his favourite colours and paint something (in the air). A beamer transfers the paintings onto the wall. Afterwards the viewer can send a link with his painting to friends.

9.
<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eHcvbcmnNu4&feature=PlayList&p=B62D4F665A818F99&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=37>

Commission Giuliano del Sorbo to create an ambient piece for Dulux using their vibrant range of colours on a large branded canvas. White strips of card embossed with the Dulux logo would be scattered at the base of the canvas catching splatters of paint. These could then be collected as souvenirs or taken to a Dulux colour matching counter.

10. Own the mood-changing properties of colours.

Paint prisons or drug rehab places.

Every week Dulux takes on a new challenge in the real world.

Change the world with colour.

There you go.

I think they did really well.

SMARTARSES WANTED. £1000 REWARD.

robert campbell — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 07:49:00 GMT

Numbers of comments on our blog took a dramatic upturn last week.

The witty, the poetic, the controversial, the wise, the bitchy all threw their hats into the ring to win our £1000 'comment of the month prize.'

Fartacus opened the batting with 'I like Lemons.' Possibly not the wittiest comment, Farty, but certainly the shortest.

Bob Ashwood proved to us that long copy is not dead. Just a little bit senile. Ironic, given that on Bob's blog he declares 'Lifes too short. A sentence can't be.' We have a one word brief for you Bob. Haiku.

Martin Thomas neither confirmed nor denied that he wears stockings and suspenders.

Mark Hurst invited us out to lunch. Be very, very afraid when you go out to lunch with Mark.

Jaqueline De Steele was front runner for a moment with her poignant poetry about her beautiful son. Until someone spotted Jaqueline was actually Robert's mum and it was all getting a little too Oedipal.

Antoine De Git shamed us.

The Original Man in the Sky penned a very well argued critique of Albion.

Jonathan Durden agreed, eventually, it was not wise for Beta to mindlessly pitch for new business. We love you Jonathan.

Richard Huntindon, sadly. declined to comment.

But the comment of the week, by a country mile, and therefore the current £1000 front runner, wasn't even on our blog.

It was in Campaign. And it was written by none other than Claire Beale.

'ASKING GARRY LACE TO STOP CHASING NEW BUSINESS IS LIKE ASKING A DOG TO STOP LICKING ITS BALLS.'

Laugh? In the words of the late, great Peter Cook, 'we nearly shat.'

Claire. You are currently in line to win £1000.

So who's gonna knock Claire off the top slot?

Bring me the Head of the Head of Glue

Lolly and Nat — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 10:10:00 GMT

To celebrate turning ten yesterday, Glue had a bake-off.

Too many highlights to mention them all - but they included a tiny Tea Building (Honey I shrunk the Tea Building by Jenny Smart), an incredible pizza cake by Fraser Nicholas, interactive laptop projection fairy cakes, and an astounding likeness of Mark Cridge, by illustrator Steve Cutts.

Happy 10th birthday Glue, you talented bakers.

Is it good to see Moore of Sir Roger?

Ian Darby — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 09:46:00 GMT

I’ve long been a fan of Sir Roger Moore, so was amused by his appearance in the latest Post Office ad.

Once I’d got over the shock of seeing Sir Roger in this context - after all he’s more associated with boring, worthy charity work for the likes of UNICEF these days - I couldn’t help feeling a bit depressed.

Has it really come to this? A man of Sir Roger’s stature, he was once James Bond for God’s sake, is reduced to flogging financial products for the Government.

The ad itself is predictable but no great embarrassment (Sir Roger does a knowing raised eyebrow to camera and is involved in a cheesy “smoothie” gag but by no means disgraces himself).

But then it seemed sad to see him spending time doing this stuff rather than enjoying himself in the South of France or on the ski slopes somewhere.

He can’t need the money but that’s never really mattered to Sir Roger who just seems to like earning the stuff. And why not? Sir Roger has always been the type to turn a turkey into a golden egg, seeing film as a highly commercial enterprise rather than an artistic endeavour. Any man who has starred in movies such as The Cannonball Run, Bullseye! and Spice World can’t afford to take himself too seriously.

And hopefully the ads will prompt UK TV producers to consider Sir Roger for parts again as he’s never actually retired from acting. The Midsomer Murders creators could do worse than revisit their idea of approaching Sir Roger and his friend Sir Michael Caine to feature in an episode.

Disrespect to Simon Cowell, Strictly and X-Factor

Ian Darby — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 13:53:00 GMT

I've got no real problem with the nation's obsession with Strictly Come Dancing and The X-Factor. An obsession fed each and every day by the national press - so there's instantly several pages of every paper I have little interest in as I watch neither show.

But it's the tone of reverence some journalists use when discussing these shows that grates. It's as if Simon Cowell, Bruce Forsyth and Cheryl Cole were Gods on a higher plane, the way some commentators bang on. No wonder the stars of these shows behave in such an out-of-touch manner.

I really must stop listening to Radio Five Live but its morning news programme today carried a lengthy and earnest review of both shows as though they represent the greatest artistic achievements of mankind rather than the cheap and easy entertainment they really are.

So more disrespect and general piss taking towards these shows should be obligatory. This should keep Cowell's ego in check and make Strictly participants think twice before abusing their new found fame.